My Introspection for Your Amusement

Go Boldly, with Confidence!

2012-01-18T15:24:00.000-05:00

The Baby Sister has LANDED... KJ Arrived a week ago.

1) Having your kid sister live with you is NOT like having a roommate. Roommates suck - you can fuss at your baby sister and she'll still tell you that she loves you before she goes to bed.

2) When your kid sister eats your groceries - you don't mind so much.

3) Kid sisters CLEAN more than actual roommates, because they are happy you let them move in. :)

4) I can make her walk the dogs! WOOT!

5) Did I mention that she cleans - the other day I woke up from my nap and all the dishes were done. SCORE!

Also - she provokes some thought.

Last night we were chilling out on the couch with the pups (I'm fostering an adorable little terrier mix named Sonny - he already has a home - I'll post a couple of photos of the babies at the end though - because they are so cute, you must be party to the cuteness).

And KJ asks, "Where did you get all your confidence from?".

And at the time I was all like, "I dunno.." and after a couple of minutes I told her about one of the first times I stood up for myself and felt really good about myself for doing so. And she sort of nodded.... but it led to more rumination... you know - cuz that's how I roll.... all Rumination Style! (ba-bam)

And I started thinking that yeah, the few times I stood up for myself with bullies growing up did increase my confidence, leading up to that definitive moment that I told her about - and I was thinking of other things.

I've had fifteen years out on my own in the big, bad world (stop, don't do the math - you don't know how old I am - stop it! REALLY!) and in that fifteen years, I've really had time to find out who I am. What I believe, and what about myself and I like and love, and maybe don't like so much.

I remember realizing that I was pretty for the first time. I remember the first time I felt the empowerment of being a woman. I remember the first time someone looked at me and told me that I was really funny. I mean, I knew I cracked myself up - but this person was telling me that I was genuinely funny.

And yes, to a certain extent, external validation can build up your confidence in yourself. BUT, if that's the only way you attain confidence, it will be easy to tear it down.

Those things laid seeds in my heart. One of the shining moments was when I realized that GOD really loves me.

Think about that... take a minute or two and let it sink into your bones. God knows who YOU are - he knows how many hairs are on your head. He knows how much that paper cut you got last week hurt. He hears your prayers, He knows what is on your heart and He CARES about what those things are.

That is also very confidence building in my opinion.

And when you know that God loves you- and you know that even at the worst of times, you are committed to doing your best, those are the times that lead to loving yourself.

And when you love yourself - you can EMBRACE yourself.

And once you EMBRACE who you are - once you OWN your own awesomeness, then you will find confidence. It's all about loving yourself and believing in yourself.

Now - let's talk about what confidence really is. We all know I love the dictionary so....

noun

full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliabilityof a person or thing: We have every confidence in their abilityto succeed.

belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance: His lack of confidencedefeated him.

certitude; assurance: He described the situation with suchconfidence that the audience believed him completely.

a confidential communication: to exchange confidences.

(especially in European politics) the wish to retain anincumbent government in office, as shown by a vote in aparticular issue: a vote of confidence.

noun

offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.

So - you can see that these are two different things. And being confident does NOT mean that you think you are better than anyone else.

Because we all know that we are all special. Confidence is believing in yourself. Arrogance is believing that everyone else is not as special as you.

So, Don't do that, okay?

Confidence is NOT a lack of Humility.

You should still flex your humility muscles. I don't mean to humiliate yourself or others. I just mean recognize that wonder of everything else in the world. Not in COMPARISON to yourself, in the sense that you are not as good as something or someone else.

Seriously, God MADE you - he made you in His image - that's a pretty humble feeling in itself. We aren't using humility to be self deprecating.

Just celebrate the awe that is other people, and God's creation. Recognize that there is something, and Someone out there that is bigger than all of us.

And let yourself bask in the feeling of being humbled by that vastness, that greatness, that awe inspiring LOVE.

When you see the ocean for the first time - and you look out over that water and you realize how vast the ocean is - it fills you with awe - and usually some humility. That's the feeling I'm talking about. That sense of wonder. :)

Usually, I get that feeling when a baby smiles at me, or laughs at my silly faces, voices, or whatever I'm doing to try to make it happy.

What else is Self Confidence NOT? It is not Narcissism!
Dictionary, Please!

noun

inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love;vanity.

Psychoanalysis . erotic gratification derived from admirationof one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normalcondition at the infantile level of personality development.

So, don't go thinking that being confident is being full of yourself and be so blinded by your own awesomeness that you can't go out and practice humility and find the awe in the world and other People, and to bask in the wonder of God.

Because you are cool, and all - but you're not God. The only reason we are special, is because God made us this way :)

Anyway - I hope I got my point across - One never can tell *wink*.

Now for Canine Cuteness:

Sweet Sonny, my Foster Pup:

And my baby, Piper in her newest Sweater (Martha Stewart Collection from PetSmart)

Awww - I love my baby. She really loves Sonny - I think she'll be sad when he goes to his furrever home. Her favorite new hobby is jumping on his head and stealing whatever toy he wants to play with. It seems to make her really happy.

And Sweet Sonny is so submissive, he just lets her do whatever she wants. He's a gay little dog anyway - the only other dog he got excited about was Mrs. Love-Dove's, Scooby. He tried to hump poor Scooby. And looked at Scooby with the deepest of deep gay-love-gazes... it was rather sweet. Except the humping part - humping is always a little disturbing...

Anywho - have a great day!!! :)

Happy New Year! 2012

2012-01-03T14:12:00.001-05:00

So... HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The New Year always brings out my introspective side - and I've been reflecting on what I want to do and accomplish in 2012.

But, this is me we're talking about, so we'll start with a couple of short stories.

Last Friday night, I went out with some friends to celebrate a birthday. There were darling babies, and old friends I hadn't seen in a while. So, I held babies and caught up. One of the guys - we'll call him, "The Godfather" wanted to know about my dating life.

Specifically, how things were going with a guy I'd been out with in the early part of December. I was like, "who?". And The Godfather jogged my memory as to which gentleman I'd told him about.

This guy and I had been on an excellent first date - capped off by wonderful hugs and kissing in the parking lot. This is always a good sign - and I was optimistic.

The next day, he texted me early in the morning - and I smiled and was charmed. We texted all through the morning. And in the afternoon - he sent me a photo text....

of his semi-aroused member... in his work bathroom.

Not kidding.

Charm dead... as Liz Lemon would say, "That's a DEAL BREAKER LADIES!"

So, I told this to The Godfather and he rolls his eyes and is vastly amused and proceeds to let all the people know at the party; most of whom are now married and parental units to the darling babies.

And I get showered with, "WOW!" and "You poor thing!" and... "Where do you find these guys?!"

Where DO I find these guys?

Online dating.

Which brings us to:

Resolution #1: I'm taking a break from dating until Sundress Season. I'm always more flirty in the warmer months.

The death knell for online dating came on Saturday. I got a message from a "not unattractive" guy. The text in the message merely said, "I'd hit that!"

For Realsies? That is your idea of charming, Internet boy?

Yes, this morning I took action on my resolution. I disabled all my online dating accounts, and posted publicly on my facebook that I'm taking a BREAK from all the nonsense.

Next, let's talk about Christmas: I went to my Mom's house for the holiday - including spending the night, being there in the morning - staying for dinner, etc for the first time in 15 years. I know, that's a long time.

But she and I are getting along much better these days - and I wanted to go :). She was great. She liked all the stuff I gave her/made her. And she got me some awesome stuff - I'd list it - but I don't want to make you all jealous. *wink*.

And it was good to spend time with my baby sisters. I have not done that - especially with both of them together in a long, long time either.

Here is what I found, "KJ" is a bully to her baby sister, lol. And... to my horror - while she is smart, and funny, and sweet - she is also horrifically materialistic. AND - a terrible sport when playing games.

"CJ" might post morose facebook statuses from time to time - but she's not that way in person. And we actually have a lot more in common than I first thought. She's a total geek - and I LOVE that about her.

We watched the Dr. Who Christmas Special together - and her enthusiasm for it was ADORABLE. I love this geeky side of her that loves sci-fi and fantasy and loves to read, and likes quirky t-shirts.

She does, however, think that the gushy-I-Love-My-Baby-Sisters-So-Much-I-Just-Want-To-Hug-You-and-kiss-your-cheeks-and-ooh-let-me-take-your-picture!-side of me is weird. She had little patience for it - which just made me want to do it all the more, lol :)

It was fun.

Which brings us to:

Resolution #2: Spend more time with baby sisters.

Which won't be hard since KJ is coming to live with me for four months. She's got an internship downtown. Saints preserve me. I hope this doesn't destroy our relationship.

However, Mrs. Love-Dove and I have determined that we will use this four months constructively with my baby sister.

We plan to temper the sore-loser-ness and the rampant materialism. And when she is being ridiculous - we won't hold back our laughter - we're going to let it loose. We're not going to spare her feelings on that front.

I've also given her a long list of rules to abide by in the big sister abode.

1.) Don't use my DVR - if I see any Real Housewives of anywhere on there - blood will be shed.
2.) You'll do MORE than your share of the housework.
3.) You'll help out with Piper.
4.) No sneaky eating. (the last time she was here, she snuck chocolate out of my freezer).
5.) My social life is my social life - not yours. (I mean, I'll invite her to do some things - but not all things).
6.) My House: My Music - there will be no Kesha in my house - I will be Keshamed* of her if exposed to such a disgusting imitation of music. (Phrase coined on 2 Broke Girls)
7.) No people in my house. No guests, no friends from out of town: I don't want to see people in my apartment. (I know, bitchy right!? lol)
8.) If I start to hate you - you move out. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my baby sister - I want to continue to do so.

I'm just not so good with roommates. I'm more into men I can get naked sharing my space than... well... roommates who prevent me from being without pants.

I really like it when "pants-time" is over. And you have to be appropriately covered when roommates are traipsing about the apartment - or could walk in at any time... annoying.

CJ will be harder to spend more time with. But I'm going to try to get to her show this semester. I just have to know when it is going to be held. I've never seen her perform before and it's something she really loves.

Let's see... what else do we want to do this year.

Oh yeah: the same as everyone else - lose more weight - save more money, be more organized... :)

Anywho - what about you? Got any good resolutions you want to share?

Hugs!

Hermity Weekend for the WIN!

2011-11-11T10:25:00.001-05:00

Forewarned is forearmed: This is one of the more introspective posts and less funny posts.

So, there I was, looking at my calendar, and I realized that this upcoming weekend is going to be low key. Not much planned. No big parties. All I have planned is a little football gathering on Sunday night.

Which leaves the rest of the weekend to me and me alone....

And the realization of this was..... EUPHORIC!

There I was, realizing that I didn't have to go to any parties, attend any shows, endure any elimination round dates, or do anything other than precisely what *I* want to do. :)

I haven't had one of these weekends in the longest time. I honestly cannot remember exactly when I had a weekend to do my hermity thing and just relax and gather into myself and process things in silence and solitude.

It had to have been the beginning of Summer. Everything since June has been a blur. I have been crazy busy. I've been to Buffalo to see family, I've gone to Kansas for business, I went to Dragon*Con, been to fun festivals, gone to countless parties, and just hopped skipped and jumped my way from one event to another. October, in particular, was packed full of fun.

Don't get me wrong, I had a fabulous time. I love hanging out with the very special and amazing people I call my friends. But, a girl needs some time to be all alone sometimes!

Silence and solitude are the most underrated things to do with your free time, in our culture. Our culture needs a time out sometimes.

Seriously, the world is an overwhelming place. And the American culture in particular can have too great an emphasis on "being awesome": Having awesome things, wearing awesome clothes, having awesome hair, driving an awesome car, eating at awesome restaurants, seeing the latest awesome movie, having awesome hobbies, reading the latest awesome book, watching the newest awesome shows, going to awesome parties, and being PERCEIVED by OTHERS as awesome.

Sometimes, I get a little weary of being awesome.

I'm not as interested in being awesome as all that might seem. My friends are awesome. And they are at their most awesome when they are wearing their most comfy clothes, hanging out at home, with our dogs shedding their fur on us, eating a nice, cheap meal, while playing games that most people haven't even heard of. To me: that's an awesome night.

Think about all the "awesome" things you do - and then think about what a perfect night is. Is it going to an awesome hot spot in the city, spending money, and catering to other people's perceptions? Or is it chilling with your bestie, just laughing? Or curling up with a good book, with some old-school music playing in the back ground? Or just sitting with a cute kid, coloring in a coloring book?

I think (again), that our culture spends too much time focusing on things that aren't intrinsically "important". We are oftentimes more worried about the perception others have of us than what perception we have of ourselves.

Really, what is more important, having someone think you are awesome, or feeling that you are awesome? Is it up to other people to determine your awesome quotient?

I'm reminded of an Eleanor Roosevelt quote, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

There are more applications to that quote than just people putting you down. Think about it, roll it around in your brain like clay in your hands. Knead the thought, flatten it out, ball it up, stretch it out....see what all shapes it makes.

When I do that, I feel that the quote has more to do with letting go of the need for others approval and seeking out your own approval.

How can I be proud of me? What do I want to be, feel, experience that only *I* can give myself? Do I really need to rely on anyone else besides myself (and of course God) to be that person I can be proud of?

When I think of the things I want out of life, so much of it seems dependent on finding my special someone. I really want someone to wake up next to (besides my Pomeranian, Piper). I want someone to celebrate holidays with, to cook for, to have my own family with - someone to take care of and someone who takes care of me.

And that's all dependent on this person who God is still getting ready for me.

But, what else can *I* do to get ready for him? What work do I still have to do on me to be ready for him.

I guess some of those things I can only work out through prayer and more introspection. But I really do think that having the occasional hermit weekend like I'm about to have is essential to the process.

Without time for silence and solitude, how can I properly reflect on life and myself, my relationships, my relationship with God - all that stuff?

Maybe that's one reason I love the Monastery so much - when you go there it really FORCES you to do these things, with no distractions. It helps you to process things in your life in a truly silent environment. (Which is amazing - and you don't have to be Catholic, Monks are cool like that)

One of the hardest things I've observed in myself (and sometimes others) is an inability to process pain and free yourself from that pain. (aka Letting go)

I think silence and solitude is essential. I mean, sure, sometimes you just really need to swim in the wallowing pool. I think that I've gotten pretty good at getting out of that pool before my fingers get all pruny. But, I've only been able to do that with proper time for reflection.

You really do have to treat your thoughts and feelings like clay sometimes. Because, if you don't, then you won't be able to shape them into forms that you understand, can identify and deal with.

After a few years of this introspective stuff I have really come to realize that what happens to me is just 10% of who I am. What matters is how I respond to it, how I deal with it, how I decide to think about it. Acceptance of the crap is harder than acceptance of the happy.

But if you don't accept the crap along with the happy (and move past it), it can start to define who you are. And do we really want the crappy things in our life to define us? To weigh us down, so we can't move forward on our journeys?

I, for one, definitely want to keep moving forward on my journey. Because I know that good things are waiting for me on that road. Often, even better things than I can imagine.

Reflecting on good things my journey has brought me: the Love-Doves for one - they are amazing friends to me. I know it sounds weird - but knitting. Knitting has been amazing for me - it is something I can be passionate about, something productive I do - and it helps me be a more patient person. I have a pack of awesome sisters.

I mean, really, we could go on all day long listing the blessings in our lives.

I think the key is seeing the blessings - the happy's through the crappier things. Sure, your boss may be a jerk (mine isn't... blessing!), but you have a job! You may not have enough cash to eat at the best restaurants, but slices of amazing pizza are usually still just two bucks! You may not have your special someone yet - but people do love you. Seriously - there are people who love you. And if you are ever in doubt - remember that GOD always does. :) He's cool like that.

Well, this has definitely been a trademark stream of consciousness post of mine, lol.

So, I guess I'll wrap up by saying that I'm super stoked to have a weekend to myself to just hang out, do chores, knit, watch movies, walk my dog, and be inside my own thoughts. And I hope YOU get the opportunity to do the same soon! :)

Toodles!

Busy Girl Update

2011-11-08T12:25:00.000-05:00

Let's see... let's play catch-up before I head into the latest stories for your amusement. I have been a very busy girl. But, I've also been having lots of good times! :)

Last week was my BIRTHDAY! I had fun with my amazing, awesome friends :)

Got some really cute cards. My mom sent me a little form pad to fill out called "rate-a-date". I kind of had a moment there, thinking, "... my mom reads my blog..." Then, I started thinking about all the stuff on this blog. And then, I had to STOP before I went insane. And resolved to just keep writing the way I always have. "Cuz, that's how I do." *wink*

I got some really cool mixed-cd's from my friends. Who are all well represented by their cool music :). And we also went painting for my birthday. My friends are ARTISTS! Here's a group shot of our works in progress:

I kind of loved mine without the flowers on it:

We painted Dogwood Branches. My little dogwood had a few too many flowers. And thus, my painting was dubbed "the fertile bush". You know that got many interesting comments on facebook.

Here is my "masterpiece"

I will be painting again later this month. More pink flowers of some variety. :)

Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn't mention how "Jack" showed up in costume to my Birthday - he was dressed like a Creepy Old Man... complete with the hard candy, and looks at me and says, "Do you want some candy little girl?"

It was pretty hilarious. But he didn't paint (lame)... because he thought painting is "lame". No, Mr. Night Nibbler, painting is NOT lame - not painting is Lame *wink*. (you know I love you, lol)

Anyway, that was my Friday night that weekend. The next night, I went to a pretty awesome Halloween party.

I wore my pirate-y corset costume again. I needed Jack to lace up the corset for me. So, off I went to meet him... at a Mexican Restaurant.

Yeah - there we were, in the middle of a Mexican Restaurant lacing up my corset. No one seemed to even notice, or care. It was one of the more bizarre things I've done in my time, lol.

Then, somewhere between the restaurant and the party, my back laces came undone. NO. BUENO.

Mrs. Love-Dove says, and I agree, to never let a tiny, skinny chick set the back laces on your corset. My corset isn't just any corset - it's a steel boned, Casta Diva corset. This is the real deal, party people.

Two of my party-going friends laced me up again. And let me tell you - they: LACED. ME. UP! There was no room for anything else, but me, in that corset when they were done. Therefore, no, there was no getting drunk at the fabulous Halloween Party. I couldn't even drink water without my stomach saying "no room down here!!!"

Therefore, I was not drunk enough for all the drunken women (yes, WOMEN), touching my boobs. Sure, "the girls" looked pretty amazing in the corset (that's the whole point of a corset). But, seriously. I need to be somewhat intoxicated to be okay with that type of thing. Seriously.

Sorry, no photo for you.

Okay - now to what I've been all excited about this week. This past weekend, I participated in my very first craft fair! I took my handmade ornaments down to a local Lutheran Church. And even though the crowd was sort of abysmal, I still made a profit!

I am definitely going to be doing this again soon. Not sure where or when. But, you know what I say: Support your Local Artists! :)

My needle felted balls were definitely the best seller. I will need to make a ton more of those. I actually made one that looked sort of like a Despicable Me Minion. Yeah, that one sold before I even finished making it :). A little seven year old boy was kind of in love with it, how could his mom say no? I will definitely be making a few more of those :)

The people were very nice. I did some business in trade (awesome!). And the ladies were so nice. I'd gone out for dinner on Saturday night with the High School Sweethearts (HSS) for his birthday. And the next morning, one of the other vendors was asking me about my night.

I told her we'd gone to Taco Mac and she was like, oh, are you 21? And I kind of looked at her, and she said, in sotto voice, "fake ID?". Then, I laughed out loud and told her my age. She was in disbelief. Then, kept asking people to guess my age.

Yeah... I loved her. :D

There was only one creepy moment. At the end, this very older, Middle Eastern gentleman insisted on helping me carry things to my car; we're talking mid-sixties. He was kind of smelly, you know - dried sweat smelly. And he gives me his business card telling me to call him if I need help with my car - NO CHARGE and is talking about how pretty I am, and how gorgeous my eyes are, blah, blah, blah.

Then, he asks if I go to that parish - and I'm like, "No, I go to Saint B's". Then, he starts rambling on about how great Catholics are and how he started Catholic. And then comes the big time creepy: He says that maybe, because of me, he will switch to St. B's, that maybe we're meant to know each other. And again starts talking about my beauty. Adding that if I ever need ANYTHING at all, even not things with my car, to call him and he will be there.

I am, at this point, majorly creeped out. It could only have gotten worse if he had offered me some candy. ("Would you like some candy, Little Girl?")

So, that's all of the happenings around here! I hope you are having a lovely Autumn!

Where I Learn to Shoot A Gun

2011-10-28T12:47:00.001-04:00

So, my Love-Doves learned to shoot earlier this year. And have, on occasion, gone down to the local gun club to practice their skillz.

I was curious about their adventures, so yesterday, when Mrs. Love-Dove IM'd me, "Hey! We are going to the gun club tonight, you should come!" I had some errands that needed running - but she volunteered to pick up the cupcakes for tonight's shenanigans - so I said, "Coolio".

And thus, hi-jinks ensued.

I went down there after work. I looked at the man and said, "I have no idea what I am doing."

He was kind of a douche-canoe. He invited me to wait somewhere else in the gun club than in front of his counter... So, instead I waited for for my Love-Doves and their co-worker, the "Bad-Ass-Beauty", while watching people shoot guns. (New nicknamed friend: Yeah, she's really pretty, and smart, and a bad-ass, we love her).

The Bad-Ass-Beauty, aptly, has the most gun experience. When she arrived, we all got our guns.

They shared a 9mm. But, little ol' newbie me, got a little .22 caliber semi-automatic gun. I would say that it was cute (you know, small things are supposed to be cute) but, it was not cute.

It was a GUN - and I don't think there is such a thing as a "cute gun".

Here I am with the gun, none to sure of myself:

But, anyway - the place was packed. And when we went into the gun range proper, Mrs. Love-Dove was having a good time laughing at my jumpy self whenever the guns went off.

Observation #1 at the Gun Range: It is a loud place. In addition to the oh-so-sexy-ear-muffs, I might use ear plugs... if I go again.

So, the .22 was a good choice for me, as it doesn't have much kick back.

The Bad-Ass-Beauty taught me the basics of gun usage. I figured out how to release the clip on my own (I'm a little bit bad-ass too *wink*). She showed me how to load the clip and how to get the first bullet into the chamber. And how to aim.

Observation #2 at the Gun Range: where you aim, isn't necessarily where you hit. I was aiming for the red/heart area, but kept shooting my paper robber in the head.... But, I'm pretty sure that would also stop the robber.

After I'd shot a few rounds - I started to get less jumpy. Mrs. Love-Dove was so proud of me.

The folks at the gun range also made for some interesting people watching. ALL of the employees were packing, on their person. One chick even had her gun in the front of her jeans.

But, with the exception of that initial douche-canoe of an employee - they were all pretty nice.

The patrons were an interesting mixture. But, by and large, they seemed pretty intense.

Observation #3 at the Gun Range: Not a place for the "BE AGGRESSIVE! BE! BE! AGGRESSIVE!" cheer - they totally don't need that particular cheer.

I didn't suck too badly with the little gun. They did have me try out the 9mm. I found it, more ... aggressive, lol. Additionally, I didn't aim as well with it.

And really, what's more important, accuracy or the size of the hole? I'm thinking that putting a hole in the robber is more important than the size of that hole. And me with a gun should be scary to ANYONE... seriously.

Here we are with our very, very dead paper robbers. :)

Observation #4 from the Gun Range: Shooting guns makes you feel REALLY Republican. I'm a real fence sitter, politically; but, seriously, you shoot a gun in a gun range, and before you know it you'll be hosting... TEA PARTIES! lol (this is funny because Mrs. Love-Dove and I actually do host a tea party every spring - totally unrelated to the political "tea party people")

Then, of course, we went and ate Mexican food.

In other news, let's see. I went to Dragon*Con in September... I should probably blog something about that - basically, it's like a four day, huge, costume party. And it is AWESOME. It takes place in Downtown Atlanta (like a big ol chunk of downtown). And everywhere you look, there is Geekdom in the extreme.

I played in a Settlers of Catan Tournament (and lost badly - but hey, it was fun). I participated in a Photo Scavenger Hunt - which was also tons of fun; even if I didn't get all the photos (JUST FOUR SHORT!)

There are also tons of celebrities; giving panels on their shows or other geek related topics. Think costume making, physics, Carrie Fisher wrote a book!, Steam Punk, Zombies, Your Favorite Geeky Show Cast Member, etc.

I saw THE LOU FERRIGNO... Awesome. And Wil Wheaton, who is amazing. I heard Jonathan Coulton perform, and Paul & Storm. They are part of the wonderful Wil Wheaton's Wootstock. Both hilarious and awesome. I met a cute boy at Lightspeed dating, and he was who took me to see Jonathan Coulton and Paul & Storm. But he lives far, far away. We shall see if it goes anywhere. He's... special. :)

I wore a corset and got rip-roarin' drunk. Which was amusing for everyone involved. Funny, when you are drunk in a corset, when you remove the corset, you instantly get even more drunk.

So drunk that the cute boy you met at Dragon*Con decides that you won't make it through the upcoming 1:30 am concert and takes you back to your friends to head to sleep. (It is SUCH a good thing I don't get hangovers)

"Jack" got a second nickname... "The Night Nibbler". He and I shared a hotel bed a couple of the nights, and the first time, in the middle of the night, I wake up to him kissing my neck and nibbling my ear - IN HIS SLEEP. He was totally unaware of his sleep-nibbling. It was all very amusing, lol. At least he kept his hands to himself, lol. :) AND.... he did NOT lick me. So, all is well.

I took up painting. So far, so FUN! We are doing it again tonight as part of my Birthday Shenanigans. Yeah, I had a birthday. Not getting any younger. (surprise, surprise).

The boy I met at Dragon*Con came for a visit. He is really smart, and good looking, and funny, and he knows a LOT more about "Geek Culture" than me. We went painting together and he was AWESOME - mine kind of sucked. But his: Awesomesauce.

My friends are making me mixed-cd's for my birthday. It's what I want. I've already collected a couple. I REALLY love popping in a CD and not knowing what is on it and being surprised and delighted by people's choices. Often, things I've never heard before. It's really cool.

And okay - I think that's going to wrap up my stream of consciousness, catching you up blog post :)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! (and Happy Birthday to ME!)

Hermit time followed by a little Soapbox Time

2011-08-29T16:32:00.001-04:00

Every now and again I do something I like to call "Hermiting" - this is where I institute a very low-key weekend. Free from social demands, and even any kinds of demands on myself. I give myself permission to do exactly what I want to do - when I want to do it - with as little social interaction as possible.

And it is AWESOME.

I spent some time with the monks down at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Conyers, GA a couple of years ago. And one of the things they teach you about monastic life is one of balance.

They teach that life is like a wheel - and to move forward on the journey of life - y'know - towards Christ and Heaven - you have to have a well balanced wheel or you get stuck in the mud.

Especially in American culture, we put too much emphasis on the work spoke of the wheel. Some of us put too much emphasis on the spoke that deals with being social. But by and large the most neglected spoke on that wheel is the one pertaining to "silence and solitude".

One of the most awesome monks of the 20th century (some say ALL TIME!) was Thomas Merton, and he wrote all kinds of stuff about how important this aspect of our life is. Of course, Monks do just about everything prayerfully. And I wish that I were that cool :). (Monks outscore me on cool in about every category - if you've ever spent time at a Monastery - you totally know what I mean).

So - when life starts to beat me down a little - I know that I'm due for some of my hermit time. :)

I'd had a terrible, awful, no-good, very bad week. Work was stressful. Boys were stressful. I had some family stuff. And I definitely wasn't feeling like I was sailing on smooth waters. So, Hermit time is just what I did this past weekend. I was also pet sitting again for the fabulous foursome of: Jasmine, Kiss, Nod & Dexter. So, I spent the vast majority of the weekend with them. Their pappa is always encouraging me to hang out there with the animals - so this time I did.

Fur babies are AWESOME. Sure, Nod is still up to some of his terroristic ways. I came home to this one afternoon after work.

See the water? Nod is still trying to murder poor Dexter in his bowl. The poor fish spent almost the entire time hiding in his fishy-pagoda.

Jasmine thinks she is a lap dog.

My dog, Piper, weighs less than four pounds. Piper is a lap dog. She can hop up on me and walk on me - and it's no bother.

Jasmine is quite a bit larger than my tiny puppy. And when she steps on your stomach - you make unladylike sounds, lol. She is such a sweet baby though. And I think the moments spent cuddling both Piper and Jasmine were my favorite.

Here is Jasmine all laid out next to me on the couch - she is just precious :).

I seem to have gotten the hang of walking with three dogs of varying sizes with three different leashes too. Although, Piper still likes to walk underneath the other dogs, which is very counterproductive to forward movement. (But so cute, lol).

Sunday I kind of eased up on my strict hermity ways - I walked over to a favorite cafe to get some breakfast after walking all the fur babies and feeding them. And then my Love-Doves came over for our usual Sunday night shenanigans.

We played a new Catan game - this one set in America - with railroads, etc. It was fun. Mr. Love-Dove won, of course. I still prefer regular Catan - but this was a neat twist. You won't find me wrinkling my nose if they whip it out at a party.

And we watched another episode of True Blood - we are SO behind on the season, lol. But, that's okay. Something to fill the time until the next season of Game of Thrones comes out? Which seems like an eternity away. But at least we won't have to wait as long for the second season as we have had to wait for new books in the series! (For realsies!)

Anyway - let's see... what else is on my mind... Okay - Soapbox time (brace yourself)

OH - another guy with boyfriend potential told me how awesome I am, and attractive, and blah, blah, blah: I remind him too much of his ex to date.

What. the. F.... Fudge.?

I'm officially putting this whole baggage thing on notice. I realize that you hit the big three-oh and suddenly all the available guys have the big "B" word (baggage, if you weren't paying attention).

And I am understanding of some baggage, but by and large: I am sick and tired of it.

WHY in the H.E.Double.Hockey.Sticks should I be made to suffer for some other girl's screw up?

I mean, really - there were REASONS you were attracted to her, liked her, probably loved her.... why not find those same traits in someone else plus all the awesome that is ME.

OH -and being nurturing is suddenly not a good trait in a woman for some guys? Um.. I only date guys who want to have kids one day - you want to have kids with a woman who isn't nurturing???? What is that about? Last time I checked, being nurturing is a key requirement in the listed skill set for the job requirements for that particular position (the mom position, if you weren't paying attention).

If I could take out a contract on this whole baggage situation, I'd totally be finding some good looking Guido to be my hot, hitman on that mess. MESS being the operative word! Sort out your mess before you get it on other people!!! I don't want your crazy on me - and I don't want your baggage weighing me down!

SO - We are adding a NEW item to the checklist of things to be sure of before asking me out.

1) Like Football

2) Don't Smoke

3) Be age appropriate

4) Don't do drugs or be a drunk

5) Want kids

6) Don't be a douche-canoe

7) BE OVER YOUR EX!!!!!!!!!!!

8) Know how to kiss.... and don't lick me as an alternative to scoring a first kiss.

Seriously.

Stepping off soapbox.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming ;)

The Man With Two Nicknames

2011-08-22T10:28:00.004-04:00

So, you all like these stories and I told it Saturday night at the birthday party for Mr. Love-Dove - and everyone got a good laugh, so I thought I would share it with you.

Friday night, after work, I went out with a new guy. He wanted to take me on a picnic. Sweet, right? I definitely thought so.

He arrives, and he's pretty cute. Good, right? I thought so.

We were going on a picnic by the lake, and he'd asked me to bring games, and I'd brought Piper. I was all set for a lovely date.

And for the most part it was. I cannot tell you the last time a man actually cooked for me. Mr. Big has cooked for me a grand total of four times in the (many) years we dated. Once he made me toast and I told him it was the best toast in the whole, wide world. Positive reinforcement, right?

Anyway - we go on this picnic and he brought grapes and cheese and crackers. And we play some games. And then as it is getting darker, I notice that the park isn't lit.... there are no lights anywhere. yay. And he tries to get the grill started.

Which is how he got his first of two nicknames: The Non-Fire-Starter. He could not get these match light charcoals to light. He had purchased them at the Dollar Tree. Heaven's knows how old they were. Ultimately, I suggested, that he try some kindling in the park. I am a total GIRL about these things. Fire-starting is a man's business. I was thinking tiny twigs or something. He comes back with these thick pieces of wood - I was all ????? - wouldn't it be easier to light smaller things??

He crumbled them a little - it was very dry wood. And then, gets a little of it lit... and then promptly smothers the baby flame with charcoals. This went on and on until he started to listen to my suggestions and soon we had glowing coals to make the hot dogs he'd brought.

You would have been SO proud of me... I didn't even lecture him on the horrors of those chemical filled hot dogs. I just ate two, declined any more, and went home and took a nice supplement to try to counteract all the icky hot dog chemicals. You know there is really only one kind of hot dog I like: AppleGate Farms. They are AH-MAZE-ING. Any other hot dog kind of makes me queasy. My favorite ones are in a blue package - they are kind of stadium style in my opinion. And on a nice whole wheat bun, with that organic relish from Trader Joe's.... ah yeah... now you are talking.

Anywho - enough about my favorite hot dogs... so, we played some more games by flashlight: fun (she says sarcastically). And then, I'm like "Ready to go?" - Because I let him drive and this first date seemed to be dragging on, it was pitch dark out there: not my idea of a good time.

So, we get into his truck and drive back to the meetup spot. And I've got my baby doggie - who is exhausted, and that's a really good excuse. So, we're sitting there and he's trying to keep conversation going. I'm trying to make an exit. he starts rubbing on my shoulders.

Now, people, I am, in general, a very tense person. And tense shoulders do not just exit from shoulder rubs. So, I'm letting him do this - and then... it got weird. He started running his palm over my face. I was like (in my head) "For realsies?".... and he keeps on and I'm trying to not laugh. Because it was so. freaking. funny.

I can tell he wants to kiss me. But, I'm not feeling it. I don't just kiss guys for the sake of kissing them. In an effort to get out of the car and go home, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, leaned away and opened the door to the car. Which, in my world is a definite communication of "no kissing for you!".

He follows me out - to "walk me to my car". Still trying to get those coveted kisses.

So, we are standing in the parking lot and I am trying my best to leave. Piper did her part. She squatted and peed in the parking lot, a clear signal of... c'mon now, Momma - let's go.

He's still trying to keep conversation going. He had brought almond Hershey's kisses on the date. Which I did not want. So, he asks me what kind of kisses I do like. I replied, matter-of-factly, "Dark Chocolate". To which he replies, "What *other* kinds of *kisses* do you like?" - in a very smarmy voice.

I'm thinking: "how the hell do I answer that - I want to get away!" I say, "Kisses on the cheek." Thinking, "okay - he'll kiss me on the cheek; then I can leave"

So, he kisses my cheek, and I say okay - and he gives me a hug, so tight I think he's trying to squeeze water out of me. Thank goodness I didn't have to use the restroom!

And he kisses my cheek again - but isn't letting me go. I pat his chest in a "okay - thanks, let me go" type of motion. But he's NOT LETTING ME GO. And he proceeds to kiss on my ear and neck - and he's not letting me go.

At this point, I'm strongly considering calling over one of the numerous cops that keeps going into the Starbucks. (Cops love their coffee).

And then....

He licked me.

And that's how he got his second nickname, "The Neck-Licker".

Now, I fully realize that when I go out on a date that I look very yummy - but, gentleman... rarely is it appropriate to taste me. And NEVER on a first date. And, remember the recent post on kissing? Location, Location, Location: NEVER in a parking lot.

And yeah: Let's add another rule to the kissing book. DO NOT LICK YOUR DATE! And I cannot stress that enough.

It's gross.

There is a time and a place for *those* kinds of kisses. And a first date, when you haven't even scored an actual kiss, in a parking lot, is NOT the time or place for a licking kind of kiss.

BLEH, *shudder of disgust*

Sigh.... I go out with some of the weirdest guys in Atlanta. This one wasn't even bad looking. He was attractive, employed, nice - but DUDE... licking? That's like an automatic deal breaker right there.

Of course, after telling this story to the assembled friends at Mr. Love-Dove's party, they all thought it was hilarious.

And at the end of the night - when I hugged our friend Jack and kissed him on the cheek, yes - Mr. Funny Pants, took the opportunity to lick me. I got him back though - I wiped my face on his shirt. Yeah - lol - it was pretty funny.

But, it's not all frogs, my friends: We do have a contender for Prince-hood in the ranks. But, that's still a developing story.

Toodles!

Color me.... Happy!

2011-08-15T14:21:00.004-04:00

Sometimes a girl just needs a change.

Those changes can range from small things to big things.

Something small would be, a new nail color.

Something big would be, a new city.

Something right in the middle is a new hair cut or color.

I needed a change - nothing too drastic - but something somewhat drastic was percolating on the horizon.

I wanted to change my hair - but I'm trying to grow it out - so a major change in length wasn't in the cards. And I didn't want to go blonde again so soon - after all, I'd been blonde for years before I went brunette, and then back to my natural color.

But... I've never been a redhead....

So, I mentioned it in passing as a thought bubble bouncing about my brain... which brings me to Saturday.

I didn't really have plans - at least nothing I wanted to do.. so my Love-Doves had me over for dinner. Papa-Love-Dove was in town visiting as well. We had a lovely dinner, prepared by the wonderful Mrs. Love-Dove...

Then we played Rummikub - which I won (WOOT!!) (Seriously, it's a fun game, you should check it out)

And Mrs. Love-Dove was all... are you serious about the red hair thing... I replied, "Maybe". She suggested we BOTH do it. And I was like - HECK YEAH!

So, we tossed around the idea of both doing it sometime in the next week.

And it being a hot, Summer night - we all piled in the car to go get some delicious Bruster's ice cream. Having given up Chocolate for the weekend in sacrifice for someone's retreat experience, I switched it up to banana cream pie ice cream. Which, while not AS delightful as the chocolate raspberry truffle, was pretty darn good :).

And then.... we stopped at Target because Mrs. Love-Dove and I decided to go ahead and do it right then, to ensure neither of us chickened out.

I think I'm getting to be more spontaneous in my "old age", (lol - does this mean I'll take up cliff diving in my forties?!)

Anywho - I digress. I picked out the Feria #56 box - and Mrs. Love-Dove went with the more extreme #66.

Then, we hied ourselves upstairs and got busy dyeing our hair. This was a FIRST for me - I've never dyed my own hair - AND I'd certainly never gone red.

It was Hella-fun. Everyone should try it a time or two! And doing it with a good friend, certainly doubled the fun! She joked that if someone got their toenails painted, it'd be a proper slumber party - I offered up Pappa-Love-Dove's toes - but he declined. (le'sigh, lol - that would have been hilarious).

I am VERY happy with the results. I tried to take some pictures of myself to show off the red- but this is the best I could get :)

Here's one where I don't look like my puppy died, lol

Mrs. Love-Dove's was a different shade of red - very, very fun - hers came out kind of brighter, and looks awesome in bright light - kind of almost metallic red. VERY punk-sheik.

I don't have a photo of that though :).

Anywho - now that we are redheads - we are kind of feeling the urge to do something zany. Perhaps I can interest you in some vitameatavegemin?

I also need to practice my redheaded sassy looks ;) That's right - I'm winking at you *eyebrow waggle*

The men in my office are hysterical - it took them FOREVER this morning to comment/notice it. Working with men is usually pretty awesome, until you get a haircut or new color - then you just want to go around with a nerf mallet bopping in their oblivious heads! :) Love them though, they are great.

Well, that's all I have to say about that - you may now return to your regularly scheduled programming!

Kiss like a Prince, Not like a Frog

2011-08-10T15:59:00.001-04:00

I know you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince..... but do they all have to be such bad kissers?

I've been on one of my "dating sprees" lately. You meet a guy - you see if there is chemistry - if there is enough, he'll kiss you before the end of the first or at least the second date.

This is okay. This might even be encouraged.

But, PLEASE, help me out - don't make it an experience I have to suffer through. Make it fun. I absolutely adore kissing. One might say it's one of my favorite hobbies. But bad kissing just makes me sigh in frustration, as I go home to scrub my face clean, and lament about what could have been great, was just... gross.

Here are some helpful hints to make kissing a process that everyone can enjoy.

Kissing is like dancing. The man takes the lead. You set the tone, you set the pace, you are the man... grunt, grunt, grunt... (don't grunt while you are kissing me - I was just trying to get you into the spirit of being in charge). So, by all means, initiate the kiss. But initiate it as an invitation. Then, wait for me to accept it before you proceed. Women will let you know that they are into the kiss by leaning in, parting their lips, you know... kissing you back.
Float like a butterfly... don't sting like a bee. Come in for your first kiss, the beginning, like a butterfly landing on a tasty flower bud. Land lightly, my friend, if you want to taste the nectar.
Like I said, no stinging - by this I mean, don't thrust at me with that tongue of yours. Forceful movements of any kind in a first kiss, or at the beginning of kissing is just not.... welcome. Not at all. We women want to feel like we are being drawn into a spell of chemistry, let the perfume of your kiss settle around us in a magical haze. What we do NOT want is to feel like we are being assaulted by your kisses. (Maybe later, but not now.)
Keep your spit to yourself. Do not slobber all over my face. The first impulse I have after kissing you shouldn't be the urge to go wash my face, vigorously. Here... you men are visual creatures - here's a diagram.

Do not use force at all. Don't force your tongue in my mouth. Don't forcibly turn my head to get to my lips. This goes back to the invitation. If I'm not looking at you try one of the following suggestions: Kiss my cheek, ear, brush my hair aside and kiss my jaw line, or if you are really bold, my neck. If a woman is into it, she'll turn towards you. If not, she'll lean away. If I lean away - please stop. Please, I beg you.
When you are ready to add a little French flavor to your kisses, again, issue an invitation. You know what I mean, right? Run your tongue, lightly (not messily) along the seam of my lips. Maybe draw my lower lip briefly into your mouth for a little tug. And don't go all commando in there if I do open my mouth. A little stroking of tongues is nice. Running your tongue all over my teeth is weird. And don't go too deep into that kiss. There is a time and a place for that kind of kiss, mister; and a first kiss is not that time.
Keep your hands respectful, Buddy. This is a first kiss. I am a LADY, my friend. Would you want some guy groping your sister on a first date? No, so don't grope at me please. Basically, if a bikini covers it - you shouldn't be touching it during a first kiss, or in the first few minutes of initiating a kiss with your sweetie. A kiss is a seduction. And good seduction takes time to execute properly. Again, you are a visual creature - here is another diagram to help you out.

Finally, and this is important: Please, for the love of Pete: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. It's important in real estate, and it's important here as well. Do not try kissing me in a public place. You can hold my hand. You can kiss my cheek. You can put your arm around me. You might even whisper in my ear. But private time should be in a private place; thank you very much.

So... I debated a long time on whether I should write this blog. After all, I DO want men to keep kissing me, lol. I want them to lean in, cast that good chemistry spell over me, and make me want longer, deeper kisses in the future. And I know it can happen - I HAVE been kissed senseless before. And I know that there is someone out there who will kiss me and I will lose all rational thought.

I *am* willing, with a nice prince, to sit on his lap and teach him how to kiss properly. But, I must tell you, I sure hope I don't have to; I want him to come to me with that skill in place.

Anywho. :) Have a wonderful day!

Apparently, I'm a screamer... But First: Adventures in Pet sitting!

2011-08-08T13:20:00.002-04:00

So, I've been pet sitting for my co-worker who went on a cruise. He and his girlfriend have two dogs, a cat, and a fish. (Jasmine, Kiss, Nod, and Dexter)

Piper LOVES it over there. There are all kinds of play-mates. Piper LOVES the cat too. Nod doesn't seem to mind Piper too much either. They kind of play a little, with Nod swatting at Piper and Piper trying to jump on Nod and give him kisses.

They definitely make me feel loved - all of them follow me around the apartment. When I check the apartment for accidents, all four follow me. When I prepare the food, you know they are there, but when I go back into the living room, they all gather around me. Even Dexter will come out of his hidey-hole to say hello when I come up to the fish bowl. He's a good little fishy.

Nod, however, does not like the fish. Nod has been plotting nefarious deeds against poor Dexter I catch him staring at the fish bowl, tail swishing back and forth, an intent look on his face, and then "WAP!" his paw goes into the fish bowl, Dexter speed-swims into his pagoda, and I fuss at Nod.

Then, one evening I came in after work, and the fish's food canister was on the floor, all chewed up. Nod had enlisted the adorable Jasmine-pooch into his murderous conspiracy.

But I had their number, I fussed at them both, and shook the canister at them - and got more fish food from PetSmart. Poor little Dexter-fish - having to hide in his little fishy-pagoda from the big-bad-monster-kitty.

I've hidden the new food in the desk so that Nod cannot repeat his performance.

Nod has been on a tear of no-good this time, lol. Nod is a big boy kitty - and very pretty, and soft. :) But, I've had to hide their laundry basket, close off the bathroom, and keep a watch over the dog's food while Jasmine's enzymes set in so Nod wouldn't eat Kiss's food. Silly kitty. It's a good thing he's such a pretty-kitty.

Then, last night - I'd gone over late (in my jammies, lol) to take the pooch's out one last time before bed - and to take over today's lunch, etc so I wouldn't forget it (we all know how prone to forgetting things I am). And they were perfect little angels.

I'm pretty sure Nod has, at least temporarily, given up his quest to murder Dexter in his bowl. And everyone did their business in an easy to retrieve spot, close to trash cans, and quickly.

And Piper and I drive home, past midnight. It was later than I'd intended - but I can't help but give the fur-babies some love before I go.

I pull into my parking lot and there is a teenage kid coming up from the side of the building and he takes off running across the lot.

That's not at all suspicious... right? I'm like, maybe he's athletic and is eager to get home.

So, Piper and I mosey down the path and start down the stairs to my place, and we are almost to the bottom when out of NOWHERE, a second teenage boy, comes hurtling out of the pitch dark, scaring the ever loving crap out of me.

I screamed.

Loudly.

Very. Loudly. Like... I might have woken the dead, loudly. I'm surprised no neighbors came outside. Actually, in retrospect, I'm kind of pissed no neighbors came out to investigate - I screamed loud enough to wake up a city block!

I startled the hell out of the poor kid - Piper started barking, and he picked her up and she started to wag her tail and he's all "I'm so sorry to scare you!"

I reply, "Well, people popping up out of nowhere in the pitch dark is kind of scary!" Piper by now is squirming for love - and he's like "Ohhhh... she's so cute, she knows I'm not bad!"

Sigh. I then replied, "well, try not to scare anyone else, have a good night".... he apologized about three more times and I went inside.(I think those boys were playing midnight hide and go seek... sigh... Teenage boys.)

But - I am kind of proud of that scream. I have a lot of nightmares; I mean a LOT. And, often, in my dreams I am SO petrified, that I want to scream, but my throat closes up, and my lungs lock up and I can't get any noise out.

So, I've always had this worry that in real life - faced with a villain - I wouldn't be able to scream.

Last night, I learned that I can indeed let loose a horror movie worthy shriek when scared!

Apparently.... I'm a screamer (and a good one at that)! Good to know!

Just a little thought for you....

2011-08-05T11:10:00.000-04:00

This is one of the most awesome things I've read in a while:

We are Christian...

Because we strive to live according to the teachings of Jesus Christ

We are Catholic...

Because we believe in the true presence of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist on our Altar.

We are all God's Children...

Because we live in Jesus who is the way, the Truth and the Life.

The Skeptical German and his theories

2011-08-03T12:19:00.001-04:00

So, Last night was my second date with "The German"... aka. Mr. Skeptic - because he doesn't believe anything I tell him.... so, officially, "The Skeptical German".

First I told him about the barking cat - and he had to google it on his phone before he would believe me.

Then, later on I'm telling him that tiki torches, along with geraniums and citronella plants can keep the mosquitoes at bay so you can sit and/or entertain on your back deck. (apparently also Marigolds!)

So, I started calling him a skeptic. Which he is. 100% Skeptical - I told him he should come to Dragon*Con and I could drop him off at the Skeptic Track and he can be with "his people" - doubting everything, and talking about conspiracy theories.

Then, as it was getting late, I started talking about how I really should get home to my puppy. She'd been alone all day and was lonely. And he made some comment about "old ladies and their lap dogs".

First, I was all - "Are you calling me old? You're older than me, Mister". And he was like, "No, No - not you - but you know what they say about old ladies and their lap dogs".

No - no idea.

Then, he continues with "And the peanut butter jar is never far away".

Still... Drawing a complete blank.

I just stared at him - and he wouldn't elaborate.

And after a few minutes - an old urban legend came to mind.

And I told him he was disgusting. (because seriously, DIS-GUS-TING)

He thought it was funny and persisted that it was true.

And I told him that all the old ladies of the world and their dogs that he was unfairly maligning were going to show up and picket at his house, like PETA outside a makeup factory.

He laughed and kept insisting that older women did this. I told him maybe in Germany - but dude - nowhere else... He still held on to his theory.

Utterly exasperated by the absolute ridiculousness of this claim I blurted out, "HALF the men of the world can't perform that function well - what makes you think that a dog and a jar of peanut butter is going to get the job done?!"

He erupted into laughter. But seriously, it's true. If half of the male members of the most intelligent species on the planet can't figure it out, how is a dog with some peanut butter going to be any better - the gross out factor alone is enough to ruin "the mood". I mean seriously. *shudder* - bleh.

This is when I also discovered he has a strong stubborn streak - as he still held to the assertion that it is true.

I for one, don't believe it.

*I dreamed that I blogged this - so I thought I would in "real life".*

Toodles!

Okay, Okay, Okay: Yes, I'm still alive.

2011-06-27T13:49:00.000-04:00

Yes, I am a bad girl - I haven't written in a while...

Let's see - where to begin?

I got a dog. She is the cutest thing that ever was. She's a "Russian Blue" Pomeranian. She's all black, and I named her Piper. And she is just about six months old now. She is precious. She is my first dog, and it has been an adventure.

She is very smart and a good girl. She's also very tiny - she's still just about three pounds. Which is convenient for carrying her when she decides she is too tired to walk anymore at the park.

I love that she takes after her mommy; in that she is a great sleeper. Sometimes I have to pull her out of her crate to take her outside to do her business. She cracks me up. And I LOVE that she lets me sleep in on the weekends. Sometimes she'll wake me up early to go do her business - but she knows when it is the crack of dawn that it is still bedtime and marches right back to her crate and gets inside. :)

All in all - I love being a puppy-mommy.

On the dating front... Let's see...

There was a guy I went on a great date with... and after the date, we kissed in the parking lot like teenagers. He was interesting, sweet, intelligent, had a good job, and his kisses made my head swim. But then, he made a confession ... he had a vice.

Now, ladies and gentleman, I don't have many deal breakers. But there are some that are resolute.

And with his confession, he earned the moniker: Mr. Mary-Jane. This vice wasn't even a couple of times a year type of thing. This was a daily vice.

People - we are much too old for that nonsense. I was always too old for such nonsense. Nancy Reagan had me at "This is your brain, this is your brain on drugs" Especially as I never liked eating eggs, it had a dramatic impact on my young mind.

Anyway - life is fun and interesting enough without that nonsense. And he said it was to relax. Um... how about yoga, watching a funny show, hell, MAKING OUT! - all of those things are relaxing to me.

So - we moved on. Actually, we took a break from dating after that disaster.

I started again recently. There are three handsome gentleman spread before me like a sumptuous platter, and I hope that one of them is yummy and finds me yummy in return. We shall see.

Dating exclusivity only comes with "defining the relationship" - until then I'm fishing for a prince ;)

Hrmm... Other news... Mrs. Love-Dove's birthday was this past weekend. We did the annual ritual of celebration. I have been teaching her to knit - so I gave her a really cool DPN holder, hand made from an etsy artisan - MadBird I think she calls herself. It had hedgehogs on the outside. Which is her favorite critter, and on the inside: LOVE DOVES!!! I was so thrilled to see she'd made something with that combo. It is precious.

I also gave her some of my stash sock yarn. Which, if you know me, shows how very much I love her.

And why shouldn't I? She is smart, funny, interesting, caring, and is there for me when I need her! She's awesome.

Work is the same... I work at the same place, do the same thing, and have the same thing going on...

We did start something new this past month or so: Cake Day. Each week, someone brings in some kind of dessert and we sit around and socialize for about a half hour. It's nice.

This past week was my turn. I made cookies with Mrs. Love-Dove. We made Ninja cookies - which were cute and funny - but tasted TERRIBLE!!! We also discovered that icing cookies was not a natural talent we had - but it was fun anyway.

And ... when cookie Ninja's attack (the red one was frosted by Mrs. Love Dove)

Since the Ninjas tasted terrible, we went with the backup plan as well and baked those: sugar and spice and everything nice cookies (so named by Mrs. Love-Dove)

Basically, to make them - you just start with a sugar cookie recipe and then throw in some other spices like nutmeg, cinnamon, all spice, etc - until it "looks good" and then we rolled them into balls, and did a little thumb indention and filled the indention with blueberry preserves. I think strawberry or raspberry would have been delightful as well.

Hmm... what else... in April - I went to the RenFest with the Love-Doves for Pirate weekend - it was a lot of fun. I dressed up and it was awesome. I later bought a corset... (but we won't show a photo of that). I love the corset - and it is boobylicious. :)

I hope everyone is doing well! :)

Toodles,
cutesox

America's FAVORITE Blog!

2011-04-25T15:11:00.000-04:00

Mini-Rant-about-to-commence-buckle-your-seat-belt-here-we-go!

My Blog is America's Favorite Blog - YaHuh! It is SO! How do you know it isn't!?!?! I can make those claims if half the products in America can, right?!?!?!?! See... doesn't make much sense, does it?

Okay - Seriously - I was driving to work this morning and on the radio there was an ad for rice. "Mahatma's Rice - America's Favorite Rice! Try some today!".

Well... if it's America's FAVORITE rice - I would already have tried it, wouldn't I? I would have a poster of it on my wall, and shirt emblazoned with the logo, right?

But no. I don't think I could even tell you what color the packaging is on the shelf. It is NOT my favorite rice.

I really like Organic Basmati Rice. And sometimes the very not organic zatarain's New Orleans Style Rice.

What is with every other company declaring their product America's Favorite? Is there some impartial referendum process that I don't know about? Is there a ballot for me to vote on that is surveyed and evaluated by an independent auditing agency?

If we aren't allowed to vote, why are they always arbitrarily telling us what and who our favorites are!?

HELLO! ADVERTISING/PR MACHINE: Be Prepared to back that claim up or shut the heck up!!! (seriously)

One of the classic complaints I have along these lines is the Dallas Cowboys. Yes, the Cowboys, who proclaim themselves "America's Team".

...
...
...
America's team my ASS!

I did NOT vote! Did you vote!? I know, for a fact, that no vote was held.

Furthermore, had I voted, I certainly would not have voted for the Cowboys. I mean - they can't even call themselves "Texans' Team" - because there is a whole team called the Texans!!!

They could call them "The Team Jerry Jones wants you to believe is the best team, so you'll buy more stuff with the star logo on them." or... "The first NFL team to put half naked girls on the field to distract the other players" or even "Team with the most drug convictions in the nineties". Any of those I would support.

But, "America's Team"??? I think NOT.

End-of-Rant-Thanks-for-your-attention-on-this-matter

I like to read: A book report

2011-02-17T14:38:00.001-05:00

I'm just finishing up reading "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo".

I complained bitterly to Mrs. Lovedove that it was soooo boring. And I confess it was horribly boring the first half of the book - just at about 50% it sped up. If it weren't on my Kindle, I likely would have abandoned it as carrying around a paperback of a book I was finding boring, would have annoyed me too much. But, I powered through, and I'm glad I did. So many people are in love with this book - I knew I had to find out why.

The books premise was interesting. I like mysteries as a general rule. I usually can pick out the solution early on in the book. Indeed, my initial suspicions regarding the main plot theme of the first 80% of the book was correct. But, I had abandoned those ideas as the book went on - only to have them realized later.

I seriously doubt the author would have intended for me to have those suspicions when I did - but I totally did. It was occams razor - the simplest explanation is usually the right one. And I lighted on it super early - but, as I said, I did abandon my initial hypotheses while following the investigation through the book. Only much later did I come back to them, and then, not long before the author revealed the secret of the mystery.

A friend mentioned to me that he thought the premise and story line to be "far fetched". As an avid fantasy reader, I don't agree. :) The storyline itself is no more far-fetched than say a Gresham novel, for example.

The author here, though, spent a dastardly long time doing the exposition for the book. And while I do see that his method of unfolding the characters did lend an unexpected depth and insight into the personalities represented, I still think he could have made shorter order of the process and gotten to some "action" a bit sooner.

Reading the book was like the climbing of a hill - you climb and climb and climb up to the precipice of the hill and then you race down the other side. Then, the ground plateaus and you make steady but regular progress through the last 20% of the story.

I can't say I identified with any of the characters represented in the novel. But, I found most of the main characters likable, even if the culture as represented in the book was completely foriegn to me.

I cannot say that it gave a particularly flattering view of Swedish culture or the norms represented therein, at least in my opinion. There were a great many disagreeable characters portrayed in the book. Even the likable characters had major flaws to their personalities that would be harshly viewed in our own American culture.

I would hazard a guess that Swedish culture is much warmer than was evidenced in this book. And I'm sure the family ties are not as filled with venom or even disinterest as all the families represented in the book. My impression of actual Swedes is highly favorable, they seem like a friendly and interesting group of people.

Anywho - that's my opinion; which I'm fairly certain no one cares much about, lol :) And at least I didn't give away any spoilers *wink*

Would I recommend it - yes IF you can get through the first half of the book, with it being painfully slow moving.

Non-Sequitur

2011-02-10T14:11:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday was a very good day.

I woke up and then got ready and drove down to meet a cute man for a first date. We went to a charming restaurant where we ordered brunch. He had breakfast, I had lunch, it was the perfect brunch. :)

He offered to give me tastes of his meal, and took some from my plate as well. I'm a sharer - so this is very appealing to me. After lunch, he was not ready to let go of my company *wink* - so I took him with me to go pottery painting. Being awesome, and a good sport (as well as cute), he tagged along. Not only did he come with me - he even painted pottery.

Yes, I was very impressed. He painted a bud vase, and it was lovely. I was very impressed with his manliness, his good-natured-ness, his cuteness, and of course his intelligence and overall appeal.

He was also good looking - and gave me a lovely parting kiss. One of those kisses, where you go, "Wait, I can still feel that" even after he gets out of the car and is half way down the block. It was lovely.

Afterwards, I went to a birthday gathering. Present were three gorgeous babies. One of whom, the birthday girl's son, took an instant shine to me, I fed him cinnamon applesauce, he grinned at me - and ignored the tiny bite of spinach I put on his plate.

I also held two other babies. One of whom was sick. She was a gorgeous little darling, angelic with her big, expressive brown eyes. And she coughed right into my mouth.

Earlier at lunch, I had boasted that I rarely get sick. And it's true - I rarely get really sick. Usually, it's a day or two and I'm back on my feet and it's no big deal. Outside of the inflamed jaw - I like to think of myself as healthy overall. So, this little cherubic darling coughing in my mouth didn't really phase me.

Sunday - I went to Mr. Boo's house for the Superbowl. Mr. Tennis was there, as were several other friends. One of my favorite - El Perro Loco submitted to my demands for a personalized half time show and he did my favorite rendition of Ice, Ice Baby - acoustic. :) It was lovely.

Not really caring too much for either team, I opted to cheer for the Defense. And often let out a rousing encouragement: "DEFENSE!" All my favorite plays are defensive plays. I love interceptions, sacks, safeties, and defensive touchdowns. This cheering methodology meant that only half of the room liked me at any given point during the game.

The defensive touchdown was really great, I approved, and cheered loudly. I firmly believe it was the DEFENSE who should have been the MVP - but that's just me. GO Big D!

Anyway - Monday morning, I go to work and realize that I'm feeling a little funny. I brew some of my "magic tea" - which is really Traditional Medicinals Gypsy Cold Care Tea. And it let me down. I got worse and worse as the day went on.

I got home at 6:25pm and was asleep by 6:45pm. The next morning, I had a fever and felt like cheerios ground up on the floor beneath a very fat man's heel. Remember the baby who had coughed in my mouth? Yes, that angelic little darling was petri dish of DOOM.

I hurt all over, I was coughing, my LUNGS hurt. I'm serious - it was horrible.

Last night, I still had a fever and was beginning to think that I had the flu. I was starting to lament that my otherwise good immune system was letting me down. Then, my fever broke - and I felt like eating something for the first time, and I went to bed happy - and with a normal temp.

Today, I'm at work. I still sound wretched - even my poor customers are commenting on it when they call in - but my rampant headache is gone, my temperature is normal, I'm not coughing as much, and I'm generally more cheerful.

I decided Chinese food would be good for lunch because hot and sour soup is spicy. And spicy is good for clearing out sinuses. So, I ate my soup and he brought me my lunch and I started to eat it. Then, the waiter comes back and we have this conversation:

Waiter: "You order Mongolian Beef, yes?"

Me: "Yes"

Waiter: "Oh, so sorry, I bring you Mandarin Beef."

Me: *shrug*

Waiter: "But this dish, it's spicy"

Me: *shrug* I have a cold.

Waiter: "But it is *spicy*!"

Me: *arched eyebrow*, "It's fine." *takes another bite*

It really didn't taste any different to me today. It really did not matter. But, I found the conversation funny. It's not like I have an appetite anyway - I just wanted some spicy soup to clear out my sinuses.

Seriously: Sick = no appetite. Here is the shopping list I just made:

1) tissues that don't hurt for home and office

2) bananas

3) applesauce

4) frozen starwberries/bananas in case I decide I hate food again, like yesterday - that smoothie was a good idea.

5).... hmm.... you have, practically, no food in the house, surely there are more things to put on the list? .... you can come up with a fifth item, surely.... can't you... think, think, think... sigh. Applesauce sounds yummy. Did I put tissues? Yep - that's item number one... yawn - I need a nap.

And a nap I shall have - as soon as I get home this evening. I had wanted to go to knit night, but that is just not going to happen. I will be sound asleep before the yarn ladies even wonder where I am.

Toodles!

It's Raining, It's Pouring

2010-11-30T22:46:00.003-05:00

It is pouring in Atlanta today. It's been raining so hard today that traffic was forced to a slower pace, wiper blades are working on overdrive, as everyone hurries, more or less, straight home to get out of the endless, driving rain.

Driving home was not pleasant. The visibility wasn't great, it was slow going, and it seemed to take forever. When I finally got home, the rain was beating down on my car so heavily that I didn't want to leave the safe, cozy confines of my vehicle.

Eventually, my stomach's growling demand for some dinner and my bladder's insistence that it be emptied drove me from my sanctuary.

So, answering my biological demands, I stepped out of my car into that chilly deluge - and lo, it started raining harder. sigh.

I made my way towards my apartment, clutching my huge, rainbow, golf umbrella, which was barely effective in the windblown rain, when I had a thought I wanted to share with you.

The rain is a lot like life.

Some days it rains and rains and when you step outside, the sky is clearer - with the sun breaking through - and you think to yourself, "how lucky am I that the rain let up just in time for me to go outside!!" And you smile towards the sky, happy in the moment.

Then, there are days where the rain comes and comes and when you step outside, it comes down even harder than before - the wet drops pelting you like icy needles, blowing under your umbrella.

And it occurred to me, that my reaction to those weather extremes can be applied to life.

During the times when the rain lessens for you, the universe seems on your side and you can either be thankful for the gift -or- you can feel entitled to the change, like it was just for you - or - you can be a grouch that it had been raining at all.

And when the rain comes down in it's drenching, unrelenting power you can tuck in your chin and plow ahead, and sigh with relief and gratitude when you get inside where it's cozy - or - you can feel like it's a personal attack, - or - you are just the unluckiest person in the world.

The truth is - there's always going to be rain. Even on the prettiest days, there can be a black cloud on the horizon.

That's just life. Sometimes you can lift your face to the breaking sun, and be thankful. You can look for and see the GoOD in life. And when the sky does break open, you can roll with the rain. You tuck your chin and plow ahead towards your destination; stepping carefully, avoiding puddles when possible; confident that you will reach your warm, cozy destination.

On the flip side - you can disregard the good fortune of a dry spell on a rainy day, and only see the puddles along the route. You can curse your luck, curse the rain, let it ruin your day.

And sometimes, that's okay; for a minute or two anyway. But you have to keep moving forward, despite a rain, or a downpour.

It's when you curse the sky but just stand there, getting drenched in your own self pity that there comes a problem.

Those were my thoughts anyway.

I do think it's important to do that one little thing I mentioned - I'm going to repeat it because I think it's important:

See the GoOD in everything!

Because it's there - He's there, if you are looking :)

Have a great sunshiny day, whether it's raining or not!

Life Without Mrs. Love-Dove

2010-11-18T14:26:00.003-05:00

So, Mrs. Love-Dove, my favorite half of the Love-Dove Duo has been out of the country for the last week and a half.

She went on a cruise. It was the Love-Dove Seven Year Anniversary of wedded bliss. They were joined on their journey of Caribbean fun by her parents. Don't ask me exactly where they went, or what stops they made - that is all stuff I'm sure I'll find out when I get the narrative that accompanies my viewing of the splendid photos.

The photos are sure to be splendid. She took four fingerstaches I'd knitted with her. I am very excited to see the cruise-stache photos and to find out if she located and collected the elusive iguana-stache photo she sought.

In the meantime, she left me here, alone, without her.

I did fine for the first week - but Monday, I discovered I missed her lots.

So, it appears I have a one week tolerance for missing my favorite friends.

It has been far less shiny than I anticipated. I mean, I knew that it would be all sad that she was there and I was here; but I was unprepared for the full sucky-ness .

She says many witty things to me that make me laugh. Sometimes so loud my boss peers over our cube partition to give me the stink eye for my random laughing. He doesn't know it's not random, because he was not privy to the hilarious remark that I have just read from Mrs. Love-Dove.

Here is a list of reasons that life is not as shiny-happy without Mrs. Love-Dove as it is with her here:

Severe lack of witty comments for my amusement.
Lack of an appreciative ear for MY amusing comments.
No one to fully sympathize with me when I am displeased.
No one to have my Friday Lunch with... Mr. Jack was SUPPOSED to have lunch with me, but he was LAME and bailed. He failed in his duties.
She's awesome with me when I'm feeling all anxious or irritated. She always makes me laugh instead. You could say Mrs. Love-Dove is a drama-deflater. A very valuable and amazing personality trait, wouldn't you say? (Of course you would, it's awesome).
Speaking of awesome: there's not enough Awesome in the Atlanta Metro Area when the Love-Doves are out of the country. Atlanta is now suffering from a severe Awesome Deficiency (especially because she took her mom with her).
Profound lack of fun in my daily life. I'm not going to lie and say I haven't had any fun while she's been gone these long, long weeks (months, years! - okay - 10 days, but TEN. WHOLE. DAYS! is like, forever... seriously).
Not enough silliness. I require a good, strong dose of silly each and every day. It's the silly things that make life fun and interesting. And it's having enough silly in your life that keeps you young!

Seriously. My poor boss has been exposed to much more of my offbeat humor than he is used to the last week and a half. Now, he does think I'm amusing. But too much of a good thing is still too much. I need Mrs. Love-Dove back so when something truly silly comes to mind, I can tell her all about it. And we will laugh, and that is good.

And I miss having someone who tells me all about their stuff. Like day to day stuff, like about her dogs being sweet or doing something stupid; or what things her nieces have gotten into. Or any of the other numerous things she tells me all about. I want to hear all about it - and, sigh... I can't because cruises are like isolation boats from the world. (which I'm sure is cool if you are on a cruise, but not cool, when you are home waiting for someone on a cruise to get back. And they charge exorbitant amounts of money to get on the internet)

I'm having a serious lack of fun and interesting, shiny-happy-awesomeness in my life.

And...

I. AM. OVER. IT!

I was over it two days ago, truth be told. The next time she goes on a cruise, I might stow away in the baggage.

This morning, she texted me that she was in the country. It read, "AMERICA: I AM IN YOU!" Which of course, made me smile really big and laugh - and filled me with happiness. :)

So, tomorrow, all the shiny-happy-awesomeness will be restored. Hopefully, she won't be too bushwhacked from travelling that she feels the need to stay in the house and love on her dogs all day. Friends who missed you need love too!!! :)

TMJ Still Kicking

2010-11-16T21:52:00.000-05:00

So, what's going on with my TMJ? Well, TMJ is a chronic pain thing - so it comes and it goes. I went to the dentist last week.

This irritated my jaw. It was kind of sucktacular at the time - but nothing like yesterday. I woke up with terrible pain... NEVER a good sign.

A friend stopped by for a chat - seeing my car at home. I couldn't talk very loudly, or open my mouth that much while talking. But, it was nice to receive a touch of sympathy.

Mr. Big, love him, but he is NOT good with me when I'm in pain or upset about something. So, I've had to train him recently.

ME: "I'm having a bad day" or "My mouth hurts" or "This (insert random person or event) made me soooo mad!'

So, as Mr. Big has shown to not do well with me when I'm like this - I've programmed him with the following response to this situation...

Mr. Big replies, "You're pretty and I love you."

He's an exceptionally intelligent man. He has learned how well this response serves him.

Anywho - after my friend left after his very short visit - I put on "real pants" (rather than yoga pants) and got ready for work - and went off the acupuncturist.

The Chinese Medical Center is right across the street from where I work (more or less) - I figured if I felt better enough, I could go right over to work.

I was there for a long time - and he used WAY more needles than he normally would. I got my bizarre massage - but I was still in a lot of pain - so I went and got a protein smoothie and went home to rest my mouth.

Today was better than yesterday - thank goodness for acupuncture. Hopefully, I will be pain free for Thanksgiving...

So, for those of you just catching up here is your synopsis for care - according to what works for me.

Sleep on your back
Ice your jaw
Screw Advil - if you need it - go see your doctor for something stronger.
Get a mouth guard from your dentist - not one of those hokey ones from the drug store - it needs to be fit to your mouth.
Actually, sleep with it in your mouth (ON YOUR BACK)
ACUPUNCTURE!!!!!!!!! It is seriously the only thing that works with any kind of effectiveness to get rid of the pain. (seriously try it)

Other things that rock about sleeping on my back: Haven't needed to go the chiropractor since making that change.

Obviously, this isn't a foolproof system. As evidenced by the state of my mouth today. But I blame my dental cleaning.

And remember, sleep on your back.

Oh - and the Love Doves have been out of town for 9 days and I am OVER IT! I miss Mrs. Love-Dove (sigh).

Knit Night Awesomeness

2010-11-09T21:15:00.001-05:00

Tonight one of the super-fabulous yarn ladies taught me the COOLEST thing!!

I was asking if they thought I should cut my yarn and start a new strand at the start of the row, or if I should wait until it gets short and join a new one.

I am knitting a lengthwise linen stitch scarf with Crystal Palace Taos yarn. It's slightly felted and very "sticky" - and more importantly: 100% wool.

So... Ms. More-than-knots suggested I wet felt the yarn ends together!

So - get the yarn ends wet - put them together, overlapping about an inch - and roll together in your palms! Mine took about a minute - the heat in your palms and the friction from rubbing them together will do the job admirably! :)

They suggested spit - but I'm way too girly for that - so I used water - but if you are in a pinch - you can always use your spit. I will not - but I won't think less of you (wink).

It worked AMAZINGLY well!!! Totally impressive new skill :)

I am soooo pleased! Totally solved my little dilemma :)

So - the next time you are using a 100% wool yarn, and have to join a new ball - try wet felting the ends together!!!

You never know what you might learn at knit night! If you haven't been to the knit night at your local luxury yarn store - you should totally check it out! Yarn ladies rock!

Halloween Weekend Adventures

2010-11-01T10:37:00.011-04:00

Good Morning Party People!

Happy All Saints Day!

This past Saturday, I went over to the Honey-Boo's house to participate in their annual pumpkin carving!

It was a perfect day for it. It's one of those days that makes you greatful to live in the South. The weather was in the low Seventies - and the sky was clear and bright. When the weather is like that, one simply has to stop, close their eyes and turn their face up to the sun and smile, happy to be alive and in that moment. :)

So, off I went on my pumpkin carving adventure, I stopped by Whole Foods, and stood in front of their massive pile of pumpkins evaluating them. They had many nicely shaped ones, but the stems on them sucked.

Finally, I chose one, for better or worse, and off I went to the Honey-Boo's. There were many wonderful people in attendance. Indeed, there was a high concentration of awesome on the patio. It was good to spend time with them :)

I've been going to this pumpkin carving event for a few years now. And many of my friends would choose these elaborate designs to carve into their pumpkins. I always opted for the traditional triangle eyes and wide gap toothed smile for my pumpkins.

But, this year, I finally expanded my pumpkin carving skills and chose a design out of the book.

I was mightily pleased with the results:

So, as you can see - not perfect - but I am very happy with my happy little bat :).

So, after this I went home for a while. And.... the funniest thing happened.

First a little back story- I like to think of myself as very independent. That I can handle things myself without a man. I'm not a little girl, I'm a strong, independent woman. I take care of myself and I have for a long time. Some men find this "Scary" but what am I going to do, I am who I am.

So, Friday, I posted something snarky to this effect on facebook. Something like, "Some men find strong, independent women "Scary" - so I'm going as myself for Halloween - I don't NEED a man to kill my spiders, I WANT a man to do it, BOO!"

What is the line about Gods laughing at you? Yeah, the Gods decided to have a good laugh at my expense. :)

Truth be told, I've been a girly-girl about spiders for a long time; never liked them. And it used to be an ordeal.

But, then I bought the handy-dandy, hand held black and decker of death. Since it's acquisition, whenever a spider presents itself inside my apartment, there still might be a small shriek, but I scamper off to get the black and decker of death and suck that spider up to his death (and/or disposal to the outside world).

Well, Saturday, I came home and this GIANT spider was on my door.

ON. MY. DOOR!

Not inside, where the black and decker of death lives, but between me and my handy sidearm of bug execution.

I was on the phone with my baby sister at the time, who is LOVING this exposure of my girly-girl self. She's all "the next time you make a feminist statement on facebook, I'm going to remind you of this."

I was all, "You DON'T UNDERSTAND! I am outside my house and the black and decker of death is INSIDE my house - I NEED A MAN!" She's just cracking up.

I asked her if it made her love me less. She assured me that it makes me more endearing. I'm glad she loves me. I was totally feeling the censure of the universe crushing down upon me for proclaiming I didn't need a man to kill my spiders.

Seriously, people, it was a big spider. So, I go upstairs to find one of my male neighbors. First I knock on the hippopotamus door (they're not fat, just abnormally loud), no one is home. So, I go to the new neighbor's door. He's Indian - and a Hindu - so he wouldn't kill it - but he did shoo it well away from my door.

Admonishing it as it scurried away, that if it didn't keep moving, it would meet with certain death. He was right - if it had come close to me while on the ground, it would have gotten a swift invitation to kiss the bottom of my shoe!

I seriously felt like the Gods were mocking me, lol.

And yes, I can laugh at myself. It is pretty funny.

It just brought to the fore the myriad of reasons that having a significant other is, indeed, needed. A man is needed in my life for much more than cuddling, advice giving, making out, and someone to make me laugh... I also need personal protection from bugs that stand between me and my black and decker of death.

Sigh.

On actual Halloween, first I watched football.

My beloved Buffalo Bills fell to 0-7. I got all excited when the game went into overtime, I went into my closet and got out my Bills Jersey and put it on and sat down to nervously watch overtime. It was PAINFUL to behold.

Despite a valiant effort, they lost... again. sigh.

But, it deters my love not an ounce. I still love them in the squishy parts of my football loving heart. They are still my beloved Buffalo Bills - and I will STILL wear my Bills gear with pride and affection.

TRUE fans Wear their team colors in good times and bad!!!

After watching that heart-crushing loss, I went to the Love-Doves' abode where Mrs. Love-Dove made us amazing home made - from scratch chicken pot pie. It was amazing. The trick-or-treaters were awesome and my new game, Chez Cthulu is very funny. And DEFINITELY made for adults only.... adults who can suspend a bit of their maturity level, lol. :) Very fun.

I hope you had a good Halloween weekend too!!! :)

Hockey Night & Other Adventures

2010-10-30T00:58:00.004-04:00

Hello Party People,

I imagine I will have a very busy weekend - it has already started - it is late at night/early in the morning as I write this :)

I got home not long ago from my first hockey game of the season - my beloved Buffalo Sabres gave it a good fight - but ultimately lost in Sudden Death.

They had the tying goal in the last seconds of the game - I cheered so loudly I think I strained my vocal chords.

I am sad, sigh. I need a comforting hug.

But anywho - after the game - we got on the train to go home.

We went the wrong way.

So, we got off at the next stop - the train took FOREVER to come back.

And it smelled like bologna - pretty gross.

So, Mrs. Love-Dove and I made up a song (to the Oscar Meyer tune)

MY Bologna has a first name it's M-A-R-T-A.
My bologna has a second name it's T-R-A-I-N.
I'd say I'd ride it everyday -
But the smell keeps me away!
Cuz rapid transit has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A.

It's fun to sing :) You know you want to.

The trains were taking FOREVER - and only one rail was open - so it was doubly long.

MARTA is NOT always Smarta, my friends - no it is not.

All in all - it was a rockin' good time.

I worked on my custom order sock while it was there. My knitting goes on most of the adventures I do - I think I'm going to start keeping a photo log of it for my customers :) I think it makes a cute story to go with the product. :)

Happy Halloween People!!

PS - Even though my sweet hockey team lost, I still love them! GO SABRES!

Birthday Adventures 2010

2010-10-29T13:52:00.008-04:00

I celebrated my birthday this week! Happy Birthday to ME!

You know the song, "THEY SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY - It's MY Birthday TOO!" I was all, f-that - it's MY birthday, bitches!! WOOT! lol - I tweeted to that effect too. It amused me. Sorry if that offends, but I was very amused. :)

So, I asked the man who loves me to take me to Asheville to go to the Southeast Animal Fiber Fair (SAFF) so I could buy some yarn.

I Heart YARN!! WOOT!

Anywho.

I did get some yarn. I got some gorgeous Miss Babs yarn which was my favorite treat of the day. And I also got some wool tops to do some needle felting.

(Seriously - if you need some Christmas ornaments, go buy some from my etsy shop. )

I got to pet some animals too. I REALLY wanted to pet an alpaca. But they don't really like being touched. BUT... they would eat out of your hand.

So, there I was... feeding the alpaca whilst sneaking pats of their amazingly soft fur. They'd shy off and look at me like I was crazy - but then I'd stick back out my hand full of alpaca treats, and they'd come back to nibble from my palm, I'd sneak another pat, they'd look at me nutty again... and this continued for about five minutes.

Angora rabbits are much more docile. I want one of those - they are sooooo soft and fluffy!!! One day I will have a house, and pets will become an option... but for now... I will admire from afar. :)

Asheville, is GORGEOUS. I am lame and didn't take pictures... but just imagine being nestled in the mountains mid-Autumn, surrounded by golds, reds, oranges, greens, on a warm, but not too warm day. You just sighed with happiness didn't you? I did!

On the way home, Mr. Big wanted to stop at Whole Foods. I love Whole Foods - but I was also in a hurry to get home. And it was raining. And the parking lot was PACKED - it was all very nose-crinkle-worthy.

FINALLY, I see a lady get into a mini-van and start her car - RIGHT UP FRONT!

Can you say PRINCESS PARKING!?!!? So, I say, "honey, honey - Princess parking! Princess Parking!" while pointing to that cherry spot right by the front door. It's my birthday, I'm a princess, I deserve some princess parking! Right? Right!

So, Mr. Big rolls up - puts on his blinker and we wait patiently for her to back that baby up - and we go to pull in to that sweet spot and some freakin' old dude totally whips into our spot!!!! As we were trying to pull in!!!

What the What!? The NERVE

So, Mr. Big blares the horn. I was also displeased... but I had no horn, so I flipped him off.

Mr. Big frowns on such actions and pushed my hand down out of view.

But in retrospect, I think it's kind of funny when you pair me declaring princess parking and then flipping off the evil old dude and his princess-parking-stealing ways. :)

It amuses me.

ALSO: the Lovedoves got me an excellent present of awesomeness for my b-day. I got a game! Chez Cthulu. WOOT!

Thanks for being awesome Lovedoves!

Tonight we are also going to go to the hockey game. I also heart hockey!!! GO SABRES!

Most Awesome (if you love yarn)

2010-10-26T21:56:00.002-04:00

Saw this on someone's Ravelry Profile and she stole it off of a forum post - and now I'm sharing it with you - I'm not the author - but it's goodness needed sharing.

I like, big, balls and I cannot lie
You other knitters can’t deny
That when a yarn rolls up with a four-ply twist
And a fuzzy thing in your fist
You cast ON
Wanna pull up gauge
Cuz you notice that yarn was sage
Deep in the ball it’s roundin’
I’m hooked and I can’t stop pouncin’
Oh, baby I wanna get wit’ ya
Fondle ya and then I’ll knit ya
LYS done tried to sway me
But that ball you got
Makes me so cray-zay

LOVE :)

Painless Potlucks

2010-10-19T14:56:00.002-04:00

Life in a cubicle farm can be dull and repetitive. You come in, you plop down in your cube, you stare at the same computer screen and the same collection of people day after day. The monotony can get to be mind numbing, and that's putting it mildly.

When this happens, us cube-dwellers tend to become quirky souls, looking for any way to break up the tedium; usually by way of rampant bouts of silliness. And while this amuses us, individually, it doesn't always translate for your co-workers.

But one thing that is universally loved by those of us office workers is the Potluck! (applause from the maddening crowd)

The Potluck promises surprises, as you never know what that sales guy's wife is going to send with him this time, or what horrid dessert-like concoction the lady down the hall might submit providing amusement for a least a week, and if it was made with splenda or other substitute of sugarless torture, perhaps a solid month.

Organizing a potluck though, can be stress inducing. If it is done right, you end up with a variety of dishes, creating a lovely meal (as long as you don't eat the stuff made by that one chick who you never see wash her hands in the ladies' room - don't eat that). If it is done wrong, you get a mess of disorganized emails and perhaps 10 dozen cookies, a cake, and a bottle of diet coke sitting on the conference room table. Where is the veggie tray? The lovely casserole?

The first thing you need to do is DEFINE the potluck.

There are several ways to go with this. The traditional lunch spread is not your only option. You could go a different route. Around Holidays you could just do a cookie/ornament exchange, or opt for the full Holiday feast! Halloween could be a goody bag exchange, a candy exchange, etc.

I once organized a appetizer exchange and everyone brought munchies. There was guacamole, veggie trays, those spiral things with meat and cheese, tiny sandwiches, brownie bites, meatballs in a crock pot - it was delightful.

So - select your theme - and then make a LIST.

Open up Word - pop in a title with some funky fonts, add some appropriate clip art and then - and this is the important part: CATEGORIZE

Say you have ten employees and you are doing a meal - the first thing you do is find out if your boss will buy the meat. If he'll spring for a ham or turkey, you are golden. Then you can set your categories for side dishes, drinks, dessert, salad, bread, etc.

Chances are - if you are the organizer, and your boss won't buy the main course, it's up to you. This happens to me plenty. So, one year when that happened, I decided on taco bar: I brought the meat and made everyone else sign up for all the stuff that goes with it.

Make sure there are only enough lines as you have employees and not too many lines in any one category. Make ONE list - not a series of emails - a PHYSICAL list - and then if it is a small office, pass it around - if it is a LARGE office - post it in the primary break room.

If it is a REALLY large office, make one list for all participating groups and either divide up the categories on department, or divide it evenly and have two lists with half as many lines.

Just be sure to label each list with what departments, etc. are to sign up on that list. Got it? Good.

Don't forget the clip art - it adds a festive touch. And festive touches add excitement to your cause and promote it like you would for any party. When you have posted your list, send an email to tell people where to sign up - and reminding them of the deadline.

Then, send an email the day before and the day of the deadline. Office drones are busy people, or at least some of them are busy organizing their farms on facebook! (burn!) They will appreciate your reminders. If they don't ... push pins on their chairs - no seriously don't do that. (Just dream about it with glee in your heart!)

Put a DEADLINE date on your sign up list to remind them, even though it is in your email. On the deadline day - go harass any douche-canoe who didn't sign up and ask them (sweetly) if they are going to participate. And then wait a day or two and send out the complete list to all participants.

Follow all that up with reminders one week, three days, and the day before. Text any of your fellow employees who you know to have extremely poor memories the night before the potluck. Of course, I work in a small office, my one poor memory guy appreciates my thoughtfulness. (Because I'm awesome *wink).

You have probably realized that I am often the cruise director of the little ship my cube sails on - and it's true. I mentioned a couple of the themes I've done - in addition to holiday feasts, taco day, appetizer smörgåsbord, and cookie exchanges; I've also done Italian day, where I made a lasagna and people brought all the other stuff, BBQ day, Chili-tober, Cinco de Mayo, and that's where my memory stops. But, those ideas should get you started!

I hope this has been helpful to the other cube-dwellers who have been unwittingly roped into the party planning roles. It doesn't have to be stressful - it can be easy and fun. Just be sure to tell all of your fellow employees which chick in the office doesn't wash her hands in the ladies' room.

Happy Planning!

Halloween: Dear Children

2010-10-18T11:17:00.003-04:00

Happy October - which means Halloween is coming!

I thought I would to a little early blog - for the children..

Dear Children of Atlanta,

Do not show up expecting candy if you are not wearing a costume.

Last year, I spent the holiday with the Love-Doves, ~~getting my~~ .. being beaten at the games by Mr. Love Dove, and helping them hand out Halloween Candy to the youngsters who braved the mighty hill they live atop.

(Seriously, it's a big hill)

What astounded me, children, is how many of your small brethren showed up without any attempt at a costume.

They showed up with pillow case in hand, and wearing just whatever.

As I arched my eyebrow and inquired, "Where's your costume, little man?" (usually boys were the culprits, girls being overall more enthusiastic about dressing up) - I'd get a shrug and the pillow case thrust forward in a demand for sugary delight.

Okay - seriously - let's just stop and examine the tradition of Halloween.

You - the children - dress up in cute or scary costumes for us, the adults, to ooh and ah over.

It's not just a tradition - it's more like a contract.

And in the Halloween Candy Exchange Contract there is an implicit requirement that all children be costumed prior to ringing of doorbells and soliciting candy.

Your costumes are the currency you use, to purchase the candy from us, the candy overlords.

Therefore, I declare, that this year, if you show up without a costume, I reserve my right in the costume for candy contract to withhold all candy and instead give you an essay I've written about the traditions of Halloween as well as some of the origins of the spookiest of all holidays.

Perhaps written well enough to give you nightmares about the wall separating the living and the dead being thin enough to admit all the ghosts and ghouls and how I directed them all to YOUR bedroom for the evening.

Yes, that would amuse me.

Alternately, if you let me spray pink hair stuff on you, I'll let you go with a bit of chocolate for your trouble.

That's right - PINK hair....

SO - There you go. Wear a costume if you go trick-or-treating or suffer the consequences. *grin, wink.

Later this week, check out "Halloween: Dear Women" in which we will explore the costume habits of women.

"Special Needs"

2010-10-02T22:23:00.004-04:00

Welcome back, readers - hopefully my internet stalker has given up trying to stalk me and my blog is safe to have public again. Sorry I was gone for a month - but internet stalkers aren't cute.

So - today's theme is going to be, once again, dating. I have blogged about it often and I also talk about with my friends often.

And recently at a lunch with two of my awesome/amazing friends they said something interesting. They said that they don't consider their single friends for me and that they often dismiss immediately as candidates for me because they are sure I won't like them.

Because I have "special needs". I was like, "SAY WHAT!?" -

I quizzed them about this shocking statement and basically it comes down to this: I know myself pretty well. I do spend quite a bit of time in introspection. I know who I am and what I want. And I don't suffer fools well. Wishy washy-ness, indecisive men, a lack of confidence or assertiveness are qualities in a man that I do not find the least bit sexy.

I believe the quote is "you're just not down for that shit". It's true - I'm not down for that shit.

I do have a lot of patience in general - but not with dating men who possess those qualities. Give me a guy like that and I'm not going to have any reluctance about walking away.

I confess - I have a low tolerance for shenanigans.

So - apparently that makes me special needs.

But, I've been out with more than my fair share of douche-canoes. I don't want to waste my time on a man who isn't going to step up to the plate.

Bottom line is that I don't give a whole lot of latitude for ineptitude.

I need a guy who is dependable. I need a guy who is going to do what he says he's going to do when he says he's going to do it.

I FULLY realize that there will be times where that is not possible - but I'm not talking about cancelling a date because of a car accident or family emergency. I'm talking about things like calling when you say you will, keeping promises, not cancelling dates at the last minute.

At the beginning of relationships you have to establish a base line of dependability. Relationships are hard work. When they are amazing, they don't feel like it is. But, you still have to approach a new relationship almost as if it were a new job.

Seriously - would you do anything like not showing up for a meeting at a new job? Would you fail to return phone calls from customers? No, you wouldn't! So, why would you be at all ambivalent towards someone you might want to date?

It seems to be part of the game play of dating to act like you don't care. Which I think is complete bullshit.

It's just pure and utter bullshit to act like you are ambivalent. And if you are ambivalent, then you aren't really interested in a serious relationship.

And if you are not interested in a serious relationship, I want nothing to do with you.

I do really want someone to have a ton of fun with - I love to laugh and I want to spend my life laughing and having fun with a special someone. But I am not looking to JUST have fun with someone.

Why is it so taboo to admit that? It is bizarre to me.

So, apparently my real problem is that I'm too honest. I'm too out there. Okay - I can see that could be overwhelming for people who aren't where I am.

But Uncle Denny is right, the right person for me will be in a similar place in his journey as I am. Mr. Right will appreciate that I know who I am and what I want out of life and relationships.

He'll think I'm awesome - because he will be awesome. And awesome is what we're aiming for *wink.

Anyway, that's what I've got to say about that today :)

Geek is the new Chic (and other ramblings on love and life)

2010-08-27T17:37:00.004-04:00

Happy Friday Party People!!

So, my friends and I often joke how geeky we are - but I think that in my extended group of acquaintances that I'm not considered "un-cool". And we all agree that once you reach a certain age, that all the shine has worn off the surface of the things you thought were "cool" when you were in your teens and early twenties.

We agree that "Geek" is the new "Chic". And I propose that this is a shiny new essential truth.

No longer is it "cool" to throw epic parties until nearly dawn. We still have "epic" parties but you still tend to be in bed well before dawn, lol. And now, when we throw parties, the snacks and quality of the mixed drinks (and jello shots) are infinitely better now than ten years ago.

Much more common are parties centered around movies (or bad movies), games, dinner parties, etc. We, as "grown-ups", seem to seek more intellectual stimulation and humor from our close friends than we might have considered in our early twenties.

Indeed, with a few years of perspective under our belt we see that being considered smart is more important than being considered hot. "Geek" is not necessarily an insult anymore - for many it can be a badge of honor.

In romantic relationships we, of course, want someone we find attractive. My first criteria is always "Someone I want to hang out with" - and my second is "Someone I want to make out with". And, I think that we "geeks" have a much more realistic view of the world when it comes to dating.

That attractiveness, in a person, is more often found in someones personality rather than in their exterior. How often have you thought of someone in your extended group of acquaintances, and said to yourself, "wow, he/she is pretty to look at" but then followed up with something like, he/she, "doesn't have much going on upstairs", "is mean as a snake", or "has more issues than National Geographic"?

Online dating is very much the antithesis of my theory that the importance of a person lies beneath the surface. In the world of online dating our first and primary judgement lies with the photograph. This can be very detrimental, in my opinion, insofar as it is impossible to truly get a sense of another person via a computer screen.

Additionally, I have noticed a tendency in the world of online dating of the participants to want to feel an instant connection with people.

First, a connection via that first email. Then, the phone call to screen out obvious crazies. Lastly, the meeting - where they expect instant chemistry.

It's all 100% a sales pitch. It's like having a job application in your head for the position of boy/girl friend and then judging them for the job based on the qualifications they list. Of course, the people you are viewing, who might be interested in you have no idea what criteria they are being judged on - because it's all subjective.

In real life, typically, you would get to know one another more. Even if it's a stranger you meet while out - your friends, their friends get a look at the other party, talk to each other - there is a mutual feeling out of the crazy factors, intentions, intelligence. Our friends get a good look at us and each other and more often than not - you are introduced by a mutual friend. Which, especially for a woman, puts you much more at ease in the situation. It makes you more likely to act natural - and not like you are being interrogated. You likely know all their basic information, and that's comforting. It's ground that's been covered and you can talk about things that matter to you.

Online dating though manufactures an environment that seeks to replicate this experience by listing much of your personality to be rated and judged by the dating public. Your attractiveness is placed at the top of the list and then more categories are assessed in a calculated, impersonal, cold fashion. Yet, the seekers of love (or just sex) in the world of online dating are still looking for that instant chemistry and deep connection like they've found when meeting in a more organic and less clinical way.

It's almost like we are all looking for a fairy tale in online dating. I joke a lot that I kiss a lot of frogs on my journey to my Prince-like special someone.

But, life is not the movies. The vast majority of couples aren't going to have a "cute meet" followed by chemistry; falling in love all in under 120 minutes.

Love really does start with a basis of friendship, shared interests, similar goals. Psychical attraction wanes. Even love can wane as well. Relationships are more like roller coasters, with peaks and valleys. It's commitment that keeps the car rolling on the tracks - so you can get onto a peak again. Often you aren't even in the same car on those tracks - but you have to keep the car going anyway. The best times are when you are both on a peak at the same time. But you do have to keep on going. Because that's what commitment means.

The concept of "Happily Ever After" is one of the biggest pieces of crap and most horrific of lies that has ever been told - and we are spoon fed it from every direction.

We aren't here to "make each other happy" or to find "happily ever after". Really what we are looking for a partner to go on the journey with. To achieve goals with - and that takes hard work - and again compromise, communication of expectations, and an unending supply of patience with each other. It takes unconditional love too.

The trap so many people fall into is that while love is indeed unconditional, relationships are not. Relationships have a crap-ton of conditions on them. Conditions of fidelity, honesty, and a host of other qualities that are important to us all.

So many people expect to be "happy" in relationships. And sure, sometimes you are - but the times that build relationships, that make them last are the times when you work through a tough time together. The strongest couples I know have struggled through hard times and came out the other end together.

My opinion is that once you enter a couple - you have to truly shed the thinking of the single person. You have to adopt the team mentality. You are a team - you define the goals of the team and you work together, not separately to achieve the goals - as a team, not as individuals. And when times are tough, you face the problem as a team and not as adversaries.

All teams have captains and if you are a traditionalist, like me, that's the guy. You don't share the problems of the team with the rest of the world (read facebook/bulletin boards) because they are not members of the team. Would an NFL team broadcast their inner office squabbles or expose weaknesses in their offense/defense?

Hell no they wouldn't! And neither should yours!

Okay - as so often I do - I've rambled between topics. I'm a stream of consciousness writer -you've been warned before - it happens.

Back to online dating. I think I hate it. But in this world, once you hit ... dun dun dun: *mumbles an age greater than 25, younger than 35* it gets harder to meet new people. Your "going out" friends have settled down, and you are suddenly a single girl without a pack of single girls to "hunt" with. Your hunting grounds of old are no longer desirable hangouts. We don't necessarily want to hang around smoky bars, or loud clubs every Saturday evening. And you find yourself sitting in the living rooms or charming local restaurants having a nice dinner.

Not even in bowling alleys are men ambitious enough to approach you. It's disheartening. All of my female friends here in Atlanta agree. Almost all the newly married couples I know met through church or through a mutual friend. Well - I've been to church outings and have yet to find a guy who is interested or interesting to me. I need someone who won't judge me for sleeping in on a Sunday, or scold me for having three shots in under twenty minutes at a birthday party in a bar, someone who laughs at my sometimes (often) snarky comments, and doesn't think I'm not moral for being honest that making out is one of my favorite hobbies.

So, you turn to the internet, hoping to meet never before seen in your social circle, NEW men - where at least you know that you are going to get a target group of men who are single (or at least claim to be...FROGS!) and looking. And it's true - I have been out with a lot of freaking frogs. Which is what makes me so apprehensive about continuing on this online dating path. I'm very tired of the whole process. But, I've still got hope - and humor - and that's the most important thing *wink*. I know that one day, maybe not today, tomorrow or next week - but ONE DAY I'll find a kick ass, probably geeky, team captain... one day.

Anywho - that's quite enough for a Friday afternoon.

Rock on, Party People.

The Pain Train

2010-08-24T10:18:00.006-04:00

Hello Tuesday - bleh

We've had some bad pain days recently. Those suck. This TMJ (jaw pain) is really driving me bananas. I've had some good days - Saturday was a good day - That was Mr. Love-Dove's Birthday.

I went to a great garage sale in the morning and got enough books to keep me happily reading for probably the rest of the year when you combine it with what I've already got at home.

And then I went on down to the yarn store to visit and ask the guy who works in there a question about a scarf I'm working on. It's a simple pattern but you were supposed to stop at 26" and then do a second piece and knit it the same way and graft the two pieces. I forgot about that and knitted four and a half feet in one direction. Oops!

He was all - just be okay with all the chevrons going in one direction. I let go of my need for it to be "perfect" and accepted my scarf for the way it is. And that's good - that means soon it will be done. And it will be the perfect Fall weight. And blessed-be, it is almost Fall!

I don't think I've been this psyched for Fall to arrive since I lived in Little Rock, Arkansas - which is indeed hotter than Atlanta.

In other crafty news - I did sell a tiny sweater ornament! Not online - but to one of the lovely yarn ladies. And the owner of my favorite shop is going to buy one of my iphone cozies. I have to find the yarn to make the one I have in mind. I made a cursory look for it - but no luck so far. I might have to dump out my whole tub of sock yarn to find it.

I really want to sell one on Etsy - but I'll have to be patient. I need to get more inventory up so people have choices.

Last week, I went to JoAnn's Fabric to peruse their buttons to use with my iPod/iPhone socks. I spent twenty minutes in there, tops. Yet, somehow I walked out with about 20 dollars of awesome buttons... it was like a button buffet of awesome and I couldn't stop myself!

One day, I will sell something - so beloved readers, I give you this incentive - my first five purchases will be shipped out a small surprise gift of ultimate cuteness. What is it you ask? Order something and see!! If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise!

On my shop I can also do some custom orders - do you have a GPS that needs a cover? A blackberry? A small camera? Send me the measurements and the brand/model you have and I'm sure I could whip something up in a few days. The iPod socks do take several hours to make. Maybe five or six hours, I'd guess? So, at 15$ with a fancy button, they really are a steal. :)

Back to the TMJ news - I have been having good days and bad days. My good days are sometimes really good - like on Saturday for Mr. Love-Dove's Birthday Fun Crawl - I had a burger along with everyone else - I just kind of smooshed it as flat as it would go. And had very little pain. It was a good day. I had a little pain but nothing major.

Yesterday though, was a different story.

Mornings are generally my best time of day with the TMJ - I sleep with the stupid mouth guard in, and my mouth has been mostly "still" for several hours.

But yesterday I woke up with some moderate pain - which was no fun. I was late for work. I always know it's bad when I look at my toothbrush with apprehension.

So, I made myself a protein shake and off to work I went. After nine calls, six of them straight in a row - I was rocketing up the pain scale. I did my normal daily work stuff and tried doing breathing exercises to keep the pain down - but it wasn't working.

The "good" pain pills the doctor gave me were calling my name - and I was just so frustrated and the pain going so far up the scale that I was fighting tears too. And that just frustrated me more because I knew crying would cause more jaw pain.

But, sometimes pain is just too much and you cry anyway. I'd been SUCH a good little solider up until that point. But, seriously - this is my sixth week of pain. I think I freaked the hell out of our poor General Manager.

So, home I went - took half of one of the pain pills (they are strong) - put in the awful mouth guard and got into a position on my back in bed and slept for four hours.

I am SO TIRED of pain!!!

... sigh...

I've started calling my TMJ, "The Pain Train" - and it is not a fun trip, my friends.

So, here I sit, at work once more, icing my jaw. Ice is a really good indicator of pain too.

When I'm healthy and not in pain, and you put an ice pack on me I'm like, "HOLY CANNOLIES - THAT'S SO FRACKING COLD!!!"

When I am in pain, such as sprained ankles or in this case, inflamed jaw, I'm more like, "Yeah baby - give some of that icy love!"

The most frustrating part is how a couple of good days in a row gets me so excited and hopeful that the worst of the pain is over. Only to have those hopes come crashing down, ground into the dust by a bad pain day.

I start to dream of raw veggies and all other kinds of foods I can't have but want - like steak, or sandwiches for lunch; anything but soup or pastas. And then, BAM - bad pain day.

It's really astonishing the simple pleasures TMJ steals from you:

Singing in my car
Smiling too widely
All kinds of food - even talking about food. I almost snapped Mr. Big's head off when he asked me what I'd eaten the previous day. Food is not fun or particularly enjoyable these days. The only thing I really like is frozen things like smoothies, frosties, ice cream (without junk in it - no chocolate chips for me).
Sleeping on my side or stomach. I've ALWAYS slept on my side or stomach. And now - because that adds to my pain - I had to figure out a way to keep me on my back. How do I do that? Well, I went to a yoga class at some awesome full on hippie yoga studio and they had these blankets stacked and had you drape your legs over them so you'd be comfortable lying on your back for a long time.... so.... I stack three of my king sized pillows and put my legs over them - and sleep that way. It does actually work most of the time. It has to be three though. When I use two it's easier for me kick the pillows away in my sleep and flip onto my stomach.
Pain also makes you forgetful. I misplace things so easily. And pain makes it super hard to get stuff done around the house. When I'm having a moderate to awful pain day - I just want to sit still.

Also - here are things to not talk to someone with TMJ when they are having a bad pain day:

What caused it? I don't fracking know. As I said before, it feels like someone bitch slapped Bizarro World Stephanie in her dimension and it jacked up my jaw in this one. Or like someone has a voodoo doll of me and has a hand full of pins stuck through my head.
When is it going to get better? If I knew that I'd be a lot less upset and frustrated. Tomorrow will mark the end of the sixth week of pain and start the seventh week. I have no idea when it's going to get better. It's not better now - and my dentist is a douche and I am trying to find a dentist who gives a flying frack.
Asking me about food. Meal times are a trial of endurance for me. On a bad pain day even considering eating causes anxiety. But I HAVE to eat something with my medicine or it will make me sick to my stomach. Milk is my greatest ally. Yesterday when I just couldn't eat anything, I just had a very big glass of milk with my meds.
Talking to me about nutrition. I'm old enough to know that I need my vitamins. On a bad pain day, when eating anything can cause me to rocket up the pain scale, telling me I need to make sure I'm getting vitamins is enough to make me want to scream - but I can't because that would hurt too much. Just so you all know, when I drink my smoothies, a big scoop of protein goes in there as does a big scoop of Green Superfood which is loaded with vitamins. Also, soups generally have a lot of vegetables as well.

So - there you have it - subjects to avoid when I'm having a bad pain day. No, I'm not very fun to be around on one of those days. Would you be? Probably not.

Oh - I didn't finish telling you about Mr. Love-Dove's Birthday. Well, Mrs. Love-Dove is pretty stinkin' awesome. So, we went to the Vortex for burgers. I was having a good pain day - just a little, nothing much. And the Vortex lived up to it's expectations. I didn't get a fancy burger, just a regular one. And with it, the fried zucchini - which was excellent. They give you a lot of zucchini and after the burger, I couldn't eat much of it. But what I had was great. What I could eat, though, was Mr. Tennis's potato salad - and that was amazing.

After the burgers we went to some run down place out in Marietta to play laser tag.

Have you done this? It's awesome!

I don't suck as much as I thought I would at it either - in fact one of the games, I came in third overall! I was pretty proud of myself. No one could touch Mr. Love-Dove in terms of points scored. The man is a laser tag beast! So - laser tag is an over all winner in my book :)

It also made us all sweaty - it was hella-hot in there - and hot outside... so, I wasn't too keen on going to the bar afterwards. A couple of the guys did have shirts in their cars and were glad of it. I freshened up as best I could. They were taking down all the cool Coney Island Night stuff when we got there. I was sad... I'd wanted a sno cone.

But instead I had alcohol. We learned that a "Dirty Girl Scout" is a nasty drink that tastes like antacid. It is important to know. I had a LOT of fun. :) I think Mr. Love-Dove did too. I wanted to ask Mrs. Love-Dove about that yesterday - but I was in too much pain when I did see her online. I'm sure he did though :)

Anyway - I hope you are all having a wonderful week! :) Eat some baby carrots for me.

One-Month-a-versery of TMJD

2010-08-11T09:52:00.005-04:00

Hello Party People!

So - today marks one month of TMJ pain (lock jaw pain)

Yes, it sucks. Just as much as you would think it does.

I figured out what it feels like - it's like I got bitch slapped so hard in another dimension that it fucked up my jaw in this one. I hope Bizzaro-Stephanie is feeling better in her dimension than I am in mine.

So, what is the progress with my TMJ? Well, it still hurts like a sonuvabitch. And we are still working on it.

Today, I will go again for TMJ massage therapy - the most-painful-massage-in-the-known-universe. But, as it does work tension out of those muscles, I have to believe it helps.

And tomorrow I have a follow up appointment with my primary care doctor.

There is so much that I don't know - it's anxiety producing and ultra frustrating. But, as much as I don't know - I've still learned a lot.

Here is what I know:

My Dentist is a Douche
Ice Packs come from heaven, borne down to earth on the wings of cherubic angels.
Advil doesn't cut it for *real* pain - no matter what your douche dentist says.
Wendy's Frosty's are some of the best stuff on Earth.
Lemon Sorbet is a close second.
I can indeed grow tired of broccoli cheese soup, contrary to earlier reports.
Researching what's wrong with you on the Internet will make you crazy.

So, My dentist is a douche. I will be finding a new dentist.

At which time I will tell old-douchey-dentist that I'm leaving him - and he should not treat patients for TMJD if he doesn't want to, he should refer them to a dentist who cares, who can listen, and who is non-douchey. Because it was and is LITERALLY Painfully evident that he doesn't give a rat's ass about my pain or helping me with it.

Seriously, I went to go see my regular doctor a week ago. He was impressed with my uber-toughness for waiting three weeks on my douchey dentist before seeking another opinion. I was practically in tears telling him about those three weeks.

And my delightful doctor gave me an actual exam that took longer than the 30 seconds my dentist used, to confirm the same diagnosis of TMJD - but then, the doctor did the following things that my dentist COULD HAVE but DID NOT do (bastard)

Told me to ice my jaw! (for the love that is all that is holy in this world, why didn't the dentist tell me this? - it's AWESOME!)
The dentist told me to "just take Advil for the pain" - well, that was another reason I sought out my doctor - I'd taken more Advil in those three weeks than I had taken cumulatively in the previous three years combined. So, my doc gave me a better anti-inflammatory that I only have to take twice a day. And it works SOOO much better than Advil. Advil is good for a great many things - but not for my crazy pain.
He also gave me a topical anti-inflammatory and a ... sigh of happiness: muscle relaxer for bedtime.
AND - he asked me to come back for a follow up so we can see how that is all working. My dentist showed no signs of giving a shit if the mouth-guard-from-hell did anything at all to help my TMJ.

Now - I'm not going to lie and say all that took care of the problem. No, it did not. BUT - it helped WAY WAY WAY more than my douchey-dentist did with his bite-fucking-up-mouth-guard-from-hell and piddly "take Advil" meager advice.

My pain has dropped several degrees. In the last week, I've only had a few blocks of hours where I wanted to curl up into a ball of misery.

Most of the time I sit at a two through four on the "official pain scale" or about a two through five on the Stephanie TMJD pain scale I gave in a previous blog post.

After going to the doctor, I had to go back to the dentist who said my mouth-guard was back from the lab. I was extremely hopeful. The doctor had soothed my fears and anxieties.

Well, it all came rushing back at the douchey-dentist's-office. Once again, he displayed a stunning lack of listening and caring skills. And yes, suggested I research it on the INTERNET!!

Are you fucking kidding me? I have been on the internet you crap-fest! The websites are contradictory, fear-mongering, and woefully inconsistent. The only thing that researching TMJD on the internet gave me was anxiety.

FURTHERMORE, you are my health care provider - isn't it YOUR JOB to educate me on the diagnosis you gave me? Isn't that why you bill my insurance company?

So. Freaking. Frustrating.

Sigh.

Anyway, all that mess had me feeling very sorry for myself. And I'd been in pain for three solid weeks! So, I decided I deserved a present. I bought myself something off of Etsy.com for the first time!

I got a cute silver necklace

The designer is named "FreshyFig" on Etsy if you want to see her other stuff. I really like my necklace, and she shipped it super fast!

Hearing this prompted Mrs. Love-Dove to ask when *I* was going to set up *my* Etsy shop. You know, with tiny sweater Christmas ornaments and other crafty things I get into.

So, I did that too. I find it is good to try to do other things to take your mind off the pain. If I distract myself well enough, perhaps I won't dwell as much and then maybe it won't affect me as much.

Chronic pain takes a big emotional toll on you that people without chronic pain can't really understand or empathize with. And the truth is - that the sympathy from your well meaning friends can only go so far (but I love you guys). The empathy of a friend who has chronic pain really goes a long way - because you know that they really, truly understand what you are going through.

It can be depressing. Some dude told me that his mom has TMJD and has been in pain for ten years with little relief. I almost cried on the spot. I mean seriously, that was NOT helpful.

I AM going to find a new dentist - who cares - and listens - and is not a douche. Seriously, every time I leave his office I'm filled with frustration and anxiety. I get angry just thinking about it.

UGH.

Anywho - that's the TMJ update - Oh - and if you look under my picture on the right side of my blog, you'll see a link to my Etsy page! It's been open five days now, and I haven't sold anything yet - perhaps you will be my first!?

It's never to early to start your Christmas shopping, right?

Anywho - thanks for stopping by. Hopefully, I can bring more cheer to you in my next post :)

Toodles!

Kiosk Attack Ninjas

2010-08-06T10:42:00.004-04:00

So - I went to the mall to find some fancy shampoo the other day.

And you know those kiosk people in the mall walk ways - how they are super pushy and basically come up to you and socially accost you making it impossible to break away cleanly without being rude?

They're like conversation attack ninjas - they pop up from behind thier kiosks and make it impossible for you to avoid them and their bright smiles and their conversation starters without looking/feeling like a bitch.

I don't want to be a bitch, so sometimes, I sigh inwardly and try to avoid stopping with a deflector remark.

So, there I was, happily walking through the mall, contemplating some Jason's Deli Broccoli cheese soup, when this Middle Eastern girl, with a huge main of big, thick black hair, pounced on me from behind the flat iron/curling iron kiosk.

I actually smiled inwardly. I had the absolute, sure fire win of a deflector remark. I actually ALREADY own one of those flat irons.

Thinking, I was safe, I said, "Thanks but I already have one of those flat irons" - sigh - but NO - she says she has to show me THIS!! (Theeesss in the mid-east accent) - I sigh - because she has managed to engage me in some kind of conversation - I don't want to be rude - but I'm not buying any of her shit either.

So, she pulls me over to show me a OH SO SPECIAL curling iron - that even Taylor Swift (Sweeeft) uses!!!

I was like, my hair has natural curl if I want one.

Apparently, so does Taylor Swift (Sweeeft), but she uses this - look how pretty the spiral is in the hair!

And I was like, "No really, I don't curl my hair - I don't have time for that"

She looked confused - and was like, "then what do you do to it in the mornings."

I looked at her for half a beat and said, "Um.. Well, I wash it - I brush it - I dry my bangs and I leave the house"

And she actually had the nerve to say in an appalled voice "You mean you do not style your hair!?"

I said... of course, "NO" - (which is true - if I let it air dry it has natural pretty waves, and it usually just ends up in a pony tail at work anyway)

And she gives me this look which clearly communicated, "bitch, why are you wasting my time?" and she gives me a shrug that a French-woman would be proud of - dismissing me from her little kiosk of annoyance.

I rolled my eyes and left. I mean, SERIOUSLY, you accost me in the mall - you demand I look at your weird curling iron - and when I make it plain I have no use for such a device you look like *I* am wasting *YOUR* time!?

There should be a law where in these situations where divine retribution can be wielded. Like, perhaps, Taylor Swift (Sweeeeeeeft) showing up, linking hands with me, walking back to the kiosk with me and declaring that she does in fact NOT use that device and to stop invoking her name lest she be sued. :) And then we laugh at her and go get raspberry sorbet from the food court.

Yes... That would amuse me.

Curse you Rainn Wilson & Your Ed Helms Too

2010-07-29T09:37:00.002-04:00

Rainn Wilson, who plays Dwight on the Office is a good follow on Twitter. He's funny and says unexpected things. This appeals to me.

He reports that Ed Helms has brought game to the taping of the seventh season of "The Office" that they are all obsessed with... it's a simple little computer game.

And it is evilly obsessive:
Helicopter Game

Enjoy! Just curse Rainn Wilson and his Ed Helms, NOT ME!

TMJD Pain Scale of EVIL and DOOM

2010-07-21T09:21:00.016-04:00

Hello Intrepid Readers,

Today is Wednesday - one week of TMJD pain in, I have been taking a more zen approach to pain. Or maybe a Catholic one - yesterday the pain was pretty high up there on the pain scale, but I was able to maintain my good humor. I think it helped that I took a page from the book of a friend of mine with chronic pain, who offers her pain up to God for someone else when it's bad.

My sister STILL hasn't had my new baby nephew (just as well, his gift still isn't done) - so I offered up my pain for a swift and easy birth for her and the baby. :)

Anywho, last night was my Mrs. Love-Dove night of knitting. See, I LOVE spending time with her - she's super-spiffy-awesome, but she makes me smile too big and laugh too much which amps up my pain a LOT. But, my humor definitely benefited from the laughter.

So, for those of you newly joining us - I have TMJD - which is basically lock jaw. No, I don't have tetanus. It's it's own thing sometimes. TRUST ME. And it sucks like a "mutha". (for my English as a second language readers, that's some American slang for really, really bad)

So, I decided to make this helpful illustration as an understanding to my pain levels with TMJD.

*tip: if the illustrations are too small, you can double click on the pictures to make them BIG :)

I realize Level 6 is shown twice, but getting my illustration up was hard as holy heck - and I was not messing with that baloney again!!!!

So - as you can see - TMJD can be... unpleasant.

I can be anywhere on the scale in a given day - but I haven't been dropping all that many F-bombs - just a few scattered here and there *wink.

I'm at a comfortable glass chewing level two right now... which I consider pretty good.

You really do acclimate to pain after a few days. Which really does suck as much as you think it does... I'm not going to lie to you.

I hope though, that this mythical, magical mouth guard the dentist is making for me will do all the promised wonders of the world and it helps. Because this is, frankly, re-donkulous.

Oh - for my Knittaz - as soon as I finish the tiny little sweater of sweetness and light that I'm making for my baby nephew, I'll post all about it! :)

Hugaroos for you!

Stay pretty! *wink
*PS - I'm pretty sure there were some spelling errors in my illustrations. I'm choosing to find them *charming* rather than frustrating/annoying/horrible/pestilent. Because getting the images into a format I could post was painful, lol! :)

TMJD - Lock Jaw - I know, there's a joke in there.

2010-07-19T09:35:00.007-04:00

So, last week, on Wednesday, I noticed my gums were hurting. This was merely annoying at first but soon escalated to "what in the name of all that is Holy is wrong with my fracking mouth!?!?!!?" So, I thought it was sinuses.

This is not so far-fetched. The roots of your teeth end right by your lower sinus cavities and if your sinuses swell up - this can put pressure on your teeth and cause pain.

So, I hied myself to the doctor and he peered in my ears, nose, throat, pushed all on my face and said, "it's not a sinus infection, it's something with your jaw - go see your dentist".

The next morning, the pain was still present - and it was rather horrific. So, I did call the dentist as my first action of the morning (seriously, FIRST action of the morning - I woke up - laid there hating life for a minute or two and then called the dentist).

They couldn't work me in until much later in the day and said they'd call to let me know when - so I got up - took a shower, got all ready for them to call me - and went right back to sleep.

I've got a pretty high threshold for pain. But mostly, when I'm in pain, I prefer to be unconscious until it goes away. This is what happens when I have the flu - which I've had twice since moving to Atlanta. And both times, I bet I slept for twenty hours a day.

So, they called and gave me an appointment time of one thirty in the afternoon. So, I promptly went back to sleep. I got up at one, and got all my stuff, collected the latest Eloisa James bodice ripper I was reading (which was delightful by the way, excellent distraction from intense jaw pain.) And drove the two miles to my dentist.

I firmly believe that all doctors/dentists/chiropractors should be within a ten to fifteen minute drive. Otherwise, when I'm truly sick, I'll just lie there thinking of how much worse it would be to be that sick, and in a car for a long drive.

I'm motion sensitive at the best of times... but when I'm sick, it's amplified to an untenable degree.

So, they worked me in and my usually fine dentist started throwing letters at me.

Holy Acronyms, Batman.

Then, I was like what do all those letters mean, please? And he was all: temporomandibular joint disorder. And still, I found that to be clear as mud. And he goes on to explain that I needed a mouth guard to fix it.

I was all, "how much does that cost."

And the typical man, says, "Let me find out for you" and disappears. I say "typical man" because he did not come back, the office manager comes back in.

So, it came to pass, that the office manager and not my dentist explains to me that I have lock jaw - and that it is an inflamed jaw joint, and that it's going to continue to suck for several weeks....

Did that bitch just say WEEKS!? Okay - she was not a bitch, she was a lovely woman, truth be told. But, when, we are in the midst of lock jaw, it seems we operate under a "shoot the messenger" policy. Which is why, I'm sure, the dentist, in his maleness, fled the room before I found out what his lofty letters truly meant.

Through the weekend, the pain kept up. The Love-Doves tried their very best to distract me with game night. We played the board game from the books, "Game of Thrones". Which Mr. Love-Dove easily won and I think I'll decline that game in the future. Blokus would have been more the speed of TMJD. Game of Thrones had a lot of rules, and I lost badly. BADLY - I'm not exaggerating. It was not pretty.

Also, Mrs. Love-Dove as usual had me laughing a lot - which also HURT, lol. But I love her and her awesome ways. She made me a smoothie for dinner, which was equally delightful.

She also sent me home with her unused magic bullet so I can make smoothies to my heart's desire. Which I will be doing - as eating is sometimes a challenge. I am getting very tired of soft foods.

Although, an excuse to get Frosty's from Wendy's for the first time in years has been rather awesome! All that cold in my mouth does feel amazing - I will tell you that.

The mythical, magical mouth guard won't be ready for at least a week. Yes, I had to get impressions made and everything. It sucked far less than I had imagined it did. So, that was a plus. :)

I do anticipate getting it for some needed mandibular relief! Although, I bet I'm going to look rather ridiculous as I'm supposed to wear it A LOT the first week. sigh. I think my womanly vanity is about to take a hit.

But, I'll muster through - I always do!

Toodles!

PS - Please go out and eat steak, chicken, sandwiches, raw baby carrots, crunchy salads with cucumbers, and other crunchy, chewy foods that I can't for me. I really, really miss the baby carrots! *sigh*

PPS - Oh, and if you really feel the need to make a lock jaw joke, feel free - I can take it. :)

Giggle Factory

2010-07-12T15:54:00.006-04:00

Okay - we are going to do a new thing once in a while - when I find something worthy - and that is going to be the Giggle Factory.

Things on the internet - or otherwise, perhaps that inspire fits of giggles.

So - things I may have put on in the past if we were doing that all along would be things like this site:
Failbook

This one makes me both giggle and feel morally superior:
Texts From Last Night

Today's entry is:
Shit My Darth Says

Which plays off of this Twitter feed, also soon to be a show with William Shatner as the crotchety old man who says inappropriate things :):
Shit My Dad Says

But... Shit My Darth Says made me giggle more profusely, lol :) You'll like it, I promise.

Anywho - This has been the first edition of the Giggle Factory. Don't count on another one anytime soon. :)

"The Outfit"

2010-07-08T09:43:00.005-04:00

Okay - So I was sitting "somewhere" listening to "someone" talk and he was going on about finding a "shorts outfit" that his previous boyfriend had purchased for him. And it bothered me.

Not the boyfriend part - I don't give a rat's ass about what people do behind closed doors.

It was the "outfit" part.

So, last night it dawned on me why I found this comment so nose crinkle worthy.

Men do not wear outfits.

It's true; they don't.

Men wear pants, slacks, shorts, shirts, tuxedos, suits, uniforms... perhaps on Halloween, or for a special party they might wear a costume....

But men do NOT wear OUTFITS.

Seriously.

Women and babies wear outfits. Once a member of the male half of the species reaches the age of seven, the only time he wears an "outfit" is when a woman is forcing him to - in the guise of the "Matching Outfit".

The ONLY TIME this is not emasculating is when it is classy (like all white) and for a photo. And even then, EVERYONE KNOWS that it was not his idea and that he goes along with it for TWO reasons.

1) Love (awww... isn't that sweet)
2) It isn't worth the argument.

Seriously.

So - BE A MAN! Don't ever refer to a set of clothing you own as an "outfit".

If you do - I promise you, promise you, promise you that I will call you a girl.

Happy 4th of July

2010-07-01T12:34:00.002-04:00

Okay- I'm not going to amuse you - but rather show you something that amused me:

hugs!

Round Robin of Irritation

2010-05-06T13:04:00.003-04:00

The following blog is kind of sort of ranty. Hopefully, you'll just find my irritation amusing *wink*

Okay - So, these online boys keep messaging me. Some of them are even age-appropriate and have varying degrees of cuteness. I read their messages, sometimes lame, sometimes indicated that they are at least mildly interesting, have read my profile and made an effort. And I sit there, and I sigh, and I click on their profile to check out their details: do they smoke, want kids, have a job, know how to spell and use semi-proper grammar? And I click, click, click - yet, my interest in these boys is at an all time low.

I am SO fed up with dating. I go on this endless round robin of bad dates filled with jerks and bores. The jerks at least make for interesting stories for my girlfriends, who fall out laughing at the audacity, cluelessness, and outright dumb/douche-assery that befalls me.

This round robin of dates has become more like a round robin of IRRITATION. Seriously.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not without a certain appreciation for the stories these bad dates provide. But, it would be nice to go out with a man I would actually like to see again.

It occurred to me today that the reason I haven't granted a second date to any of the candidates who have taken me out in the last year is because I haven't had any *fun* on any of these dates. And it isn't anything about dating yankees or southerners, rich or poor guys, average or hot guys - all categories have failed to deliver.

And I know I'm fun - I have a crap load of friends who want my attention, who show up by the dozens when I throw a party, and they are all amazing, intelligent, awesome people. So, I know I'm fun, they tell me I am, and I'm inclined to believe them.

Dating is *supposed* to be fun, right? And what's fun about an interview? What music do you listen to? What hobbies do you have? What kind of pets do you have? How many kids do you want? What do you do for a living? Why did you choose that? Blah, blah, blah. Don't you get tired of answering the same questions over and over again? I know that I do. It's juts an endless litany of guys boring me and then trying to kiss me and get in my pants. Sometimes, before we've even left the restaurant (not kidding).

It's not fun, and it's not cute.

It is *exasperating*. Seriously.

What happened to being genuine and interesting and nice and having FUN on dates? When did it become all about scripts and interview questions? It is so damn boring!

Seriously, I ask you: When did people start getting so wrapped up with first impressions that the ONLY impression they can leave is mind-numbingly boring or so insanely jerk-tacular that if we translated it to allegorical fireworks, they'd light up the eastern sky like a cloudless summer day?

When I look back at the relationships I've had that is the one common denominator. We had fun together. Mr. Glass especially is a lot of fun.

And that's really, what I'm looking for: Someone to have fun with for decades.

I always say, there are two major criteria I look for in a potential boyfriend.
1) Do I want to hang out with him?
2) Do I want to make out with him?

Of course, there are subsets including general characteristics that make up a man I want to hang out and make out with.

For example, I'm not going to want to hang out with someone who isn't nice to kids and animals, is mean to service people, who stiff waiters on tips, who have zero ambition, aren't intelligent, don't laugh at my jokes or make me laugh... you know... and someone who LOATHES Monty Python will have me looking at him askance.

I mean, who doesn't love the Lumberjack song?

(that makes me happy)

But, I digress (as I often do)... Dating... I'm so tired of dating. Why can't I just meet someone in public, hang out, have fun, then realize there is chemistry and make out until I lose all rational thought?

Seriously, the last dude I met while out in public turned out to be a terrible kisser. And then, after enduring that frightful kiss, I find out he's got a girlfriend of some variety.

Then, after I TOLD him that he was a terrible kisser and shouldn't be dating when he has a girlfriend, he STILL tried to pursue me! What the Frack is that!?

Am I a douche magnet?

(insert very loud scream of frustration here) (seriously, very, very loud)

So, when this week, some guy who was of an appropriate age, somewhat interesting, and took effort in his email to me sent me a message, it took every ounce of self control I had to not ask, "Dude, you seem nice and all, but are you just going to be another boring person, or a jerk wasting my time, when I'd rather be knitting? Or do you think you have the capacity to be at least a little interesting and/or a little fun?"

Seriously! THAT is what I am looking for in a date - a guy who doesn't make me sigh inwardly and wish privately that instead of sipping a beverage across from him, I were instead home, or at the yarn store, knitting.

Did I reign it in and be nice to the poor would-be suitor? Yes... I did. He seems nice. I just can't bring myself to care all that much. Isn't that terrible?

And I think that I am over it for the time being... I really do just want to have fun... which takes me back over to YouTube (hee, hee)

Good times, good times.

Okay - I'm going to wind down this rant, *wink*

Have a lovely day - I hope that wherever you are, or whatever you are doing, that it's FUN!

Yield: A Tutorial

2010-05-05T17:13:00.008-04:00

Warning: The following is a Rant. It is a full-fledged, Stephanie is NOT a happy camper because three people have tried to hit her car in the last three days, RANT.

Dear Atlanta Drivers:

Why, for the love of Pete, can you not YIELD PROPERLY!?

Perhaps this is not common to your area, perhaps it is. But if this is you, or anyone you know, please take note, YIELD means you don't get to GO just because you have no patience. Yield means to stop your dumb ass at the light until it is your fracking turn!

PATIENCE GRASSHOPPER!!!!!!!!!

The tutorial I would like to give is related to the proper yielding at Traffic Lights.

In the United States, we have a pretty universal, "Right on Red", unless otherwise specified. Which means it is legal to make a right turn at a Red (stop) light provided there is no oncoming traffic.

In some cases, where drivers are dumbasses to a greater degree, the powers that be, install YIELD signs to let the drivers know, "Hey, Dumbass, just because you can turn right on that red light doesn't mean you should, and in fact, any and everyone else, has the right of way."

The yield signs in these cases, most often appear in conjunction with traffic signals that include a left hand turn signal.

I would like to point out the following to these non-yielding-mo-fo's

1) YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY!
2) YOU ARE A DUMBASS!
3) DO YOU WANT ME TO HIT YOU?!
4) GET THE FRACK OUT OF MY WAY!
5) I, ME, in other words, NOT YOU, ME, I Have the RIGHT OF WAY! (NOT YOU!)
6) Are you sooo impatient that you HAVE to turn RIGHT THIS SECOND, breaking traffic laws, potentially causing accidents, and holding up the rest of the free world because you can't wait your FRACKING TURN!?

Seriously.

I realize that people are visual learners. So, I have prepared a series of visual aids:

In this aid, we explore traffic signals:

Here, we visit the YIELD sign:

And finally, a helpful diagram of an intersection:

As you can see - failure to yield can lead to a crash, which is no bueno. If my reflexes weren't awesome, (and they are, yeah buddy), I would have hit someone by now. Instead, I just CURSE, FLIP them off, if I think they can see me, and blare my horn at them.

And FYI: I once confessed flipping people off in traffic when failing to properly yield and the priest let me know that it's not a mortal sin to flip off the traffic law violators, it's merely rude. And seeing as how they are putting me at personal risk, I'm gonna flip off the dumbasses.

And for the those who open their wide, innocent eyes at me and say, "Oh, I didn't see the sign!", or, "I didn't see you coming." I have this to say:

If, my dear Dumbass, you didn't see the HUGE RED sign that says YIELD, or my bright silver Honda Civic, should you REALLY be driving? I mean, SERIOUSLY.

And I realize this dumbassery of "NOT YOUR FRACKING RIGHT OF WAY" is not merely limited to the big Yield Signs situated on the corner of intersections, but also the ones at the left hand turn lights, which are smaller, and located right next to the light you are sitting at waiting to turn left.

We submit the dumbass from Monday of this week who was sitting at a green light, with a left hand turn yield, in his lovely left hand only turn lane, as I approached the intersection - and I had a green light - and he goes from a STOPPED position, in his turn lane, to pull out right in front of me.

I had to SLAM on my breaks in the middle of the fracking intersection to avoid T-Boning his dumb-mini-van-driving-ass. And so I lay on my horn, to say, "DUMBASS! YOU ARE A DUMBASS!" and the Dumbass had the audacity to blow his horn back at me.

SO PLEASE - Tell your friends, tell everyone you know, that the YIELD sign that is there, large, and in RED letters means that they do NOT have the right of way.

Tell them, tell them firmly, and with resolve, "You do NOT have the right of way. If there is a doubt, then keep your foot on your brake, and let the other car go."

SERIOUSLY.

Again, I blame television. Seriously. It's that whole sense of entitlement that is running rampant in this country. I *think* I should get to go first, so I'm going to bully my way into traffic even though I have no right to do so and even though I don't have the right of way - I really want to have the right of way, so I'm just going to take it for myself, because I want it; and if I want it, I am entitled to it, I'm important! (how was that for a run-on sentence, lol)

Commercials tell people they should have everything and anything they want, just because they want whatever useless thing they are advertising. And then that sense of entitlement spills over into everything else in our society.

And I'm FED UP with the nonsense.

People have lost all sense of consideration for others. Taking the right of way when it is not yours to take, is just plain inconsiderate.

Parking in two spaces is inconsiderate.

Throwing your trash on the ground is inconsiderate.

The list could go on forever, so I'm going to stop with that last one. Wait, one more, Smoking next to an entrance/exit where people have to breathe in your nasty-ass fumes is INCONSIDERATE!

Okay - that was the last one.

BUT SERIOUSLY, if I could just drive to and from work for one solid week where no one cuts me off while failing to properly yield to oncoming traffic, I would be a much less stressed out person.

I'm going to have to start listening to Buddhist chant CD's in my car or something; or I may actually start hitting the dumbasses who fail to yield properly to me!

*grumble, grumble, grumble*

Okay - end of the rant.

On a side note: I would like to thank "Jack" who, just as a friend, not as a date, went to lunch with me at the Greek Place of wonderfulness, Dalia's and bought me lunch. :) Kudos on being awesome, Jack: Kudos.

Knitting side note: Finished my 7th sock, moved on to the 8th! *happiness!*

Summer of Socks!

2010-05-01T23:00:00.006-04:00

So, a year after I began my first sock and abandoned it at the heel turn (shaping the heel) - because the pattern made no sense to me, I finally picked it back up. I'd gained confidence just "following" patterns and trusting things would work out okay and so... it did!

Here is a picture of my very first completed sock:

Some of my knitter friends warned me of "second sock syndrome" - This is where you finish knitting a sock and don't want to knit the second, matching sock.

I scoffed. I do not have ADD - I have OCD. Remember the tiny sweaters, and more tiny sweaters around Christmas? I probably made over thirty of the little things.

When I find a pattern I like, I like to knit lots and lots of them. I have three mistake rib scarfs, I've knitted a dozen of Brian's startop hats - And so too - I am now knitting my seventh sock.

Here are the next two completed pair that followed the first:

Also, in lovely knitting news was Stitches South 2010. Held each year at the galleria, this Knitting Expo is more like Yarn Nirvana. Holy Cannolies it was amazing.

I was going to go three days - but, a friend's passing took precedence. I do want to blog about that - but I have a lot of processing to do about it, so we are going to talk about the yarn, glorious yarn instead.

I bought way, way too much yarn - WAY too much yarn. But, it was all really good yarn. There were some vendors there who I adore. Miss Babs was there, the twist on her sock yarn is just amazing. It's no wonder she calls it "Yummy". I got some amazing colors.

I also got some more Knit Witch Yarn. I adore her stuff as well. I'd already gotten one skein of it at my favorite yarn store. I bought some other kinds of her yarn I can't get in the store.

I also found a great deal on Cherry Tree Hill sock yarn from Name Brand Discontinued Yarn - which is an online retailer I like to visit. That booth had a guy working it that looked like a Victorian Romance Novel cover. Yeah, he was kind of hot - but the long hair just DOES NOT do it for me.

I have a strict rule on the long hair: If you are NOT in a successful Rock band, or at least a successful 80's cover band, you need a haircut.

I can only imagine the increase in hotness that man would have if he got a decent haircut. Seriously. I bet that all the women around him would instantly find their salivary glands active as they gazed upon his short haired hotness.

Okay - moving right along. I also got some awesome earrings and a bracelet made from old knitting needles from Sassafras Creations - she is local and has an Etsy shop. Etsy, for those of you unfamiliar is like the ebay for hand crafted wonderfulness and vintage items, but you don't bid - you just buy. Go check it out - you can find unique and amazing things.

Of course, there was more yarn purchased - mostly sock yarn - as this is definitely looking like it will be the summer of the sock. I'm already knitting the fourth pair. I am going to start branching out beyond the basic pattern very soon.

I have some lovely jojoland sock yarn that wants to be knit into soft, gorgeous socks. I have enough for three pairs of socks. I briefly considered trying to find a shawl pattern for this gorgeous sock yarn - but it is not the summer of the shawl, now is it? No, my loves, it is not.

Okay - here is a little snapshot of some of my Stitches 2010 Yarn Stash Enhancement:

See my pretty new hand made buttons too? So pretty - Sigh - I love yarn. :)

Lame Excuses

2010-04-30T10:41:00.003-04:00

Dear blogging readers.

Love you guys - and I do have stuff to say - I'm just doing my introspective thing so I can work it out before I type it out.

Hang with me - I bet over the weekend, I'll have more time to roll around the topics in my head, examine them from their different angles and work out my feelings about said topics.

I also promise to blog something about knitting over the weekend, which is a much less introspective topic, but makes me happy. I'd do it now, but those photos aren't on this computer. (yeah, yeah, lame excuses, I know - but you feel me, right?)

Just know that I haven't forgotten you. May will be filled with the clicking of the keys on my keyboard. *wink*

Toodles for now -

Dumbass Chronicles of the Week

2010-04-16T09:47:00.009-04:00

Okay, so Little Miss Thang has come out to play, lol.

Seems I'm unleashing a little more honesty on the male population than I normally do. I think this is in direct relation to my frustration with one Mr. Glass. But that's neither here nor there -

The honesty I'm dishing out has been a little more fun than one would anticipate.

We as women are taught to shield what we really think - especially about men. At least to men, to each other we dish without much restraint (wink).

So, here's what ha'happened.

Tuesday - I went out with this guy, we'll save the nickname for later. Without going into a big long story, he asked me out for lunch - we went to a favorite spot of mine, Dalia's. Which is a small Greek place where you order at the counter, pay, collect your food, go sit down and eat. We go to order - I place my order, turn around and look at him and he says, "Oh, this will be separate."

Yes, my eyebrows did that Stephanie thing where they shoot into my hairline. I was floored.

When I picked my jaw up off the ground, I seriously considered having my order changed to "to-go". Boy do I wish I had.

His official Nickname is: El-Cheapo. (aka Dumbass #1)

El-Cheapo also turned out to be pretentious, telling me that the convertible he showed up in is his "old car" and his other car is nicer. Obviously, the cost of two cars meant he couldn't pay for my SEVEN DOLLAR GYRO.

He was also un-kept - scraggly goatee and a half white-guy-afro that screamed: I NEED A HAIRCUT.

So, coming back to my office, my boss looks at me expectantly, having known where I was going and why - I cocked an eyebrow, gave him a thumbs down and blew a raspberry through my lips.

Two days later, I'm back in Dalia's (I TOLD you it is my favorite), and my phone rings. I answer it without thinking and it was him. He had to tell me who it was, I'd already put him out of my mind, and his name certainly didn't make it into my phone.

He was all like, "It was nice getting to know you the other day." I was like, "I'm at lunch - my mouth is full, I can't really talk."

I was SHOCKED that he called, I thought my disdain had been evident. Apparently, I'm a little better at hiding my thoughts than previously known.

So, back at the office, I consult with a guy friend and we decide to send him an exit interview of our first date. (hee, hee)

We decided I would try to be nice. So, here's what I sent him:

Dear El-Cheapo (yes I used his real name, lol),

Thanks for the call this afternoon. I am not interested in pursuing a dating or friendship relationship with you.

I thought I would be nice and tell you why - please receive this with the spirit it was intended - I want you to be successful with other women.

No matter what, if you go for coffee/tea/drinks/lunch/dinner with a woman for the purpose of a date, you should pay. It was rather shocking that you didn't buy my $7 lunch, and that sealed the fate of the date, as it were - then and there.

Also, the goatee works for you - but it could use a trim - and your hair in your photo, that's shorter, looks much better on you.

Best wishes,
SK

Kind of startling honesty for me to give a guy.

But our online dating honesty doesn't end there.

Some Italian guy (Dumbass #2) messaged me something like, "Great profile, you're lovely, I'd like to get to know you."

He's decently cute - I like accents - sure, whatever; I'll respond.

So, not having asked me any questions, and not giving me much to work with in either his email or bland profile (FULL of spelling errors, but guys who learn English as a second language get a break from me on this front), I ask him just a couple of basic questions. "What kinds of things do you like to do on the weekends? How long have you been in Atlanta."

Seriously, if he likes to sit on his ass watching TV all weekend, or if he likes to go clubbing, or if he likes to hang out in smoky bars, these are things I have no interest in doing. So, I like to ask that question in particular.

He sent me back something like, "Those are flat questions, don't you think?"

WHAT THE WHAT?!

Are you KIDDING ME!?

Nor did he answer the questions.

In my head I was all, "I don't have time for this Bull-sh*t"

I fired back with this:

Sweetness -

You can either answer my questions or not - I know I'm cute and I have no problem finding guys to take me out. And you didn't exactly ask me any questions in your initial email to me.

Ball is your court - play it or go home.

Toodles

And his response was,

easy baby..............if you have lots of guys to take you out its nice to hear...cause i dont like to go out that much ,they will take you out - ill take you in !!!

....

REALLY?

Really?

Really.

*sigh*

Lines do not work on me. Seriously, that smacks hard of "player".

I actually did reply. I nearly didn't. I sent back something along the lines of the fact I don't like players - lines don't work on me. I don't play games - and that the only thing that really works on women is genuine quality of character. If you can't do that, don't bother.

He responded that he likes my attitude and wants my phone number.

Really? Telling guys you don't care if they like you or not, and that if they are going to act stupid, they can go away is the fishing hook that snares them?

Should I give my number to him to him? (lol) He never did tell me what he does on the weekends! Maybe all he does do is sit at home and stare at a television or his walls. Who Knows.

My point is, though, that at least for the rest of April, I'm going to let loose my shocking honesty. I'll make Mrs. Love-Dove happy and hold onto my womanly mystery. However, if I think a guy is being a dumbass, I'm just going to tell him he's being a dumbass. Although, I will say it nicely.

We'll see how that works, lol.

*shaking my head at the dumbassery of it all*

UPDATE: I told Dumbass #2 that he didn't rate my phone number. He never answered my "flat" questions, and he was kind of rude to me. I also told him neither of those things made me want to fall all over myself to get his attention. (hee, hee)

Weekend-In-Review: Tacos & Games

2010-04-12T09:26:00.008-04:00

Good Monday Party People,

Okay - not so good Monday. Sure, it's GORGEOUS outside, the sun is shining. That always helps. I shudder to think of the mood I'd be in if it were an overcast, rainy day. No bueno.

I hereby endorse the three day weekend!! (I wish!! How delightful would that be?)

How was my weekend you ask? Well, it was fine. Saturday, I went to the Buford Hwy Farmer's market and stocked up. And the Love-Doves and Mr. Tennis came over for Tacos & Games.

My tacos were met with rave reviews. So, that made me happy. And the company was delightful. We played Blokus Trigon and Settlers of Catan. Mr. Love-Dove won both games.

After the first game I let him pick a prize out of my pink kid pouch. That is a little cosmetic case, which is, of course, pink - and it's usually got little goodies for little people. I recently filled it with tons of these awesome little Japanese erasers. I was sure that he would pick one of the multitude of awesome erasers. But, not so much - he took some pretty little horse trading cards or something I'd gotten to appeal to the 6 year old little girl set. It was hilarious. Mrs. Love-Dove and I were greatly amused... and bemused too come to think of it. *grin*

I've decided that Mr. Love-dove will be my honorary big bro. He's one of my best friend's husbands, gives a good comforting hug, and is merciless at games. That fills many bro-like criteria.

The Love-Doves also made their famous margaritas. They were indeed quite tasty. From Scratch Margaritas are much more delightful than from a mix. :)

It was a good night.

Sunday was another gorgeous day in Atlanta. We have been blessed by the weather gods lately. I didn't really go out that much in it, though. I went out a few times to look at my new impatiens (sp?) (I got New Guinea impatiens and double impatiens, very pretty); and to just turn my face up to the sun.

But, for the most part I stayed in and knitted.

Stitches South is coming up. And one of the out of towners is having a "Slumber Party" complete with prizes for wacky pajamas and hand made slippers.

One of the prizes is a yarn bowl made by the Knit Witch's husband. I wants it!! But, I can't win if I don't have a horse in the race. And I'm not so big on wacky pajamas (seriously) - So, I'm knitting some slippers.

I started a pattern in a book. I like how they do the soles. But the top panel of the pattern was completely undecipherable to me.

Seriously.

So, I'm abandoning the pattern at that point and doing something else. Which will result in a new pattern, completely my own :) I'm happy with that idea. I'm using this awesome yarn that is super soft. I'm a happy camper.

I'm also nearly finished with the matching sock in my first pair of socks. :)

Saturday, I also ran by one of the yarn stores. My favorite yarn store just got in a new batch of needles, but not the size I'd been waiting for. So, I caved and went to the other yarn store. While I was there, I saw a color-way of Berroco Sox I hadn't ever seen before and promptly fell in love with it.

Yes, it came home with me. I showed Mrs. Love-Dove who asked who it was for, I said, "ME!". She seemed a little bemused with me.

But, yes, I am a selfish knitter. There are knitters who give away 99% of what they knit. I am not one of their ranks. I give away about half of what I make, true. But, my favorite yarns, those must stay with me.

I love this new Berroco Sox color-way so much that it's jumping the queue. I had some other yarn already wound and ready for my next pair of socks - but this stuff has to be knit, and it has to be knit NOW!!! (queue maniacal knitting laughter).

(For my knitters it's color 1425)

Anywho, that's your weekend in review. I think I might actually post again this week, come back and check *wink*

Toodles!

Where have you been? Where are you going?

2010-04-07T09:35:00.003-04:00

Wow - I really do get around!

Who knew!

These are all the states I've physically been to

visited 26 states (52%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

Here are the states I've lived in..

visited 9 states (18%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

And here are the states that Mr. Big and I have been to together:

visited 13 states (26%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

That last one might seem weird to you, but it's significant to me :)

I really do need to get further West. I would like to go to California, Oregon, Washington. I want to go to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon. Go to Vegas and experience the flash of it. I want to go to Colorado, and see the Rockies.

Of course, I want to go see Alaska in the Summer, and Hawaii in the late Spring. :)

I do get to Travel this year. It's my fifth year with my company - which means I get a fifteen hundred dollar travel bonus as a reward. :) How lovely, right? I love my small company for this type of thing. :)

My first instinct is to go to Italy. I long for Italy, like only a Catholic girl with some Italian heritage can long. *deep, dramatic sigh*

I am a little obsessed with light when I travel. Maybe it's the dormant artist that lies within me, who escapes in little bursts with small pencil drawings of flowers, and photography. But, the light in different places is... different. New Jersey was my bane. I lived up in Morristown, NJ and I felt like the light was filtered, watery. When I was there, I longed to go back to Arkansas where the light was more golden, bright, fierce. Even at such a young age, I took notice of the quality of light.

And I moved back to Arkansas in June of that year, and I came home in the dark of night. I had driven straight through in my beat up Geo Metro bright red convertible - about 24 straight hours (oh, the things we can do when we are 21 years old) So, having left at 6:30 EST, it was just dawning as I was driving the last miles to my friend's house. I'll never forget that overwhelmingly peaceful feeling to have those first rays of dawn greet me, as I pulled into that rural driveway in Conway, Arkansas. My friend, answering the door in her pajamas and giving me a hug. It was a good day. :)

So, all the maps and the memories of where I've been always beg the introspective pull of "Where am I going?"

UGHGHGHGHGH.

Seriously.

SUCH a loaded question.

I know where I want my path to take me. But, I'm still really struggling this week about the Homily the priest gave on Easter.

I keep looking for the starting path that Jesus is blazing for me to my future. That path that I know must lead to my future family. To my special someone I like to hang out with and make out with.

I found a stamp while I was cleaning my den that said something like, "It's about the journey, not the destination."

Sometimes, though, I feel like I haven't even started the important part of my journey. Like I'm still sitting on my couch, making packing lists, haven't even bought the luggage for the journey.

Or like, I started it - and then somehow got stuck in a parking spot from hell and I can't pull out of it to get moving towards that path that Jesus is blazing for me.

I know, I know, Let go of your anxiety and trust in God.

I have little encouraging scriptures all along my cubicle walls at work.

"I can do all things in Him who Strengthens me." - Phil 4:13

"When I am afrid, I will trust in You." PS 56:3

"Be Strong in the Lord, and in His Mighty Power." - EPH 6:10

"In the Day of my trouble, I will call for you, for you will answer me." PS 86:7

"Rejoice in the Lord always." - Phil 4:4

And of course, the Peace Prayer of St. Francis - an all time favorite. I have made people bookmarks with that prayer on it I love it so much, lol.

Do I need to list it? No, you can google it if you want to read it, lol. (I am so mean!)

For now, my path will be blazing towards the Braves game tonight. Lady Jane's boss gave her tickets and I am the lucky one who gets to go with her! They are amazing seats, and I am very excited to go! :)

Toodles!

Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T22:57:00.006-04:00

Happy Easter!

I realize that as a Yankee, I'm really posting this on Easter Monday! But, that's okay.

I had a pretty good weekend, I think. Good spots, interesting spots, other spots.

Friday, I was thrilled to be off of work. Especially with such wonderful weather and company. Mrs. Love-Dove and I got together and got pedicures - it's been awesomely warm outside - perhaps a little too warm. It feels like we had a really cold Winter and then, hop, skip, swift slide into Summer. We've had several days in the eighties. WARM.

They tell me that we'll have another cool down back to more Spring like seventy degree weather, and I really do hope so. I LOVE Spring, it's my favorite season, and I'd like to experience a little more of it.

And one of my favorite things about Spring is the reappearance of my flip flops and sandals, thus the pedicures! Which begs the question, "Does a woman ever have enough flip flops and sandals?"

And can you hear my ladies calling back? I can - and the answer my friends, is "HECK NO!".

So, first, off to my favorite salon in Alpharetta for pedicures - it's called Summer Nails, I think - it's off North Point, where the Steinway Piano store is. :) It had been a while since my last mani/pedi. My nails were all long, which I hate. I like nice, short nails. The better to type/text/knit/etc. with. I'm not all about the long, crazy nails.

I went with the standard pink nails - and then, I talked Mrs. Love-Dove into her first nail designs, which was awesome. I love to spread my girly-girl ways amongst my girl friends :)

Here is a photo of our toes:

Afterwards, it being Good Friday, we were banned from meat, but we needed some lunch. We continued my meatless Friday tradition of 2010 by going for falafel wraps. They were awesome, if I do say so myself.

Then, shopping! We did want some new shoes for Spring and our delightfully girly toes. YAY for flip-flops, sandals, all toe baring shoes!

I got some of those Sketchers tone up flip flops. So far, I haven't felt the affects beyond a wear blister on top of my foot. I am not used to having anything but cloth flip flops gracing my girly feet, so it's been an adjustment. I think a little well placed paper medical tape might help with that problem the next time I wear them.

And Mrs. Love-Dove and I bought matching Teva sandals. It wasn't "on purpose" in that teeny-bopper-best-friends-for-life-lets-be-twinkies-forever-and-ever-cuz-I-love-you-like-a-sister-girl-woo-hoo kind of way.

It was more of a "hey, did you realize we both bought the same tevas earlier today" kind of thing. Hey, they are cute, comfy and they were... (drum-roll please) ON SALE! Yeah, buddy!

I love sales. :)

Anywho...

Saturday was a lovely low-key day for me. I finished up my first shawlette out of Noro Sock yarn. I need to block it still - but it's cute. Blocking is where you shape it and make sure it "does right".

And, as I was looking at my other knitting works in progress, I was not "feeling" the lace scarf, or my latest gathered scarf - so I dug up the one sock I have started - a YEAR ago to see if I could figure out the pattern finally.

And I'm very pleased to report that I did! I finished that bad boy - I have one complete sock, which I promptly put on and wore around the house for a half an hour. That's right, one sock, lol. I was proud of it and I wanted to enjoy the fruits of my labor! *grin*

I couldn't start the second sock yet, because I still have to wind the next skein of yarn. But, I wanted to start another sock, so I started a second skein of sock yarn. Honestly, not overly crazy about the colors so far, these might be a gift. This might be a case of it's prettier on the skein. Sigh.

Moving right along: Easter!

I got up crazy early for me on a Sunday and drove way the heck over to East Cobb to Holy Family Catholic Church. I did kind of miss not going to St. Brigid on Easter- it's such a beautiful church. But, it was great to be with the Love-Doves and family.

We went over to the Love-Dove brother's house - to have lunch with the family. It was lovely - they have a darling little girl - only 16 months old. She was definitely the focus, lol. :) And she is quite the little princess. :)

I also took the opportunity to take a couple of shots of the Spring trees in sight - which per my last post we learned that I'm totally in love with.

After lunch - I thought I was going to go see the honey-boos; but no one had told me the "plan" and I was told to just come over when I was done with the Love-Doves. By the time I was done - so was everyone at the Honey-boos.

Which, honestly, left me feeling very much at loose ends.

Which, again, honestly, sucked.

It's a holiday. *sigh* Holidays are a big deal to me. Easter is a big, major holiday to me too. And I remember a lot of family dinners when I was little. And my mother put a lot of effort into holidays, which was really special. And I have really good memories of most of the holidays growing up. They were fun days, in a childhood when the happy memories are fewer, and therefore brighter.

And as an adult, I guess, I miss those golden moments of holidays; filled with family, traditions, memories.

And, I am very grateful for the Love-Doves and family for grafting me onto the vine of their family for the day. And it was delightful. It was fun - the baby was sweet, entertaining, and wonderful. The adults were all people I like - and enjoy their company... but, I don't "belong" to them.

They all belong together, they have ties of time and blood - TRUE family. And as wonderful, inclusive, and awesome as they are - there's no way I can truly feel that I belong in that family unit.

And with my ... interesting... family dynamic, I wonder sometimes where it is that I do belong.

A very bright spot of my day was when one of my uncles called me first thing in the morning. It was great. He's a sweetie. It was nice of him to call me - and be the first to tell me Happy Easter.

And I did talk to a bunch of my sisters, my dad, even my mother.

And found my one sister had surprised my other older sister and parents by flying up to Buffalo for the holiday. I didn't know she was going. And I had originally invited her here. And, I don't know, it kind of made my feelings of isolation worse. As I sat there on the side of my bed, in my empty apartment and listened to all the commotion there as they were cooking, and calling out to children, barking dogs, people laughing in the background; and it just sucked.

I would have liked to have been somewhere where I belong. And not that I am always convinced that I do belong there - not having grown up there with them - blood ties are strong, but not nearly as strong as the ties of growing up together.

But, even more than wishing I were with people to whom I belonged; more than anything in the world, I wanted to *be* the place someone else belongs to, to have a little family unit of my own to cook for, plan for, buy Easter outfits for, go to mass as a family, make baskets for; basically, have people of my very own to take care of. And perhaps sometimes we do go see family, and sometimes perhaps my family would be the one to graft the "orphans", such as myself, onto our vine.

And on the holidays, I feel the lack of my own family a lot more profoundly. And it makes me melancholy.

And then, I feel guilty too. Because the homily this morning at mass, was all about letting go of fear, about trusting in God, and letting Jesus blaze your trail ahead of you, and follow confidently behind Him, that He is going to lead you to where you need to go.

And I know I need to trust in Him, that He's not going to lead me anywhere but where I should go. And that if I am going places I ought not be, it's because I'm not following Him.

So, it is has been an interesting, introspective day; with lots to sort through. *sigh*

Sunny Skies Make Me Sunny Inside!!

2010-03-31T19:33:00.009-04:00

Hello Easter/Passover Party People!

Happy Passover to my Jewish friends and Happy Easter to my Christian Friends. :)

I SIMPLY LOVE this time of year! The blossoming trees and flowers delight my eyes, the warm breezes to kiss my skin. Being outside is like a decadent pleasure, it's sensual, the feel of the sun warming the skin on my upturned cheeks and exposed arms; it's like a lover's embrace.

Then, we also reunite with our short sleeved shirts, sun dresses, and open toed shoes - it's like greeting old friends in our closets :) True, pollen season hasn't yet started.

All the blooms on the trees are still intact - but soon, those sensual warm breezes will begin to pull the blossoms from the branches, making a fluffy, white and pink suburban "snow" drift across the roads and settle on the green lawns of Alpharetta. It's gorgeous and it always pulls on my heart strings and makes me smile.

Today is definitely one of those days that I love so very much, one of the days that makes you really feel like Spring finally, truly here; that the cold days are truly behind us. Days like this trumpet that Spring is here, at last, to take us by the hand and twirl us towards those flowers, happily exposed limbs, flip-flops, and fun outdoor activities that beckon to us like warm weather sirens.

Yes - today the skies are bright and shining, the high is over seventy degrees, there is a bright blue sky and it just puts a smile on my face. Sunny Skies make me Sunny Inside!!! I don't even mind being inside right now, knowing I'll get a glorious, sunny, warm day off this Friday for Good Friday (I LOVE my job that they give us this day off without me having to burn a vacation day!) I imagine that the parks this week and for the next few weeks will be packed with people, trotting out their dogs and children to enjoy the weather. I hope to find myself walking some of those parks myself this weekend!

The two Spring holidays are awesome too, I must say! I often lament the fact I don't have practicing Jewish friends to invite me to their family Passover meal. I've been to a real, live, in Hebrew, with AWESOME Jewish traditions, Seder meal once and only once. Sure, I've been to the educational Seder meals that the Catholic church has - NOT THE SAME.

As a Catholic, I found the Seder meal to be such a revelation of the foundations of the Catholic Mass and our traditions. It was this huge eye opener about those traditions and how they relate to my Catholic faith today and just blew wide open to me the deep spiritual significance and the ties between the promises of God to the people, and how he fulfilled those promises in Christ, to be a graft onto the vine of His People, so that we can all be saved and brought into One Family. :)

So, you can see how it makes me sad to not have a lovely Jewish family to adopt me, graft me onto their family vine, for their Passover meal. I think that it's a big shame that we as Christians don't pay more honor to this amazing tradition. It's glorious, beautiful, and I found it deeply touching.

Moving onto Easter! I've never really done Easter the protestant way - so I can't speak to the glories of those traditions - but the Catholic ones are SO interesting all by themselves! You have the whole of Holy Week celebrations. Our priests love it - but it's a LOT of work for them! :) Holy Thursday is one of my favorite services. Friday, there is literally someone doing something cool in the church every hour of the day. There is all day long adoration of Christ, they read the seven last words of Christ, they do the Stations of the Cross, and in the evening, they have a communion service (not mass) and the Veneration of the Cross.

This is actually an odd little tradition we have where everyone in the church comes up and kisses the cross. When I go to this service, I try to sit as far in the front as humanly possible so I don't have to kiss the cross after a lot of people. Seriously - I never seem to have trouble drinking from the communion cup - but the kissing of the cross, after so many people, that's where I have a hard jumping off point. I'm not sure if I'll go to that or not.

Then, Saturday morning, they often have blessing of baskets, food, and in the evening - Easter Vigil. Easter Vigil is AWESOME - Every Catholic should go at least once. It is a LONG service, practically three hours long. But, that's because that's when new people come into the church! It's when we baptize adults and older children, and when they pledge their hearts and their lives to Christ and formally become a member of His Body, as true believers! It's SO cool. :)

If you go to Vigil, you don't have to brave the crazy crowds on Sundays - when the C&E's show up - that's what we call the Catholics who only show up on Christmas and Easter. They come twice a year and make it hard for the rest of us to get a seat unless you come EARLY. It's cool - I'm glad they're there. :) But, I don't like kneeling on the floor, I'm too prissy for all of that. I'll do it if I have to - but who enjoys kneeling on the hard floor, I ask you?

Anyway, moving on to the other Tales to share since my last blog!

First up, we have the Easter Swap I did at my favorite yarn store, Only Ewe and Cotton Too in Alpharetta, GA (or if you are being technical, they are in the newly created town of Milton now - but it's still Alpharetta to me).

I had six other participants sign up. So, you ask, what is an Easter Swap? Good question, I'm glad you asked!

An Easter Swap in a yarn store is when you create an Easter Basket for your secret partner with some of their favorite things. Everyone fills out a survey when they sign up. I randomly assigned partners and sent them their partners survey - I put things on there like favorite colors, types of yarn, hobbies, sweets, etc.

Because the basket should have had about a 25$ value (or more if the basket maker were so inclined), and should include one handmade item, one skein of yarn, something sweet, and maybe something to make you feel special.

Here's the basket I created:

As you can see - my partner listed her favorite color as PURPLE. :) I also put in some purple yarn, two skeins because one didn't really have a lot of yardage on it. And I made her a purple spring weight cowl, lots of chocolate, including what she listed as her favorite candies. I put in bunny ears, and I made her some stitch markers, in purple of course, and put in a couple of buttons. I LOVE buttons, so I figured she would too. They were really cute wooden buttons with hearts carved on the front. :)

Here are some other shots from the Swap you might enjoy!

Here is my FAVORITE thing from my swap basket, HAND SPUN YARN! Isn't it gorgeous!? The artist is very talented - the photographer was talented too - isn't it a lovely shot!?

I also put out a little spread for my Easter Swap buddies - some veggie sushi, fruit, organic green tea (DELISH), and someone brought in a box of goodies from Alpine Bakery - OH MY GOSH those cookies were amazing. I had to control myself, big time.

All in all - it was a great success for my first organized live swap. I think we'll do it again this fall. I'm thinking Halloween and Christmas. I LOVE SWAPS!

So, after the swap - I hurried down the street to the Honeyboo house of love - where Jane was having a party for her little monkey's sixth birthday. I realized I've reported the little monkey as six years old previously in my blog - but that was my mistake - he's just a really big kid, lol - so, it's easy to mistake him. Plus, he's a smart little cookie.

She put on an Army Party - and boy did it go over well. The kids running around in their camo. Adults in camo too - they looked awesome. I'm not quite that cool, lol - but Camo and Easter Basket swaps don't quite go either.

I took a ton of photos - there was a Sponge Bob bouncy house - an obstacle course, Easter Egg Hunt, a cook out, loads of fun for everyone.

Here are a few shots from the awesomeness that was the day:

Here's what I got him. I was VERY proud of the excitement from the other little kids when they beheld his Star Wars Legos, lol. I had gone to Toys R Us earlier that day and hung out in the Lego aisle for a few minutes with a Star Wars Lego pack in one hand and a build your own car pack in the other and just stood there looking and contemplating on two of this, or two of that. While I was pondering this great question of the universe, two other kids, came into the aisle and grabbed the Star Wars packs for a party they were going to and that sealed it for me! I put back the cars, grabbed a second Star Wars pack, and a big base board for his other Legos. Brilliant move on my part to copy the other kids, lol, if I do say so myself *wink*. Here he is holding them up :).

My favorite parts of the party for the cute little monkey were the green tongues on the kids, from the green icing, that they kept sticking out at each other, watching the obstacle course, and then, after all the kids left, when we got into the bouncy house! I LOVE those things - it's been years and years and years since I've been in one! :) And let me tell you - it made me feel old. When you are little, you can get in the bouncy house, or a trampoline and bounce forever. Now, after ten minutes, I was breathing hard and my legs were like, what the what!? And I thought I was going to bounce out of my bra, lol. Definitely not the right lingerie for the occasion - but I didn't know a sports bra was in order, lol :)

Everyone had a great time, it was awesome, and I'm glad I went - even if it was hard for me knowing beforehand that once again - Jane had invited someone I don't want to socialize with. But, I was proud of me for just handling it without much trouble at all.

The pictures from the day will have me back into the gym with a quickness. If this sickness will ever go away. I have been sick for more than two weeks (off and on) - like Saturday - when all the activity was going on, I felt fine. But the next day - Scratchy, Scratchy throat. I blamed all the kiddos, lol. Little walking petri dishes of germs that they are.

So, Monday I went to see my regular doctor and he gave me a shot (OW!) and some prednisone and a stronger, longer rotation of antibiotics. That z-pack the lady doctor gave me didn't really do jack. I am starting to feel MUCH better after a few days of drugs. I know, I know - I can hear my homeopathic, naturalpathic sister's voice in my head about how pharmaceuticals just speed you up or slow you down - but I have to say - I like the speeding up of my immune system to kick this cold's buttocks! *wink*

Today is also the last day of our fiscal year at work - and we've had another great year financially, so the big boss took us all to Killer Creek for drinks and appetizers (i.e. dinner for me) after work. YUM! We did this a couple of years ago too. Their food is excellent there. I had my one glass of Riesling - but the food is so rich that it made my stomach hurt. I kind of wish we'd done dinner - it would have been a little healthier than the apps. But, our boss is cool for taking us out :)

So, over all, I'm very sunny today :)

Happy Spring/Easter/Passover!!

Toodles!

Not the Best Week if I'm being Honest...

2010-03-23T09:15:00.006-04:00

Hello Party People...

So, what have I been up to? I know, it's been too long since I've blogged. But I have a good excuse - as you will see.

So, last week, I had plans with my girl, 88. On Monday we went to a pre-game party down in midtown at the Hudson Grille. Which is an awesome little spot - I highly recommend it. The burger wasn't bad either. And they have a TON of beers on tap. They even had one of my favorite heffe's - Paulner. Yum.

Anyway - it was an event put on by the Buffalo Bills Backers of Atlanta in anticipation of the Buffalo Sabres hockey game the next night. There were some Sabres celebrities in attendance - which was super cool. The voice of the Sabres was there - and.... best of all: Lindy Ruff! Who is a former Sabres player and the current head coach!! It was super exciting!

I was in full bouncy Stephanie mode; 88 was amused.

I bought a hat and got it signed. :) I also got my picture taken with Mr. Lindy Ruff. Lo, how I hate the photo though - so we are not going to post it. I will put it on Facebook if we are facebook friends, at some point it will be there.

We left the party pretty early and I got home at a decent time and bundled myself into bed. And then, at 4:30 am, I woke up with a super-sore throat. Owies. I convinced myself that if I went back to sleep that in three hours when I woke up again, I'd feel better.

No such luck.

So, I stayed home to rest. I still went to the hockey game - but 88, sweet and diplomatic as she is, still commented on how lackluster my behavior was - not my typical shiny-happy-excited-for-hockey self. I was feeling very green in the car. It felt good to go out for the walk to the arena. The air was crisp but still on the warm side - and it felt good.

Did my beloved Sabres win? Alas, no. Ryan Miller, hero of silver medal USA hockey team, is the goalie for the Sabres. I was excited to see him play.

I was underwhelmed.

Miller let THREE - THREE! I REPEAT THREE pucks past him in the FIRST FIVE MINUTES!!! What the heck is that!?

The text I sent my guy friend "Officer Friday", also in attendance but in a different section, read something like, "I think Miller is gassy - someone give him a beano - he's stinking up the place!"

They took him out of the game before I even pressed "send" on that text.

But, those three pucks were the death knell before the game even got underway - and we couldn't recover. Despite scoring three goals ourselves;which is pretty dang good for hockey.

I got home at a decent hour but my bottom had dropped out - I was sick and miserable. So, I crashed.

I roused long enough in the morning to text my boss how sick I was and then fell back into my preferred state when sick: Unconscious.

When I woke up - hours later, I saw a text from my boss asking me if I could please come in because "the co-worker" was complaining of a sickness as well and needed to go home.

So, I dragged my sick butt into work for a half day - the co-worker took one look at me and bolted like a track star on steroids.

My eyebrows lifted as I watched him skeddadle faster than a bride at a dress shop 99$ sale.

And I thought to myself, I can barely talk, and he's putting in times worthy of Olympic qualifying trials - which one of us is sicker?

But, whatevs - he was already gone and there was work to do. It being a Wednesday, my boss soon left as well, and I was all alone. And it was busy; and the customers were not so very happy to talk to someone who could barely talk and was whispering their tech support to them.

Wednesday was also St. Patrick's Day. I am Irish, and thus LOVE St. Patrick's Day. I was full of pouty lip that I could not participate in the silliness of the American tradition of the day.

I was wearing a silly shirt, emblazoned with "Irish You Were Cute" with a rainbow, and I wore green earrings I'd made - and green socks (of course) and, my friends, it was super sad. There I sat - alone in my department - in my silly green outfit - sick as could be, and then, I made the scene all that more ridiculous by putting on my shamrock antenna.

And then, instead of going out to celebrate with other silly people in their silly green shirts, drinking beer, and having fun, my sick self went home - to knit. It was very, very sad.

Oh, and my week just gets better from there (she says sarcastically)

The next day, Thursday, I had a "lady doctor" appointment. When they tell you when you start going that it gets better - they lie - it does not get better. And I've polled my friends and we all agree that it is rather suck-tacular of a thing we as women do yearly. And we all seem to have our own coping strategy to get through the experience. Like other women I know, I like to get something delicious and bad for me after.

But, I also like to go home, put on soft jammies and retire into a good book for the remainder of the afternoon. It makes me happy.

And my appointment had been planned for a while - and everyone knew it.

So, that morning, I open my eyes and check my phone and I already have a text from my dear boss telling me that the reviled co-worker won't be in again and that he needs me to definitely come back after my doctor's appointment.

Ladies and gentleman: I saw red.

slkjaoityo0e497q239047uao;kfn;'klvn;awoighoej'p

Exactly.

So, good little girl that I am, I got ready for work, I went in - I left for my doctor's appointment. I do have, like, the best gynecologist in Atlanta. So, that does help. But still - no one likes to go to the lady doctor. \shudder\

She was sweet enough to give me antibiotics as I was still miserably sick, and had barely a voice. And then, I took my sweet time going back to work. I went and got a quick lunch at Mellow Mushroom. Meatball subs fall into my favorite foods that are so bad for me - so I had one there; excellent.

Then, I went to Target to have my prescription filled. And while I waited, I read from the eighth book in the Sookie Stackhouse series. I wasn't in soft jammies, ensconced in my giant ultimate sack (giant bean bag chair) under my Old Navy blanket with that book - but at least I had something good to read while I waited.

And then, with a heart full of resentment, I went back to work.

sigh.

Friday morning, I woke up to sunshine filled skies, chirping birds, and a hint of warmth to the day. It was lovely. But, I was still sick. And I thought to myself - surely "the co-worker" will be back today. And then, at lunch time, I fantasized, I could come home and change into those soft jammies I love when sick, and snuggle into my bed and sleep.

Sleep was my own personal Helen of Troy last week - the most beautiful thing in the world, and that which I desired above all else.

So, with this pleasant thought on my mind, I go into work, and my dreams broke into a thousand pieces with the sight of an empty co-worker desk waiting for me.

*GROAN*!

So, no lovely afternoon nap for me, my friends.

About mid-morning, I looked at my boss and I had worked myself into a rather good snit and I said, in my still ultra-gravelly voice, "I dragged my ass out of my sickbed so he could go home sick, isn't it his turn!?"

Good natured man that my boss is, he chuckled at me and then made some concessions in his appreciation of me coming in, SO SO Sick all week while that slack-ass-punk of a co-worker lazed about in bed (where I so longed to be) by giving me back the half day I missed on Wednesday and he's going to take me out for lunch this week sometime.

It did cool my ire. It's hard to be in a good-full-on-snit when your boss is so nice to you that way. *sigh*

And yes, my lovelies, when I got home, I got straight into jammies and into my love sack, had a talk with Mr. Big and then took a two hour nap. It was epically wonderful. I went to bed pretty early too.

Saturday, it was again GORGEOUS in Atlanta. I'm talking I busted out the flip-flops nice weather. LOVE IT! MUY appropriate for the first official day of Spring, and it made me happy to feel the sunshine kiss my cheeks and a warm breeze caress my bare arms. :)

I was still sort of sickly - but eons better than I had been. So, and I'd had a good sleep (finally)

I texted with Mr. Glass some, who seems to be popping up more and more lately. Which is lovely - I think he's aces.

And then, I went outside to enjoy some of that loveliness blanketing Atlanta. I went and picked up some pottery I'd painted. :) I went to get a smoothie. I stopped at Trader Joe's and got some of those sweet & spicy pecans I adore. Then, I went to Whole Foods to pick up a snack to take to The Love-Doves, my final destination.

The Sweet Love-Doves are super fabulous. The plan: Dinner & a movie.

Sometimes I do feel like a bit of a third wheel. They are so in love and awesome. They bought me chinese food. Which was funny - I'm sitting in the living room and I hear the delivery guy asking Mr. Love-Dove if Mr. Love-Dove remembers him from the last time he delivered Chinese food. Mr. Love-Dove is like, "wha..?"

So, I start teasing him that the delivery guy has a crush on him and singing, "He's got a CRUSH on you!!" My comedy went unappreciated, grin.

The movie was New Moon, which had just been released.

For my girls: HOLY HECK - that movie is full of shirtless hotness. And yeah - the Taylor kid is cute - but he's too young. The real hotness was Sam. And well, Emmit. Edward without his shirt on is not full of hotness, sorry to say. I want to see Emmit divested of his shirt in the next movie. Producers, directors: ARE YOU LISTENING!? *wink*

The Love-Doves do have a new blue-ray and it is rather amazing. The scenes in Italy in the square, for example, were remarkably beautiful.

Anywho - that was pretty much my week.

The co-worker is at work this week. He had the audacity to try to elicit sympathy from ME for him being sick last week.

As if.

And winter has returned for a reminder of it's icy fingers - but hopefully that's done with! Seriously, I saw SNOW on my windshield and during my drive into work Monday morning? I was wearing flip flops on Saturday and on Monday there are snow flurries.

Insanity.

But, the sun will be peeking out today and it will once again be 70 degrees tomorrow. So, hopefully my good mood will come back with the sun. Because, on this Tuesday morning, I have murder on my mind.

Whose? Can't you guess: The Co-Worker. I'm sure I'll be more disposed towards friendliness after I have some Cinnamon Red Tea. :) Which I will go make now!

Toodles!

Rude much?

2010-03-02T17:16:00.005-05:00

Okay - so it's been awhile since we've had a bad date story contender. It's not that I haven't been on any first dates - it's just that we haven't had any that were making bids for a baddie award.

This is a guy who seemed to ask too many specific questions on the phone - like wanting to know which gym I go to. Why do you need to know that before we've even met in person? Why? So, I was like, "That's not really info I give out - I don't like to encourage stalking." (Hee, hee - I really did say that to him.)

But anyway - other than that he seemed fine, so I consented to the first date - consisting of a beverage. And it being Friday - that beverage was deemed to be a beer.

So, first he's LATE. I would like to point out that he lives closer to the restaurant than I do. We went to Chammp's up here in Alpharetta. And he calls me and says he's turning onto North Point, having missed the turn (whatever). So, I expected him within three to five minutes. After all, it's the first light there. It was closer to ten. Did he walk from the intersection? No, I think he was fudging on where he was.

Whatever, no biggie in the grand scheme.

He ordered a beer and I got one too - a blue moon (yum) - and everything was going just fine.

He was within acceptable cuteness parameters - even if not overtly attractive to me. A good personality could have easily closed that gap.

So, he's talking about how drained he is on Fridays from work. And I mention that I had a great week at work. I'd given my Reader's Digest version of the Telephone Doctor Training to my co-workers and our big boss liked it so much he sent me FLOWERS!

Pause... so pretty! Wait - we need a few more closeups of the blooms for full appreciation of their splendor:

Okay - I digress - so I'm telling him this story about the customer service training and he's like - "where do you work?" (He does customer service for a web site.) So, I tell him, and tell him it's a small company, and that I do tech support for said company - and he... wait for it... he asks me how much money I make!!!

I am not kidding.

I balk - and he starts fishing aggressively for a ten grand ball park. I relent a little and he gets a look on his face that lets me know I make more and he comes back with a condescending (tone and everything) remark about how "that's pretty good for *customer service*".

Oh Hell No You Just Didn't! <--- that was the alarm that went off in my head with the remark about "customer service".

So, I shoot back very calmly - "Actually, I'm a Senior Technical Support Engineer" - Emphasis on the Engineer.

Seriously - who does he think he is - I wasn't all like, "Oh, you walk people through how to use a website - that's super exciting." in the full Sarcastic Stephanie voice. No - I didn't.

Luckily - the date ended very shortly after that.

He actually did text me the next day - asking after some BBQ place in Alpharetta. I texted the name of the restaurant and that was it. Hopefully, he will slink away into the night, never to darken my door, or rather my text inbox again.

Happy Valentine's and Happy Lent! (and a very yarn-y tale)

2010-02-19T10:57:00.009-05:00

Yes, yes - I am a blogging slacker. But, I've been much better this year than last. This will be a multi-topic blog - as many of them have been of late.

First up - Valentine's Day/Singles Awareness Day. (Check out my cute stuffed hearts!)

So, as those of you who know me well are aware - I consider myself single - but I have a pseudo-boyfriend. He's my ex-boyfriend - who loves me bunches, and will never give up on me. Which is sweet. But, I know, not one hundred percent healthy of me to keep him around from time to time. He knows I date. He knows that I want to get married and have babies. And by virtue of the the fact that he is completely opposed to having babies, he's out of the running for most fabulous husband of moi.

Still, it's nice to have a big, strong, hot man tell you on a regular basis how amazing you are - and once every couple of months or so, let him come up from South Georgia for a visit and wrap me up in those big, strong arms for a cuddle. And so, that's what I will be doing this weekend - enjoying cuddles. He will also clean out my fridge and take out my trash. :) I do really love that about him :)

He also sent me flowers for Valentine's day - they were lovely:

The reason it is so lovely is that our dear Mr. Big is not a born romantic. He's not a born cuddler either for that matter. These are things that he has slowly grown into - just a little bit - over the last decade. Before sending me flowers for my birthday in 2008, he'd never sent a woman flowers, ever - not even his mother.

He quickly learned that it was only beneficial to him to make a woman that happy. :) Which is why, I'm assuming I got the flowers. Although his reason was "A pretty girl like you deserves pretty things." It was so cliche that it was darling. He got major brownie points, lol. The fact that he generally does not recognize holidays in general - but he sent me flowers, at the right time - with a Valentine's message on the card, just makes it extra special.

It was funny that he didn't sign the card. How awkward would that have been if I sent him a thank you email and a photo of the flowers and they weren't actually from him! LOL. :) He's so cute.

In other news - this week was the start of Lent. A totally awesome time of year - even though it can be tough. Tough is the point - if we don't experience His death - how can we celebrate His resurrection!?

So, Mr. Tennis and I went to the Ash Wednesday service. The scripture reading was all about praying and almsgiving in secret - so that you get your reward in heaven and not on earth. If we are lauded by our peers for our devotions, then we are rewarded now and not later. So, I'm hesitant to share my Lenten commitments all out here and online and stuff.

I've already told some friends. But, I'm going to be good. What I AM going to share is my ideas on what makes for a decent lenten commitment.

1) Lent is not a diet. Don't treat it like it is. It's about giving up something you really enjoy with the full intent on enjoying it again after Lent is over. So, if you eat chocolate daily - and you plan on eating it again regularly after lent - then it's a good sacrifice. If you drink soda everyday and you plan on doing so again after Lent - then sure, give it up.

If you are giving something up for lent that you plan on giving up FOREVER - then it isn't a lenten commitment - it's a New Year's Resolution. Go for it - but don't call it your lenten resolution.

2) Your sacrifice should be something that you can notice and resist at least twice a day - and then use that time to think about Jesus. Lent is about the suffering and sacrifice of Jesus. So, when you see that free for all plate of double chocolate brownies in the employee break room - and you know you want one - think to yourself - what's worse, denying myself chocolate or hanging on the cross? And then marvel at how insignificant this little moment of self-imposed-suffering is in comparison to that amazing sacrifice for YOU that He made. :)

3) Don't go out of your way to avoid temptation. Temptation during lent is a gift of opportunity to fulfill your lenten promises. Be grateful that you have the strength to carry through your promises.

4) If you ACCIDENTALLY fail - don't beat yourself up too badly. Say a prayer - do something nice for someone else and you're likely square (ask a priest if he thinks this is cool - I'm sure he will say it is). MANY MANY MANY times I have gotten back from lunch and realized it's Friday - it's Lent - I just had a chicken sandwich. D'oh! You aren't going to Hell, lol - even if your best friend looks at you gravely and tells you that you are. He/She is messing with you - and if they aren't - they seriously need to drink a beer and chill out.

And...

5) Lent isn't just about giving stuff up - it's about adding stuff too. It's about doing stuff for other people than yourself. It's about loving your neighbor and being selfless like Christ was selfless. Some people do the rice bowl thing - where they eat a bowl of rice instead of a meal and give the difference in grocery money to charity. Or they volunteer in some capacity as a part of Lent. It's also about Adding in some special religious type devotions. My parents get up and go to 6:30am mass EVERYDAY during lent. (That one amazes me). Some people add religious readings, going to adoration, going to confession more often - stuff like that. I'm a big fan of adding something selfless to the mix. It helps connect you to the mission of Christ (in my humble opinion).

Okay that is the end of my list. Now let's talk about Fridays. Today Mrs. LoveDove and I went out for lunch and I dined on delicious Falafals - in a wrap. And I got baba ganoush of course as well. It was tasty. I LOVE Greek food. I should mention that EVERY Lent -at least one of my friends looks at me with disbelief on their faces when I confirm that no - I still, will not, will not, will not eat fish or seafood on Fridays (or ever). And they ask, "But what do you eat!?"

So, for your educational non-fish, yet no meat either food education, here is my annual list of things you can eat - that really, really don't involve either meat of seafood and are still yummy:

Cheese pizza - or veggie pizza
Spinach Quesadilla
Spinach Calzone
Tomato soup and grilled cheese
Falafal wrap
Salads!
Veggie soups (Jason's Deli Broccoli and Cheese is not Vegetarian! boo!)
Cheese Tortellini with marinara - or cheese Ravioli with marinara
Veggie lasagna
Veggie plates - make three or four of your favorite veggies and put 'em on a plate. Delish!
I don't eat this - but people like it - Portabella mushroom sandwich
Those veggie burgers that are spicy - yum.
Baked Potato with cheese and sour cream and chili powder! (Chili powder makes everything better, trust me)
Greek Food - Spanokopita, baba ganoush, tabouleh, dolmas, fatoush - all of it is Ah-maze-ing.
For breakfast I never eat meat anyway - but I do love a good everything bagel, toasted with veggie cream cheese. Yum.

I do try to stay away from all the meatless soy products. My sister has me convinced that too much soy will kill you. And it's loaded with estrogen which isn't good either. So - be careful!

Next Topic: Knitting of Course!

So, I learned how to fair isle knit - which is knitting with two colors at once. I made a Red and Orange hat - but it came out more red and brown. So, I bought a brighter orange to make Jane's little 5 year old monkey a new hat - I've started it - but it's not done. I really love this style of knitting. There is so much you can do - the amount of coolness I have seen on Ravelry (the facebook for knitters) has me itching to buy a whole color palette of yarn and get to work on designs :)

And I promised a Yarn-y tale - here it is:

Wednesday, when Mr. Tennis and I were at church the other night I saw a friend - MamaYam, and her little ones. Her son was wearing a cool knitted jacket - store bought - but cool - and it had this big whole in the arm where the yarn had been cut and it was unraveling. I said to myself, "self - I bet you could fix that."

I mentioned the hole and and MamaYam was like, I just need to sew it up for him so it doesn't get worse. And the little man was like, "Mo-om, it has to be KNIT."

I grinned at him - what a smart little man he is. :) And I offered to fix it for them. I haven't ever done anything like that - but I thought, "How hard can it be?"

It was only when I got my hands on it that I realized it was lined and I couldn't get to the back of the knitted part to do a "proper surgery"; so to speak. So, that night I laid in bed thinking about solutions. She also said it is his FAVORITE jacket - so I wanted to fix it in a hurry. I can't leave the poor lad without his favorite coat during the winter!

I thought about how to close it up without too much visible trauma. And considered perhaps elbow patches - but the hole was above where the elbow was.

I felt like a yarn-y pooh-bear sitting on a root in the Hundred-Acre-Wood tapping my head with my fuzzy paw saying, "Think, think, think." I started to formulate a plan and I was pretty set on the patches anyway.

Last night was Thursday; which is the late night for the Cast-on Cottage. My 2nd favorite LYS (Luxury Yarn Store for my non-knitting peeps) in the area and they have some awesome alpha-knitters that hang out there. So, off I went after work to try and find a matching color.

I WISH I had taken a before shot of the hole - it was getting kind of massive. I found an Ella Rae wool that was a VERY close match to the color of the jacket - which was a very dark, almost black Navy. And I sat down with some size US8 double point needles and a crochet hook and some removable stitch markers and got to work.

I used the hook to pull all the loose loops back towards the main hole and put in a stitch marker to hold them there - and that left me eventually with eight live stitches - I pulled the ends of the broken yarn back out of two more stitches to give me ten stitches and I wove those loose ends back through the back of the knitted garment (purl side).

I attached my yarn to the actual garment by first weaving in the end on the inside of the work - knowing that I couldn't get to the back later as it's already lined.

Next, I put the ten stitches onto three double points. Using the new yarn, I'd already pre-attached to the piece, I knitted around once, then noticed I needed to pick up two more to make sure there were no holes - and now had twelve stitches. I knitted maybe two rounds, until the stitches were close.

I then divided the stitches evenly between two needles and grafted the live stitches with the Kitchner and then wove in my one live end. And I have to say - the result was pretty good! The yarn ladies were all impressed with my repair ingenuity. :) I was pretty proud too!

It doesn't look perfect - but it will hold and he won't have an unraveling sleeve anymore. :) And it looks good enough that we can forgo the patches all together! I was pretty proud of the idea to graft it. :)

Also, while we are talking about all things yarn: A new friend in Savannah - PoolerPeach, has become my new yarn pusher. The yarn store down there, Wild Fibre is moving to a new location and all the yarn is 40% off! FORTY PERCENT!!!!!! So, she picked me up some Aslan Trends yarns that I can't get at my two favorite LYS locally.

Again... pause to acknowledge that this awesome yarn was FORTY percent off! (joy!) And I have six skeins coming my way!

There is some Kettle Dyed Worsted weights in blue, and some sock yarn in Pink Mist and some soft merino in a dark green. I am very excited to get my hot little hands on this soft stash of yarn.

Hello - My name is Stephanie, and I'm addicted to Yarn.

I own it (wink).

For the non-knitters - I'm sure that was pretty boring. :) Sorry.

So, that's basically my last week in review! :)

I hope you all have a lovely day!

A Tale of Lunch Woes - With a HAPPY Ending!

2010-02-11T10:01:00.003-05:00

Happy Thursday Party-People :)

So, I have an interesting little story to share. (At least it's interesting to me, and I write for my own benefit - so there you go).

I wasn't originally going to blog about this because it wasn't shiny-happy in the least - but because it now has a happy ending, I'll go ahead and blog about it. :) (Remember that there is a HAPPY ending)

A couple of weeks ago my boss-a-rooni announced that he was taking me and "the co-worker" out for a team lunch - because we are awesome. Plus, there's money in the budget for such things and we never do them :)

Always one to avoid seafood restaurants at all costs, I suggested one of my favorite restaurants, 5 Seasons Brewery in Alpharetta because I love their food, and there is plenty of non-fishy cuisine on the menu. The lunch menu is smaller than their fabulous dinner menu - but they generally have a lot of specials. I once got a lovely lamb sandwich that was a special, for example :)

So, as you can see, I've been there several times. Indeed, this is the micro-brewery that changed my opinion that ALL beer is nasty. Their heffeweissen is actually quite wonderful. It is because of them that I give any beer a chance. Although, generally only craft-type-wheat beers get any play with me.

But, I digress (as I often do): I suggested it for lunch because I love the food. And I'd been their for lunch once previously with the sales-person-of-twinkly-eyes and his lovely girlfriend and it was delightful.

Well... it was not so delightful this time. And me, being well... me - I (queue dramatic music) wrote a letter! I used to do this more often. I don't do it so much anymore. Things have to be pretty extreme for me to go through the trouble of actually writing one of the dreaded Stephanie-is-not-a-happy-camper letters. But, I was decidedly NOT a happy camper, so I wrote a letter. :)

Okay - not to keep you waiting a moment longer, here is the letter I sent to the manager that afternoon with the little story of the not-so-delightful experience:

Hello,

I just wanted to fill you in on the lunch experience we had today in your Alpharetta, 5 Seasons restaurant.

I have always been a fan of your restaurant. Your heffe is the very reason I now give beer a chance! And while I'm not a regular, per se, I've been in several times and even brought in people for a birthday party in one of your private upstairs rooms. So, when my boss said he wanted to take the two of us to lunch today, I suggested your establishment because I have always enjoyed it so much.

And while we did enjoy the food today - we will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever be back for lunch .... ever.

Why you ask? That's simple: It took more than 90 minutes from when we walked through the doors until we walked out of them. In a business environment, this is unacceptable. We ordered our app, and fifteen minutes later, finally got it. We then had to ask to order our food by flagging down another waitress. We even to flag down people to refill our drinks, and get our check. And between the time we ordered our food and received it was at least a half an hour. And the restaurant was practically empty at the time as well. And I am not one to really blame the kitchen here, because of the overall slowness of service we received.
Even when we asked for our check and got it - when she disappeared with it - it was a VERY long wait before it came back, perhaps ten minutes. The co-worker who didn't ride with me and my boss went ahead and left, the wait was so long.

I strongly suspect that the lunch crowd was so thin because once people realize how long it takes to get their meal, eat and leave, that it is well outside the one hour time frame the working world gets for lunch. It's likely that they don't go back to your restaurant for this reason and this reason alone. We both know your food is really good; but it doesn't matter if the food is good or not if eating there can get you fired for taking two hour lunches.

How long were we gone from the office? Well, we were gone from the office for one hour and fifty minutes. Twenty of those minutes were the ten minutes to and from the office. And it took us a maximum of 30 minute to eat (and that's being generous). Most of the time we spent in your restaurant was wondering where the wait staff was. And you and I both know that even with only average service, you shouldn't have to flag people down to order your food, or ask for your check.

As I said, I really like your restaurant. And I know, if it were my restaurant, that I would want to know why I had only a few diners in during peak lunch time when there are so many office buildings nearby. And as we know the food is good (I had the bbq pork sandwich today - and it was spicy-deliciousness), so that means the reason falls to service.

I was, to be frank, embarrassed that I had suggested your restaurant today for lunch. While the people we flagged down were friendly, and though they weren't our waitress, and they were eager to please and get us what we needed - it took forever. And it could just be that the kitchen was slow - and even if they were - they weren't alone.

Seriously, there is no reason it should take ten minutes to run a credit card in a practically empty restaurant. I'm not saying I won't visit your restaurant in the future. I will, but never, ever, ever...ever, ever - for lunch. The circle of trust is broken - if my boss hadn't been with me, I would have been in serious trouble for being away from the office so long. As it was, he was worried about his boss freaking out. And that definitely was embarrassing for me, as you can imagine.

And I signed off with a best wishes :)

And got nuthin' back by the next afternoon. Which did not make me feel warm and fuzzy.

So, again, me being me - and having drunk the Telephone Doctor kool-aid with stunning results only recently (I'm all filled up with high customer servcie expectations), I really did expect a response of some kind. So, what did I do? I forwarded my email to the owners.

And I got a response back later that night with a very nice, "I'm so sorry - can I send you a gift card." type email. It was very nice to be acknowledged. And I thanked him for responding to me. Because it was rather nice :) Warm-fuzzy feelings achieved. :)

So, I sent him my business address - after all - rarely check my apartment complex mailbox (don't judge me - I pay all my bills online - why make an extra trip out into the cold everyday for copies of bills I've already seen and junk mail- seriously)

Important things - like packages I have sent to my office - I get all my yarn delivered to the office, for example (pause to think about yarn, glorious yarn.. soft, richly colored, textured - fabulous yarn!). So, I figured why not give them that address.

And I didn't give much thought to it. :)

I just knew that I wouldn't eat lunch there again - but I'd definitely go there again. The food is rather good! And they make my favorite heffe!!

But, you think that's the happy ending don't you?? Well, it's not - that would have been a content with adequate warm-fuzzies ending - but I promised you HAPPY - HAPPY is what you shall get.

So, Tuesday afternoon, I was happily sitting at my desk - having finished a second stuffed heart while taking LONG calls that day. And we hear a "Hellooo" coming from the lobby. We are a very small company - and have no need for a receptionist. So, the front desk has a bell, that not everyone cares to ring. I remember when I came here for my second interview years ago - I eyed the bell suspiciously and looked around the corner - saw no one and then just went looking for my future boss - popping up silently (like a NINJA!) beside his cube and smiling and basically saying, "hello - here I am." :)

So, I wasn't surprised to hear a distant "Hellooo" from the front of the office. My boss, got up to go see who was there. (He's really a sweetie) - and comes back and tells me it's someone for me.

Okay....

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever get surprise guests at work.... ever.

Once on my birthday - in 2008 - Mr. Big sent me flowers. But, my birthday is in October. And it is not presently the month of October.

So, up to the front I go and there is a very tall man and... (queue orchestra playing a suitably shocking music arrangement for five seconds in your head) with him is our waitress from Friday! (seriously!)

I kid you not.

They were very apologetic - wanted to explain how she was managing and waiting tables on Friday - and how that's not okay - and it won't happen again. Told me how my email was a big topic of conversation during their weekly staff meeting (I can only imagine). Then, they give me 20$ gift certificates not just for me but also for my boss and "the coworker"! Then, they also followed that up with an invite for my little office to their place for a happy hour one day after work! (SERIOUSLY!)

WOW.

(you totally just wow'ed with me there in your head didn't you?! lol)

It was a total wow moment.

That was so far and away exceptional service and what not that I was totally blown away. I was very proud of them. That is far and away the best display of a commitment to excellence and I couldn't believe it. You don't see that kind of thing in the world today, and I was totally impressed. How could I not be!? (seriously - you're impressed, aren't you? How could you not be!? *grin*)

Wouldn't you agree that they definitely gave this little story a happy-ending!? It's like my warm fuzzies were tribbles and my happy little ship was bursting with them--- but in a good way - not in a parasitic cuties way.

Me, I think it's the equivalent of a restaurant fairy tale *grin*. And in the fairy tale, the manager is like the fairy god mother - but instead of a sparkly dress and flimsy glass shoes, he's given me a gift card that I can buy awesome beer with. I'd much rather have that than some shoes I'd likely (true to form) sprain my ankle in! *wink*

So, after all that their status has been re-affirmed as one of the best, nicer restaurants in Alpharetta :)

SO, I am going to strongly recommend you go there; drink some craft beers, eat some delicious food, and enjoy the atmosphere! :)

Here's to happy endings! *clinking my glass with yours* (wink)

Toodles!

Geaux Saints! (and other adventures)

2010-02-10T14:27:00.004-05:00

Hello Blog-land,

So, we had another action packed weekend. And I'm finding myself sleepy on Monday morning from all the weekend activity. I think I will be taking part of this week to explore the gardens in the land of low key. I need some restful time. :) Indeed, I'm starting to feel the pull of the land of low key so acutely that I'm considering spending a few nights down at the local center of low-key-wonderfulness: The Monastery of the Holy Spirit (choirs of angels sing .... literally... wait, maybe they are chanting... it is a monastery after all)... Anywho - I digress... I had a busy weekend.

Let's see - Friday night, Mr. Tennis came over and we went to Jason's Deli where I made a gorgeous salad. It was most excellent - then we went back to my apartment and watched Coraline. That animated movie with the little girl and the button eyed people..... CREEPY!!!!!!!

Seriously creepy movie - so creepy that I doubted it's suitable-ness for the wee ones of the world. Creeeeeeeppppyyyy.....

That's my official movie review.

Saturday I got up on the early side of noon - and drove over to the best little Irish pub in North Georgia, the Blind Olde Dog - located in historic Crabapple, to have lunch with my girl, 88. Holy cannoies that place is awesome! The decor alone is worth it - almost all of it is imported from the UK, giving it that intimate, cluttered, rich Irish pub feel. :) You will love it if you go, I promise you (wink).

Then, I went over to the yarn store and got some lovely yarn- and sat and knitted for a few minutes - and showed off my first kitchner stitches. :) Good times.

Saturday night, Mr. Tennis came and picked me off and we went right back over to historic Crabapple to Milton's - a fancy little restaurant I'd never been to before. It was a company dinner - which equals FREE - and therefore awesome. And the food certainly was awesome - we had like every appetizer on the menu. My favorite was a toss up between the fried artichokes with red pepper aioli and the pimento cheese dip. For dinner I had the fillet Mignon - which was also tender and amazing. It came with blue cheese mac & cheese. Which some people loved and some weren't overly fond of. I fell into the not overly fond of. Blue cheese is a strong, often over-powering taste. And a little goes a long way.

I think I've come to accept that the only place I really like blue cheese is on my hot wings. Seriously.

They also brought out every dessert on the menu. Holy heck - it was like fat girl heaven. I kid you not. There was Red Velvet cake, white chocolate cheese cake, chocolate ganache cake, carrot cake, and wait for it... can you hear the singing angels/chanting monks/echoes of children's laughter? Blueberry cobbler with home-made ice cream.

It was so good I may have to go there sometime JUST for the cobbler - it was that good.

I stayed up late on Saturday night finishing up my Burberry Inspired Cowl - it is delicious. It's not in that Burberry Tan color or anything - it's quite teal-like and fabulous. One might say that it's a blueberry-burberry inspired cow! *wink* It's warm, but not hot - and it's soft and wonderful. I love it.

Mr. Tennis took my picture in it:

Anyway, speaking of Mr. Tennis, he came to get me to go to church around 3:30pm, on Sunday - we had to go to Target to get our donations for the Nicaragua mission trip down to the Mustard Seed Orphanage that St. Brigid supports down there. It's a REALLY great charity - if you're looking for one to support - check it out! http://www.mustardseed.com/ .

Leaving target to head to the church, Mr. Tennis rolled right through a stop sign near my complex. He didn't even really pause, he just sailed right through as he turned - and sitting prettily around that corner were, you guessed it, two cops. Roswell cops though - and we were clearly in Alpharetta.

Mr. Tennis says, "Are they going to pull me over?" and I said, "Yes.". And Sure enough, on went the pretty blue lights and up comes the very yummy cop. He was delicious. Mr. Tennis was all like, "We're on our way to church." lol. The cop was all "You know why I pulled you over, right? For running the stop sign?" Mr. Tennis didn't even answer - he just made that "indeed" face.

Let us now pause to acknowledge that when Mr. Tennis tells the story - the cop asked the question with a little something extra: "You know why I pulled you over, don't you, boy?" I would like to point out that this cop was too young and too hot to do any such thing (wink).

Fast Forward to Tuesday - I roll up to that intersection from the other direction and there is now a stop sign in the MIDDLE of the street - like between the turn lane and the .. go straight lane - and 's a yield sign where the stop sign was originally. I laughed and was like - Hmm.... that stop sign got mowed down more than once by my drunk-ass neighbors at least once already - what makes them think it's going to fare better in the MIDDLE of the fracking street!?

Yep - I went home for lunch that day and the stop sign had been run over already - the post was snapped and bent and it was lying in the road. People weren't stopping, either, lol.

Fast forward to 9:30pm when I rolled back through that intersection and the new yield sign is gone the stop sign is back in it's original location.

It was freaking hilarious. (seriously).

Moving right along: After the near ticket - Mr. Tennis and I proceeded to be good little Catholics and go to mass. Church was great - Fr. Diosmar was our celebrant and he sang a lilting hymn - that was beautiful... and he rapped too. It was quite the experience. I really like that priest :)

Then, after church, it was time for one of my favorite things of the whole year: SUPERBOWL!!!

Seriously - the Superbowl is like a holiday for me! I love it, love it, love it! It is always sad when your favorite team isn't playing. But this year I'd selected a team to give my Superbowl love to: The New Orleans Saints. (You can check last week's blog for confirmation - wink).

And thus it came to pass that I had oodles and oodles of fun watching the game. Although, the two giant Blue Moon beers I had may've helped with that a bit too *wink*.

I really did have a lot of fun; unlike the die-hard Colts fans, I'm sure. Who had to watch their Defense kick back to enjoy the Saints' game after the Colts scored their first Touchdown.

And - the interception in the second half was one of the best parts of the game. I thoroughly enjoyed that.

I have three very favorite plays in football and they are as follows.
The Interception (Or INT I like to say)
The Sack (and also why I <3 Deacon Jones with squishy football love) and which leads us to:
The Safety.... seriously - you get the Sack of a very desperate Quarterback in such a vicious way as to give the Defense two points for their team - it's particularily wonderful :)

If you know football - you will see that all three are Defensive happenings. On the offensive side, I have to say I like a good Lateral pass - though that was ruined for me for a good long while after the Music City Miracle some years past. I was a right bitch after that little series of moves for a good two hours afterward.

Anyway - I was quite happy to see the Saints win the big game in their first Superbowl appearnce :) It was a warm-fuzzy moment :) And my voice isn't very strong today at work. Although, one might say that it's a sexy version of my usually cheerful tones (wink)

Today, I had lunch with Mrs. Love-dove - it was quite lovely.

TGIF

2010-02-05T12:14:00.006-05:00

So, yesterday I stayed home with nausea. There are few things in life I don't abide well and one of them was nausea. So, around quarter til five in the morning I was like, holy cannolies - this sucks.

I thought for sure it had been dinner. Mr. Tennis and I went to a local favorite of mine, Alessio's. And I'd had sausage & peppers, and fried zucchini. And as I was sitting on the edge of my tub at 5:30 in the morning, wondering if I'm going to evacuate my dinner, I sat and brooded about how those evil people made me sick.

At 5:45 am I realized that there was no way I could be happy and cheerful missing this much sleep and being as nauseous as I was so I texted my boss. "Been up for an hour with nausea - Alessio's is officially outside the circle of trust - will talk to you later."

Did Alessio's make me sick? Not so much. It was just a stomach bug.

I got up and intended on going into work for the afternoon. I got all dressed in my work clothes and was ready to go - but thought I should feed myself before going. So, while contemplating what to eat - I drank some fortified juice - an organic concoction I get at Whole Foods - they are delicious.

And I almost puked it all up.

So, that was my first clue it wasn't the previously reviled cooks at Alessio's who were to blame for the roiling nausea that had become my predominant focus of the day.

So, I sat there on my couch - knitting and practicing some even breathing techniques to keep me out of the bathroom. And here is the itty-bitty-cutie that was produced:

I would like to point out that I also successfully did my first kitchener stitches - which is a way to graft the ends of your work so that it looks all pretty and wonderful! And I was pleased with this, my first effort. Many thanks to the Knit Witch for her YouTube video instructions. (I follow her blog - go check it out!)

And while we are sharing finished off projects - perhaps I should share a photo of my now finished tea bag cozy of facebook fame:

Itty-bitty-cuties seem to be my current theme. :)

ALTHOUGH! I did get in EIGHT skeins of wonderfulness in the mail this morning! I was SO happy to see my three little packages from other Ravelry.com members! I'd run out of these yarns while I was in the middle of knitting projects with them - and these lovely ladies came to my rescue :) So - I will finish my burberry inspired cowl this weekend - and a hat for my dad in the near future :)

So, I walked into work to that little treat and a big smile.

I'm still waiting for my international yarn swap package - it got returned to her - but I now know my package is coming from Norway - HOW COOL IS THAT!?!?!?!?!

Answer: VERY COOL!

Some of the best knitting in the world originates from that part of the world, so I'm curious to see what she's included for me.

She also seems ultra-sweet, and that's awesome too!

So, let's see... where are we in my stream of thought... I was sick yesterday - oh - yeah - I ate like a third of a bottle of spicy ginger miso for the nausea-reducing ginger content - and I think it worked pretty well! Now, I need more spicy ginger miso, lol.

I also finally succumbed to the siren call of Pandora.com this week. I'm listening to it as we speak - and the dulcet tones of Dave Matthews are caressing my ears as I type this. (sigh of happiness here)

Mrs. Love-Dove even figured out how to gift me a channel - which is so very sweet of her. :)

My weekend will likely be quite busy - there is something tonight that I might go to with Mr. Tennis to.

Then, Saturday we will see my girl, 88 for lunch and perhaps some crafting goodness. Then, there is a surprise dinner Saturday night at a restaurant I've always wanted to go to! And Sunday is the SUPERBOWL!!!!

Which, is a major-Stephanie-holiday. Although, I have no real plans for it this year. I imagine that I will be hanging out with Mr. Tennis again, as we are going to go to church on Sunday. I only know of one party - and it's a good one - just far, far away. And I'm not all about far, far away.

Okay - so, I really, really, really would love for the Saints to win. I love their little Cinderella story. And I do like the Colts just fine. But, they've been to the big show - and I love to root for the under-dog. :)

If the Colts play cleanly - there's no reason they shouldn't win. But, I hope the Saints prevail in the end. :)

Happy Friday!!! :)

There goes the Neighborhood!

2010-02-03T09:56:00.005-05:00

So, my hair appointment yesterday afternoon was a success. It took for blasted ever, but I'd brought my knitting, so I was happy.

I sat there happily knitting my little teabag cozy. .... pausing for you to consider the ramifications of that little name.... I didn't even get it at first - but it caused quite a ruckus with one of my friends in Arkansas and her friends on facebook.

It was a good long while before I got the joke. lol. Now, I need to send her one! Although for actual bags of tea - not... well, never-mind.

Anywho - I'm now a brunette. My boss and I had a conversation this morning that my much darker hair wasn't what he considered brunette. I was like, say what!?

He thinks black hair is brunette. I was like, no - that's "Raven-haired". And he was like, NO ONE says that - I was like, you should read the books I read, and laughed.

We will now pause for a true confession: Sometimes I like to read really trashy historical romance novels. They are fun, and laden with interesting adjectives :)

I love my stylist. And the salon, Free Spirit Salon, in Roswell, is excellent. The owner's "booth" was next to my stylists. And his name is Victor (kind of public knowledge, no sense nicknaming him). My stylist is super sweet. And Victor is quite nice too. I sat there, listening to his conversation with his first patron and decided he was interesting, intelligent and just as sweet as my stylist.

But, as I think I said, my color took a hella-long time to process. So, a second woman came in to see him.

Oh. My. GOSH!!!!!!!!!!

She was totally Debbie-Doom-And-Gloom! This woman sat there and started to just regurgitate all the bad things that had happened or were happening to every single person she knows or knows of. I was like, seriously!?

So, this sweet man, Victor, went from being all lively to having this look on his face that had me wanting to give him a hug. And there he is - held hostage cutting the hair of a walking, talking cause of depression.

I was seriously surprised that there wasn't a permanent rain cloud fixed over her head that would thunder periodically, just before she would open her mouth with another Cassandra proclamation of DOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!

Okay - back to our regular programming (wink): So, my super-fabulous-wonderful hair stylist finished with my wonderful color and she didn't cut off too much hair - and I went out into the parking lot and the wind gusted and blew up my hair in that perfect super-model with a wind machine way and I smiled.

I have to wonder though, what the wonderful amazing hair stylist does to my hair to give it that lift and movement. I don't know, but she's just a hair-genius. :)

Here is a little photo of my dark locks:

I posted a photo of my hair and one of my facebook friends was all: "There goes the brunette community" - as if - they are only enriched by my stunning and effervescent presence in their ranks (wink, lol)

After getting my hair done I drove over to the yarn store (Only Ewe and Cotton Too) for my continental knitting workshop (with introduction to fair isle knitting). I was SO excited and when I got there they were like, Oh that's not today!

Yes, I started to freak out. I KNEW I was right that it had been on the calendar. And, yet, no one seemed to know anything about it. But, it turned out that I was indeed right and the teacher got there right about the time class started.

So, I initially learned to knit "English" - and that's where you hold your yarn in the right hand and wrap it around your needle with your right hand.

Continental Knitting is where you hold your yarn in the left hand and you pick at the yarn rather than wrap it around. And the knitting part I picked up just fine. But the purling - which is where you put your needle in the front - did not go so easily.

That was one of the more frustrating experiences of my life. Seriously. I was close to tears before I finally started to get the hang of it. I practiced that for a few rows and then she showed me how to fair isle knit. Which I picked up with no problem.

Check back later for a photo of my practice swatch: :)

Later, I went home and started a lace cowl. Did I start knitting it continental style - HELL NO. I am still practicing lace and reading lace directions and I want it to look good. I will practice my continental knitting skills on a scarf - a good long, repetitive scarf. By the end, maybe I'll be able to switch over.

Speaking of "there goes the neighborhood" we had a lovely little post on our doors informing us all of increased criminal activities in our apartment complex. Joy. The cast of stomp lives upstairs and now I have to look into the shadows when getting out of my car at night. This does not make me a happy camper.

Let's put that down as reason #78 of why Stephanie needs a boyfriend - if not someone to come home with and to - someone to be on the phone with as I go home, to make sure no boogie-monsters get me.

Or maybe I'll just go buy some pepper spray. I bet I can even get one in a pink or purple case... but then, with my history of self menace-stry, perhaps owning pepper spray isn't the safest thing in the world!

Someone would still find me on the ground - only my assailant would be myself - and as I'd be on the ground - I bet I'd have a sprained ankle too.

Yeah.. perhaps pepper spray isn't the way to go.

Anywho - that is your Wednesday update :)

Happy Ground Hog Day!

2010-02-02T09:58:00.003-05:00

So - it's February Second and that's the time of the year we drag ground hogs out of their holes to tell us if we are getting a long winter or an early Spring.

Here in Georgia - it's all overcast and raining - so it looks like for us, we're getting an early Spring. Yeah buddy. :)

The BEST part though was this paragraph about the event here in Atlanta:

Gen. Beauregard Lee gave his annual Groundhog Day prognostication Tuesday morning from his home at the Yellow River Game Ranch. The prediction was delayed when Gen. Lee got away from his handlers and hid, then climbed a fence behind his mock-mansion home.

Apparently, the video is hilarious. With a kid pointing him out on the fence and the handlers knocking Ol' Gen. Lee off the fence... lololololololololololol!

I checked You Tube for the video but it isn't up yet. lol :) Lo, how I wish it were.

Let's see - what else is going on in the land of Stephanie.

Well, I'm quite excited because this afternoon I'm going to the salon to get my hair done. By this evening I'll be a sultry brunette. :) Darker than my natural color with a few highlights in there to give it depth.

I'm not going to let her take much off in the way of length. I want to grow my hair out a little. It's been said that men like long hair. And at any rate - I am tired of looking for hair bobs to get my hair off my neck - when it's long enough, I don't need hair bobs - I can just twist it up and it will stay :) I love that.

After that, I'm going to a knitting workshop (YAY!) To learn continental knitting. For my non knitters. I'm going from the English way of knitting to the French way of knitting. Basically, it's all about how you hold your yarn and get it onto the needle. The French are a little more efficient with their style, apparently.

And it's an introduction to fair isle knitting (YAY!) Which is basically making designs using two colors of yarn on the same row.

I am also designing a little something. A tea bag cozy.

Here's the deal. I'm a tea lover. And there are like three to four bags of tea floating around in the bottom of my purses. And this is not good. I don't like it - I don't like fishing for them and I don't like how banged up they get swimming the rough seas of the inside of my purses.

So, I went onto Ravelry to find a pattern and *gasp* there wasn't one! I watch the Lace-Luminary knit up a little gift card bag a couple of weeks ago. Hers was gorgeous and lacy (of course) and while I wasn't ready to knit any lace - I thought, well, I can do something similar for my tea bags.

So - I'm using some left over sock yarn and making a wee adorable tea bag cozy. I'll post a picture and the pattern when I'm all done. Well, I hope you can follow it... I'm not really all that skilled at writing out patterns. But we'll give it a try (wink).

I also went to Whole Foods last night - I needed food. I didn't so much go grocery shopping as spend too much money on a series of snacks. I got the spicy ginger miso I love - that stuff is spicy crack. Veggie Sushi was for dinner! I also go this super food salad - which was weird and delish.

The Super food Salad was made with kale, blueberries, gobi berries, sesame seeds, edamame, cashews, and some other stuff I didn't recognize - I just ate. And there was some kind of very light vinaigrette on top. It was deslish. And made me crave blueberries. I may have to get some of those.

Anywho - that is the stream of consciousness flow inside my mind right now. lol.

I hope your local Ground Hog saw nothing but grass when he searched for his shadow - and you too get an early Spring. After the arctic winter Atlanta has had - we are ready for some warmer days!

Toodles!

My Introspection for Your Amusement

Go Boldly, with Confidence!

con·fi·dence

ar·ro·gance

nar·cis·sism

Happy New Year! 2012

Hermity Weekend for the WIN!

Busy Girl Update

Where I Learn to Shoot A Gun

Hermit time followed by a little Soapbox Time

The Man With Two Nicknames

Color me.... Happy!

Kiss like a Prince, Not like a Frog

Apparently, I'm a screamer... But First: Adventures in Pet sitting!

Just a little thought for you....

The Skeptical German and his theories

Okay, Okay, Okay: Yes, I'm still alive.

America's FAVORITE Blog!

I like to read: A book report

Non-Sequitur

It's Raining, It's Pouring

Life Without Mrs. Love-Dove

TMJ Still Kicking

Knit Night Awesomeness

Halloween Weekend Adventures

Hockey Night & Other Adventures

Birthday Adventures 2010

Most Awesome (if you love yarn)

Painless Potlucks

Halloween: Dear Children

"Special Needs"

Geek is the new Chic (and other ramblings on love and life)

The Pain Train

One-Month-a-versery of TMJD

Kiosk Attack Ninjas

Curse you Rainn Wilson & Your Ed Helms Too

TMJD Pain Scale of EVIL and DOOM

TMJD - Lock Jaw - I know, there's a joke in there.

Giggle Factory

"The Outfit"

Happy 4th of July

Round Robin of Irritation

Yield: A Tutorial

Summer of Socks!

Lame Excuses

Dumbass Chronicles of the Week

Weekend-In-Review: Tacos & Games

Where have you been? Where are you going?

Happy Easter!

Sunny Skies Make Me Sunny Inside!!

Not the Best Week if I'm being Honest...

Rude much?

Happy Valentine's and Happy Lent! (and a very yarn-y tale)

A Tale of Lunch Woes - With a HAPPY Ending!

Geaux Saints! (and other adventures)

TGIF

There goes the Neighborhood!

Happy Ground Hog Day!